Back to work? Can't make it anymore...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Back to work? Can't make it anymore...
2
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 6:21pm
HI everyone, I am new here. Just frustrated, scared, tired, ...everything.
I've been a SAHM since having my daughter. I had her young, she is 9 now. Needless to say I didn't finish college, etc. I decided to just finish having a family and this way the kids would be out of the house around the same sort of time.
We were in CA for about 5 yrs which was good. My DH made a good amount of money. Honestly though I dont know if I just think that compared to what we have now or what. We moved back to NY b/c my family is here. We HAD family in CA but that fizzled out and with kids (no extended family) it wasn't what we wanted. People think living in NY (NOT near NYC) that we should be fine b/c cost of living is lower, etc. Which to a degree yes. Now thinking back though, we rented a 3bedroom house for 1125 a month in a nice area. Here we would pay about the same!! Here we pay past 200 a month for heat/electric where in Cali we paid about 100 a month or less. Milk was a lot more, but I'd rather pay that and make much more than we make now!! I think moving here was great for the family, but bad for our wallets.
I have a 5 yr old in p/t Kindergarden and a 2 yr (3 in feb) home with me. My SIL said her place is hiring $10 per hour but is it worth what daycare costs? It would be 30-35hrs a week. I work p/t at a retail store making $9 a hr now. But it's nights/weekends type thing which I am getting SOOOO fed up with. I feel like it takes away from time here as it is. The amount of hrs I can work there really doesn't give much of a check.
Whats really adding to our burden is health problems. Since having my son I've been having one thing after the other so besides copays ($25 a visit) prescriptions, ($50per month) and tests...I've injured my knee as of late. Since mid Sept I've been billed $300+ in other things to pay for. I may need surgery, I need Physical therapy but can't pay the $25 for each visit 3 times a week. I dont really buy much as my mom usually buys the kids clothes and stuff. I just try to by me and DH things here or there that I find cheap.
We are falling behind on our bills. These are just basic ones. My DH makes too much for us to get help, but we are the bottom of that next income bracket. We'd need to make about $20,000 more a year I think for us to be 'ok'. Needless to say we don't have any extra money to vacation or whatever. IF we do just decide to just do it, we always suffer horribly for it afterwards. WE dont have any credit cards since we finally paid them off over 6 months ago. I refuse to get one since they only cause problems for us.
What do I do!? I can't go on like this- we can't. We are too broke, but too rich for any help. We pay 600 a month for health insurance. We pay too much for our car but we only have 8 months left to pay so I am trying to just get through that. I would kick myself to let that go with that short time left after 4 yrs! We dont own yet, we rent from my parents. Our bank account seems to always south which is horrible.
I just dont know what to do, where to turn. We have a few luxuries, online movie rentals, cable tv and internet, but these things we have b/c we can't afford to do other things so at least we have home entertainment- especially b/c I am SAHM!!!!!!!
HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 9:30am
((((((Hugs)))))) to you! I'm sorry I can't offer any advice. I'm in the same boat. I moved to be near family and they abandoned me, and we make more but the company dh works for is messing with our pay, so we can't get assistance, either. I'm sorry I can't help; I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I hope things improve...soon! The only things that get me through: don't sweat about money (seems weird, but don't think about it. Refuse to. It's either there or it's not. Just make sure you pay your rent and utilities and let the rest just rest until you get the money.), and look for the tiniest wonderful thing you can. Some days it seems like nothing goes right, but there's definitely at least one good thing in each day; look for it and revel in it. If you can, go to bed early, have a drink (okay, so it's not a great habit, but if it gets you through in the really bad times...). That's just what I do, and it has helped my stress levels. They're still there, mind you! But it helps day-to-day. G/L! (((((((Hugs)))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 9:32am
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
I know exactly where you are coming from... been there, done that!
If you don't want to go back to work, then you need to figure out a way to cut expenses. Take a serious look at where your money is going every month, and write it all down. Try to see where you can cut down, and begin to make out a budget. It really helps if you plan out menus for every week and buy only the groceries you need, instead of "impulse buying" at the grocery store. Cut coupons on Sundays and look for sales. It sounds like you'll be getting some relief in 8 months when the car is paid off, so maybe you can just cut down on things for a few months... no eating out, no movies, etc. Christmas is coming up, but you'll need to remember to have a set amount per person that you can afford and pay cash for (SERIOUS congrats on paying off and closing the credit cards btw!!!).
You might also have your dh check his work to see if they have a flexible spending account program for medical bills, where they take the money out of his paycheck before taxes. This has really helped us b/c we set aside a certain amount every year that is automatically deducted into an account and we don't even have to think about coming up with the money when it's time to make those co-pays.
Also, check out www.daveramsey.com... he's a financial whiz and has some really great ideas.
Lots of P&PT to you!!!!!

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