birthday party dillemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
birthday party dillemma
2
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:28pm
DSs 9th bd/sleepover party is this weekend. Due to limited space/money, we told him he could pick 2 friends to come over. It was hard for him to choose who to invite, as he has a lot of different types of friends (friends of the family, neighbor friends, school friends, etc.) One child on the bus told another he was invited and the other wondered why he wasn't invited. My son told him exactly what we said-his parents told him he could only invite 2 people. Were we wrong to make a limit on how many to invite? I counted how many parties DS has been invited to over the past year, and it's been over 10! That is way too many kids I can have over. The invitations were already sent out, so I guess it's water under the bridge. I don't want any hard feelings among the kids or their parents. DS really wanted a sleepover this year, and this will be his first official "friend" party (the other years we had our families over). I think we are just getting to the age where they are starting to be selective of who they play with/hang out with. Any suggestions/comments?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:54pm

I see nothing wrong with just choosing two for his special sleep over. My ds was in private school last year and it seemed to be a very big issue about not showing up for birthday party's. It was almost like the parents thought you were insulting them. I am sure it is probably the same if children or parents hear so and so is having a party and they(their child) was not invited after they had invited your child...well that is just my best guess in what is happening.


Is it possible to give small gift bags to his friends who cannot come? Maybe just some stickers and a small toy? I would not let him give them out in class though unless there is enough for all. Or even special birthday cupcakes...if the teacher allows would maybe help.


Sorry his happy event is turning into this! Good luck and hope this can help some.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:34pm
Thank you for your reply! Unfortunately, the kids that DS has been invited to for their parties over the last year or so are in 4 separate sections of 3rd grade. I just don't think bringing treats to the ones not invited would work-someone would still feel left out. I'm going to "let the chips fall where they may" and I guess this is a situation we must all face at one time or another. I did tell DS to not expect to be invited to some of the kids' future birthdays if you did not invite them-he seemed fine with that. They are just getting to the age where you can't invite everyone like one could in preschool/Kind.