Anyone truly like being a SAHM?
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| Tue, 01-11-2005 - 1:59pm |
I ask this question very seriously! I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or am I saying anything about their parenting, I am truly curious about this...
I cannot help but notice that a lot of posts are geared toward how to be a SAHM when you don't want to be. I am not speaking about the moms who come here with the occasional doubt because I know that is natural but I see these posts all the time, and not just on this board. Are their truly so many moms who do not like being at home...or is it just that these are a "safe" place to have a rant?
I am not saying I do not have bad days...because I do. But I have to say that 90 percent of the time I LOVE being at home. I truly enjoy my kids. I like sharing breakfast with them, playing outside with them, teaching them especially since we homeschool, even taking them to the grocery store most of the time. I really feel no need to "get away" from my kids.
When I feel like I have had enough or that I need

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I do! I love being a SAHM and couldn't imagine it any other way. I love being with my kids and wasn't quite ready to let them go off to school (although now that they're in school, I love having a few hours to myself every day : )
I think that for many of us this board really is a great place to vent. It's always nice to know that there are other people out there that know just how we feel or have gone thru the same things (and survived : ) Because no matter how much we love our kids and want to do what's best for them, being a mom can be a tough job.
A lot of the recent posts have been from new moms and having a child it is a HUGE transition. No matter how ready you are to have children, you just never know what it's like until it happens. Some women handle it better than others, some babies are much easier than others, some husbands are more supportive than others...there are alot of different things going on for each of us. I thought having my first was a piece of cake right from the beginning and couldn't imagine why some people thought parenting was so difficult. Then my second came along at the same time my first was entering her terrible twos...and things weren't quite so easy anymore.
We all love our kids and want to do what's best for them. I think most of us that stay at home do it because that's what we want to do...but we all have bad days. And as much as I love being with my kids, I also think it's good for them to be away from me. I was like you and never wanted to be away from them. But I realize that eventually I'm going to have to let them go and so I'm trying to ease myself in to it.
So anyways, I've rambled on but just want you to know there is one other mom out there who loves what she does...and I'm sure there are alot more too!
Wendy
Hi Traci,
I truley LOVE it. I enjoy my daughter, I love all her milestones I have been able to witness. I love that she's slowly turning into a little person, not a speachless baby (although I may regret this one in a few months!) today for instance, she came up behind me, and tugged on my shirt, handed my her cup and said "juice" I have never heard her say that before.
I don't feel a great desire to be away from her. Of course there are the icky days, when she's sick or teething , and the crying or whinning gets to you, but once dh is home, I take a glass of wine, and have a bath, then I'm all good! I can't imagine taking a holiday without dh...but I think when she's a few years older, I wouldn't mind taking a vacation without her.
Somedays are slower than others around here, but there's always something to do, or somewhere to go, but I really do like being home. It's the best decision I have ever made (other than marrying dh, and having dd!)
Lesley
mommybeetx (I am sorry, but I don't know your name...)
I am new to this board and still a working mom...I am pg with #4 and will be staying home after this one is born (9/05). I am excited and scared all at the same time about staying home. I currently work 3 days a week. I am looking at these boards to find great advice from people like you who make it work and love it. I know that I will struggle with staying at home at first because I can be very hard on myself regarding organization. I am wondering how everyone does it...do you schedule groceries on a certain day...how do you get meals done...etc. I have to do all of that stuff now, but I guess when I stay home, I am expecting myself to do it much better (less takeout).
Please keep posting great advice for people like me.
Thank you,
Kimberly
Yes, I can honestly say I like being a SAHM. And I just came to this realization not too long ago. When my son was first born I HATED it, sometimes I would want to go to work for a break! I was 21 when I had him and my husband and I sacrificed A LOT for me to stay home with my baby. We couldn't get a new car right away, lived in an apartment(still do!), but I realized material things just couldn't add up to the time my son and I spend together. That is truly priceless and wouldn't trade it in for any amount of money I could make going to work.
