Am I wrong?????
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Am I wrong?????
| Thu, 02-05-2004 - 10:06pm |
Okay I would like to get some opinions on a matter that has been bothering me a great deal. I am a stay-at-home mom to a 5yr old a 3yrold and a 4mth old. I babysit for the little girl across the street who is ADD w/ violent outbursts. Mostly I babysit because it is helpful and convenient to her mother plus I bring her and pick her up from afternoon nursery school. So here is the problem I am having, her mother brings her to my house when she is taking the day off from work(so far it has been 6 days since Jan 1st) and still expects me to bring her and pick her up from school while she's having a nice quiet day off, directly across the street I am ripping all of my hair out. So today she brought her over 7:30 a.m. while she(the mother) was still in her pj's and said she was taking the day off again. So I asked her (seeing how she was home and I had an appt) if she would pick her daughter up at 10:30(so my poor husband then would not have to babysit) and I told her I would be back by noon to bring the child to school. She said no that she really didn't feel like it but she guessed she had no choice and then proceeded to slam my door and stomp off back across the street. I am feeling a little taken advantage of not to mention extremely annoyed. Am I wrong????

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Anyway, I know how you feel. One thing I learned, if you don't speak up, they think they have complete control. A little gratitude is not asking too much, and it goes a LONG way! PLEASE stand up for yourself, it won't get any better unless you do!
Angie
Not that this would condone her behavior, but is this woman paying you? If it's a question of earning extra income you could definitely find other mothers much more respectful and appreciative of your time and caregiving skills.Is this one of those situations that started out with you watching her daughter here and there and has now snowballed into an unacceptable situation?
It isn't just a question of fairness to you but your family as well. You said that her daughter is prone to "violent outbursts" is this a kid you want around your children not to mention a 4 month old baby?
It may seem to be a difficult situation to get out of but if you don't do it now it will only get worse (if that's even possible).
You can tell her that now that you have a baby you really need to concentrate your time and energy on your own family. This way you are getting out of it in a way that will give her the least amount of leverage in the guilt and bullying dept. How can she argue you wanting to devote more time to your baby? Stick to that one reason. Don't give any others (even though there are tons!) If you keep repeating you want to devote more time to your family it will pick up it's own momentum. Sticking to one reason is better than multiple reasons anyway. It's direct and to the point. It also sounds firmer whereas several reasons can sound wishy-washy. It will definitely not be easy at first. She will get more demanding and pushy. But if you stand your ground she will eventually see that she cannot wear you down. I'd say lots of luck but this isn't about luck but your strength in standing up for yourself! Keep us posted...
Hi,, listen I can tell you after 12 years of doing daycare in my home, it takes all kinds and you need to get out of this one!
Some parents just don't get it,, when I 1st started reading your post I was going to say that maybe this mother needed a break once in awhile from a special needs child,, but she is just wrong, I CAN'T BELEIVE SHE WOULD EXPECT YOU WITH YOUR OWN 3 KIDS to still take her;s when she is home,, Ughhh!!
Ya Know I know you are neighbors but I would sit with her and give her a contract of some sort and state that although you enjoyed watching so and so, that with your 3 it's just too much and give her a 2 week notice and maybe try to give her some other examples of who could now watch her. Really it will only help you in the long run.
Your in my thoughts,
Jennifer
in Alabama
Just talk to her, you are being taken advantage of.
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