Anybody ever have a tubal reversal?
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Anybody ever have a tubal reversal?
| Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:40am |
After the pregnancy with my twin sons (they'll be 4 in 2 weeks), my OB convinced me to get my tubes tied. I had used fertility treatments to get pregnant with both them and our first son, and it was, or course, pretty hard on me. Physically it took me about 2 years to recover from each one of the pregnancies/treatments. Soooo.....I know it was stupid of me, but the very last thought I had before they knocked me out for the tubal was "I don't want this, I'm going to regret it." I should have jumped off the table then, but here I am 4 years later and I was right---I seriously regret the decision. I guess the suggestion came at a bad time--I was recovering from a brutal c-section with a spinal that didn't go exactly well, and both the twins were just out of NICU (and their three year old brother was NOT dealing with the new additions well LOL), and emotionally I was so torn to pieces that I just didn't think it through. Now, I feel like all I can think about is that I want another baby. Now. My husband is scared that if we get the tubal reversed a)it would be even harder on me if we couldn't get pregnant again and I would just beat myself up over it or b)there's an increased risk of tubal pregnancy after reversal, so I could be in physical danger. I think he honestly would be ok with our three boys, too, but is just willing to do this for me because it's really important to me--which makes me wonder if we should even proceed unless he is more excited too. Anybody every deal with this??? Was the procedure horrible, and did it work? How did your family react (ours will be a little surprised to say the least)? I feel like such a goof for doing something soooo important without thinking about it more clearly, but I'm a little miffed at my doctor for not recognizing that I was in post partume and shouldn't have been making the decision then too....
Angela
Angela

Why on earth would you want to take the chances that if you do become pregnant that something will happen to you or your baby? Doctors RARELY suggest a tubal. Generally, they don't like to do them because a woman may change her mind if she is of childbearing age. This was done because you are not physically able to go through another pregnancy well. 2 years to recover from a pregnancy is a long time. Plus, your last children were in NICU. Wow. How would you feel if you did become pregnant and something did happen?
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Lesley
I would seek the help of a specialist if this is what you decide to do. Talk to your husband and the specialist to decide what is right for you.
Good luck.
Tanya
With me having polycystic ovary syndrome, the older I am, the much more difficult that it will likely be to get pregnant. The possibility that clomid won't be enough next time is very real. The chance that I will be carrying more than one baby is also very real. If we're lucky, it will be two. Or, we could end up with the triplets or more that I started with before--I'm not saying that to suggest that I wouldn't be thrilled with ANY babies I was carrying, but to acknowledge that Yes, there are some factors that are a little scary. All I know is that the desire to carry another baby, and to have another child is an ache that never leaves my heart. It has become like the the big white elephant in the room-- both me and my husband know it's there, but don't say anything about it because we're not really sure what to think or do. I love my sons, and honestly don't care if we had another boy or a girl. I wake up sometimes at night and can smell that new baby smell from my memory. It makes me cry.
My OB admits that the only dangers of me trying to become pregnant again are that 1)I could end up pregnant with more than one, which would make for a pregnancy just as hard as the last, or 2)I could go to the trouble and expense of trying after reversing the tubal, and still not be able to conceive. I know that the obvious solution is to consider adoption. I even have to acknowledge that the reason I haven't done that is rather selfish--I really do want to be pregnant again in my lifetime. As hard as it was to carry the twins, I loved every second of being pregnant. It was the most beautiful experience of my life, and the thought that I may never be able to feel that again just breaks my heart.
I guess that part of me knows that even if I do get a reversal, with the chance of not being able to get pregnant, I need to reconcile myself to that thought now. If I could reconcile it, though, the reversal would be a moot point... I just wish I knew how to do that.
:( Angela
Tanya
You need to realize that you have a wonderful family already. You have 3 kids and a husband who need you. I feel it would be extremely selfish and shortsighted of you to go through all of this in the small chance that you would become a parent again. What would happen to the family that you already have if you were to become sick or incapacitated (even for a short time) because of your need to become pregnant again.
Having another child will NOT fill the hole you have in your heart. I would suggest that you find someone that you can talk to, either clergy or a professional. Then after you truly examine your feelings and the reasoning behind them, you can make a decision.
I do want to say that it strikes me that you want to be pregnant. If it was to enlarge your family, I would suggest adoption, but this seems like a need of yours which you know cannot (should not) be filled.
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I love my three boys more than anything--and they're a beautiful family. With a family that has made having babies a professional activity, I'm just getting used to the idea that three sons can be complete, and that I'm not cheating myself and my husband and them by not having more children. I'm trying to focus now on the things that are good about NOT having a half a dozen children running around... We definitely have more one on one time with them than a lot of kids in our extended family will ever get from their parents, not for lack of love or effort, but just lack of hours in the day. And financially, the advantages are obvious.
I guess the biggest factor is the risk, though. I'm probably the most protective mom I know--my kids have more padding and head gear than the average sky diver. My husband has to pry my fingers off of them sometimes so they can go out of my eyesight... I don't know who would protect them like that if I were gone. My husband is wonderful, and loves them more than the sun and the moon---but he's a daddy, and thinks that little boys and rope swings are a great combination... If I were not in their lives, who would they whisper to every night before they go to sleep?
Well, anyway, thanks for being there for me to use as a sounding board. Talking through it in my head only goes so far--having someone say the things that I was thinking anyway out loud helps more than I can say.
Angela