I really value the time my son and I have now because I know he will be in preschool soon, and we will no longer be together all day. I think staying at home has taught me TREMENDOUS patience, I couldn't have learned anywhere else. I also like bringing my son to the store with me, when I go by myself I just feel this emptiness like he should be with me picking out things he likes! Maybe I'm wierd...? My husband and I went on a weekend alone once and we missed our son SOO much, that's ALL we talked about, and how much we couldn't wait to see him. I do the same as Traci, if I've had enough, I just ask to be alone or go for a drive, or walk and it always works. It really takes a strong woman to stay at home,in my opinion no other job can be as much work! I will only stay at home until my kids are in school, then I will go back to college to finish my bachelor's degree, But Im enjoying this time more than anything I have ever experienced.
Kate&
Dominic-2 years
Sure it is boring at times, stressful at time, but I get to be here with them with it is boring and stressful. I would have it no other way.
I absolutely LOVE IT!!! I quit my job
I do like being a SAHM. I am not truly with her everyday. She goes to a sitters house 2 days a week for a few hours. I do not have a high patience tolerance so I do enjoy the time that I get to myself. The biggest problem that I have with staying at home is that I feel guilty for not making money and that dh works his butt off doing something that he does not really like so I can stay home.
I can not imagine not being with her each day.
Sarah
I also admit to really liking the couple hours of quiet time I get when they are in school. My time at scrapbook events or just being with friends is my great escape.
Granted I am older than some of the moms here, and I worked for 20 years before becoming a stay at home mom. So I do love not having to get up and go to work everyday, knowing that if I don't feel like it, the housework can wait. lol
Nancy
I love staying at home, and I wouldn't change my decision to stay home for anything. However, there are times when I do need a break. I had my boys fairly close together (3 kids in 3 1/2 years), so life has been pretty chaotic since they came along. Also, my husband travels Monday through Friday, and so I am with my kids by myself every day. So having special "mommy time" away from the kids is what keeps me sane. I love getting together with girlfriends for a night out once a month or even a scrapbooking weekend away a few times a year. I treasure my friendships, and I love the time that I spend with my friends. Also, it's important that my husband and I have a night out every now and then away from the kids. Any marriage counselor will tell you that making time with your spouse is very important in a marriage. It helps you grow stronger as a couple, and it shows your children that mom and dad love each other and want to spend time together. So while I love my kids and love being at home with them, I still need a break every now and then. I think that this is healthy, and at any rate, it works for me!
Paige
I was actually wondering the same thing a while back--I'm totally stressed right now because the twins are going to go to school this fall, and I'm not ready at all for that.
We've had long conversations about what I'm going to do once all three of ours are in school come September. We're left with me staying home, and being more involved at school, and maybe doing something part time--maybe back at the hospital if I'm feeling brave, and they can understand what PART TIME means lol--just for a little extra cash, and for something to focus on so I don't obsess about the boys not being home.
It sounds kind of sappy I guess, but I alway knew that THIS is what I wanted to do. When I was a little girl, and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always say the same thing. I wanted to be a mommy. I never had aspirations of a big career. I never saw myself as a big executive, or as really anything except as a wife and mom. I went away to college and kept wondering what I was doing. I went to work for the hospital and always felt like it was just what I was doing until my real life started. This IS my chosen career. Sort of sad that most people won't recognize it for that.
If I could have one thing, it would be to be able to have more children. My body, and modern economics, have seen to it that that is not exactly likely right now (we'll negotiate for later lol), but if I could make a wish on a star, that would be my wish. A house FULL of children, and the ability to stay home with them until they decide to leave home. I'm the Room Mom at school, I'm the assistant scout master, I'm the PTO mom, and that's all the kind of titles that I could ever want out there in the world. I love walking into the school, or the store, or a scout meeting and hearing--That's Wil's Mom, or Hi Wil Wes and Wade's Mommy! I hear women complain that they don't want to be "JUST somebody's wife, or somebody's mother". That's JUST all I've ever wanted to be, and all that has ever brought me true joy. I love being a stay home mom. It's not just what I do--it's who I am.
Angela
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