Is anyone jealous that you are a SAHM?
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| Mon, 06-28-2004 - 5:43pm |
How do you respond? I don't like getting into it with them so I just don't say anything but I really want to respond when I get these comments. I know I won't be bored. I have a child who needs me and I plan to do things with him and my mom, SIL and MIL (they don't work either). And as far as a "life" outside of kids...what is that? Seriously, I WANT my son to be my life that is why I'm quitting my job. I worked very hard to become an attorney and it's not an easy decision to make, especially since DS was a little surprise and I hadn't planned on having a child for another couple of years so that I could enjoy my hard earned career for a little while.
I just wish I had more support. My family is very supportive and most of my friends are, but the ones who aren't just try to make me feel guilty.
What do you do?
Kelly

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I know a lot of people that are jealous I am a SAHM and then I also know a few others that just don't understand. I always say the same thing that Gen said in the last post...I refuse to pay someone else to raise my kids. Some of my friends pay anywhere from $10,000 - $15,000 a year for childcare. Are they crazy!?
Think about it this way also. Some people can't be a SAHM because they feel they can't change their lifestyle so that they can afford to be a SAHM, but I find that others CAN'T be a SAHM because they don't have the PATIENCE.
A friend of mine wants to be a SAHM, but I was brutally honest with her and told her that I didn't think that she could handle it. She thinks that I am crazy because I take my kids everywhere with me...my Doctors appointments, the grocery, errands..ect. I told her that when you are a SAHM your kids are with you all the time. They may not always behave, but they have to go with me. She was honest with me and said that she couldn't do that. If she was a SAHM she would have to find someone to watch them when she needed to do those things. For example..Friday afternoon I ran into her at the grocery and my two kids were with me of course and she said I don't know how you do it..I had to leave work early today so that I could stop at the grocery to pick up a few things BEFORE getting my kids. Yes, it's easier without kids, but I never have that option.
Another friend of mine only works part-time, but she takes her kids to a sitter when she is off so that she can clean her house, run errands, go to the grocery or just go shopping. She is also thinking about becoming a SAHM, but I think she would be a SAHM with the kids always at the sitters...LOL. She always admits that she is jealous of me and says that she would like to be home with her kids more, but deep down I just have to chuckle to myself.
In my situation it turned out to be a very important decision that I only worked very little when my kids were born and now I am a SAHM because I noticed things just weren't right with my DS shortly after he was born. Since I had been home most of the time with my DD and knew how babies react and respond and move as newborns I clearly noticed that something was wrong with my DS. He was very "floppy" and was unable to hold his head up and this continued. The Doctors told me that if he would have been my first child or I had worked all the time I may not have caught on to his problems or I may not have caught on as quickly. So working little and then becoming a SAHM has been a blessing. I am able to take him to all of his Doctors appointments and therapies easily instead of trying to schedule around my work schedule that was only given to us a week in advance.
Yesterday, I had several unnerving comments from a friend of the family on my DH side. He said I'm glad to see that you guys are able to take a Vacation and get away because your DH needs time to relax since he works so hard everyday. He even told me to make sure that I try to keep the kids occuppied so that my DH can relax. What do I do everyday..watch T.V. and eat bon bons. Of course not. I am busy everyday to. I said when do I get a Vacation so that I can relax? His response was.. you are on Vacation everyday. What!!!!????? I told him that I would give him one day with my kids and he would totally change his attitude. He is an older guy, but of course he has never had any children. He has never even been married. So I tried not to let it get to me to much..LOL.
Sorry my post was so long, but see we all have those that are jealous or those that just don't understand!! Just know that you are doing the right thing for yourself and your family by being a SAHM and know that you have all of us supporting you!!
Have a Wonderful Day!
Beth - SAHM to Lauren (11-98) and Noah (8-00)
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