Anyone have exp picking nursing homes?

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Anyone have exp picking nursing homes?
2
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 6:37pm
Hi all. Sorry I haven't been around. August was a crazy month and September is not looking much better. My mom was in the hospital last month for these blackout spells/ seizures (diabetic or otherwise). We thought she would be better once she learned how to manage her diabetes but she had another episode Tuesday out of the blue. She's in a rehabilitation facility now with a black eye and a broken hand. They didn't want her going home alone. She really shouldn't be living on her own anymore.

What she really needs is an assisted living complex where she has someone there 24/7 but is still living independently but they are very expensive and don't seem to take state insurance or assistance. So, we are down to either moving her in here (no thanks) getting her an apartment near us and me checking in on her several times a day (almost more work than her living here!) or a nursing home. We really can't take her in as we're only renting ourselves. There just no room or money for that. A nursing home would be covered by MediCare/MediCal and she would have someone there policing her medications which I think is a lot of her problem right now.

I have a list of homes in the area, but I don't even know where to start. What questions do I need to ask? Do I have to go visit every single one in the area and how will I know they aren't just putting on a pretty face for guests? How long of a wait do you think I should expect before I can get her in somewhere? I just don't even know where to start. *sigh*

TIA for your help.

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 7:14pm
Hi. First of all, hugs to you. I am a lurker here, but I have gone through placing my mother in a nursing home. My husband and I are currently attempting to place his 98 year old grandmother someplace.

Most counties have Departments of Aging that can help point you in the right direction. I would also do an online search for nursing homes in your county. Medicare will pick up the cost of nursing home care, but there are income and asset criteria to be met. If your Mom has any assets (savings, home, etc.) you may be required to spend down the assets first. Most nursing homes have a business office where you can get help regarding qualifying for benefits.

I would do an onsite visit to any nursing home you may be interested in. You should also probably do research regarding the number of complaints, health violations, etc. any nursing home may have. The Dept. of Aging in your area can probably help you address this.

We have been advised by our Dept. of Aging that my Husband's grandmother does not qualify for nursing home placement because she is "in too good of shape." She lives alone in an apartment, has completely lost her short term memory, recently fell and broke her right wrist and only qualifies for 6 hours per week of in home assistance.

We have been advised that in order for there to be a nursing home placement, there must be a physician currently treating Mom Mom and the Doctor must recommend the placement.

My sister in law has done some research into this as well and she found a couple of books at her public library, written by elder care lawyers, that talk about nursing home placement, questions to ask, etc. She lives in California and we are in Maryland. I cannot recall the names of the books however.

We are currently paying out of pocket for a caregiver to check on her 3 hours per day, 5 days per week ($17.00 per hour). Mom Mom also qualifies for Meals on Wheels, which is a big help. Meals on Wheels delivers lunch and dinner M-F, weather permitting. Their fee is based on income. The nice thing about it is if they do not get an answer from the client when delivering the food, they will call the designated person to notify them that there might be a problem.

This can be a very frustrating process. We have run into a great deal of roadblocks (not even taking into consideration the emotional toll this takes on a family).

Good luck to you in this difficult process. I hope this helps, even a little bit.



Avatar for jennyberm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 8:16pm
Thanks, that does help. I too am worried about her not being bad enough to qualify for a nursing home BUT she qualified for 20 hours a week of in-home assistance and it still doesn't seem to be enough. Her doctor, at least the one who treated her the other night, has recommended that she not live alone. She was saying assisted living, but...

Thanks again for the input. I think the hardest part is going to be doing it all long distance. I am so afraid that she is going to talk the rehab center into releasing her early to her apartment (like she did last time!) without anyone contacting me first. It's so hard doing everything over the phone. But then again, it's even harder doing it while trying to keep a 3 yo and a 1 yo occupied at MIL's house 600 miles from home and their routine. :(

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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