Angry all the time

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Angry all the time
6
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 3:36pm
Help!

I feel angry all the time. I am a new mom of a 3 month old boy. I love him dearly. I'm not angry at him but rather at my husband, his family, and everything that goes wrong during the day. I feel like a pressure cooker ready to explode. Is there anyone that is going through this or has gone through this? Is this normal? Any help is appreciated!

Nancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 4:28pm
Are you getting enough sleep? When I get sleep deprived I get like this. Also what seams to help this with me is church. If I have not gotten to go to church lately, I do this, and I feel just horrible. It just gives me what I need to get through the week.

baby blues and post partum (sp) depression is something to concider also. Even though your baby is 3 months old, they say it can happen even a year later. If it dosnt get better I'd talk to someone. Hormones can make you feel just horible, and this is supposed to be a fun time, an experience to remember. So there is no need to have to be feeling this way. Help is out there. Dont feel embarresed about it, there are lots who do this. After having a baby your saritonen levels are low, and those low levels are what is causing the "blues or anger"

Hang in there, and know you are not alone. and know that help is out there. and it may be as close as wal-mart. Im not sure what is out there, but I know there is stuff, hope you get some good answeres.

violet
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 4:50pm
It sounds like post partum depression to me. I had it with DS #2 for about 6 months, although I really did not realize what it was for a long time. Like you, I was angry all the time with my husband. He would come home from work, having done nothing wrong, and I would just glare at him. It would literally make me sick to look at him (poor guy - he was totally clueless). If I were you I would talk to my OB - describe what you're feeling to him and ask if he thinks that medication would be beneficial for a while. If not, you might want to consider seeing a counselor, although the symptoms seem more hormonal than psychological to me. And as the other poster mentioned, do all that you can to take care of yourself - get some sleep and eat well. Good luck!

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 8:52pm

I feel that most of the day too, but for slightly other reasons then yours.
I am alone 24/7 for 3 weeks at a time while my husband is away at work.
I have a 5 year old son and a 4 month old son and it gets frustrating doing it alone.
I like you am not angry at them, but at my home life and situation.
Cheer up and I am sure it will get better, just take his family with a grain of salt, cause they have their minds set on most everything, I am sure.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 9:36am
heck....my girls are 8 and 7 and i STILL go thru this anger thing.i am pissed at everyone that crosses my path. i mean, not people who dont do wrong, but like my neighbor and her damn 5 kids that happen to live in my back yard all day whenwe are outside.... and other stuff like that...i take it all in deep and it just eats at me til i am physicaly ill.BUT.. i am also hypothyroid, and i can tell when my thyroid isnt right, cuz i do have rages, and horrid mood swings...i also am menapausal... even tho the drs will tell me i am too young, i know i am, cuz i have all the classic symptoms...ANYHOO.to the point, after my 7yo was born, the depression and anger was HORRIBLE.horrid horrid.... i even considered suicide, i have told no one of this til now.... but i do feel for what you are going thru, i did find out AFTER that all passed when she was bout 6mo old, that thyroiditis is like one of the most common causes of ppd.. the condition can occur after childbirth, even to someone who has had no other history of thyroid problems, it is easily treatable with NO anti depressant drugs, and you dont have to stay on the drugs, it does go away..of course mine hasnt cuz i have been hypo for 13 years.. but when i had my last baby my thyroid was alllllll messed up...... once they got the dose of drug straightened back out, i was fine....75 % of all ppd is caused by thyroid , yet most drs dont even test that, they just assume it is ppd.and give out anti depressants, and never check, and of course the problem will straighten out by itself..... or they just think, go home take care of yuour family, and this will pass......what ever..... anyway.get it checked out.. have them not only do a basic thyroid, but MAKE them do a complete including a tsh.... some just do a basic and find nothing, but there is other factors in the testing that can show a minor problem..good luck......
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:53am
I felt the same way after my first child was born. The first child is the biggest adjustment. It almost seems as if everyone else's life goes unchanged and you are making all the changes and sacrifices--especially if you breastfeeding. If you have heard of the steps of grieving they are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In a way you are grieving the loss of your life as it was before kids. Because face it your life has changed. And just because you are angry doesn't mean that you don't love your child.

Men seem to just go through life and they have much less emotion than we do. The are not as deep as women. They also don't express how they feel. My husband didn't tell me for 9 months that he had been so freaked out when I left him home with the baby. He didn't know what to do with him--he said that he dreaded being alone with the baby because he cried. He really thought that I knew what our son needed. I didn't know but I figured it out. That book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" really is helpful in understanding your spouse.

But don't worry....it will get better you need to keep talking about it and you need to talk to your husband about it even if he doesn't understand, he needs to know that you are going through a hard time. Don't expect him to help you though--he might try but he probably can't. Talk to other moms I bet you will find that many of them went through the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 5:12pm
Thank you so much for sharing with me! I feel better knowing there are other people out there going through the same thing. It hadn't occurred to me to get my thyroid checked. I did have a partial thyroidectomy several years ago. I do know that when I've had it checked in the past is has been a low normal. I feel tired all the time and have no energy and generaly am not happy. I feel I would benefit from thyroid medicine but is hard to find a dr that would agree. It is difficult to take care of yourself and a new baby. I have suffered from depression as well a long time ago. Maybe I am starting with it again. Thank you all sooo much. I'll try to keep this all in mind the next time I feel a fit of rage coming on!