Bored SAHM... Can U Help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2005
Bored SAHM... Can U Help?
2
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 9:03pm

Hello all... I'm a SAHM for my 2 kids. Gabriella is 3y 9m and Nathan is 1y. Gabi has been in preeschool since september and she loves it. she goes everyday from 8:30am to 12pm and Nathan stays home with me. I've been at home with them since Gabi was born, the thing is that I'm getting very frustrated. Since Nathan started to become a little person (at about 6 months) everytime she is around him she is annoying him. She holds him until he starts to cry, she lays on top of him, sometimes she bites him. It's hard to explain in a few words because sometimes she is a great little girl too. But I feel like all I do is yell at her and tell her to stop and put her in time out. I feel guilty because I'm actually enjoying the time she is at school. I have debated before about keeping her in school because I'm a SAHM and I think I should have her at home with me and soon enough she'll be in real school, etc. But at the same time I have no clue what I would do with her all day long. I'm tired of getting at the end of my day and to feel that I haven't done anything right. I go to sleep everynight thinking that tomorrow I will not have to get mad at her but she starts to misbehave the moment she wakes up. she starts grabing Nathan and doesn't help me dress her for school, etc...
I'm part of my local moms club since she was 5 months old. I really love it and have made great friends, I take the kids to several events every week but somehow i still feel like I'm lacking as a good mom. when I'm at home there are so many things to do, clean, cook, laundry, diapers, naps, etc.. that I feel that at home I don't pay attention to her so that's whay i try to gwet out as much as I can with them.
I'm also tired of not having any time for myself. I stay up everynight until 12am because I enjoy so much my "free" time but the next day i wake up very tired and Nathan wakes up at around 7am.
Oh well... I suppose that's a lot of things for just one message but I'm really frustrated I feel very guilty for not enjoy as much as I should being at home right now.
thanks for reading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 11:17pm

I am putting on my pre-k teacher hat...lol Here is my advice.


Children must learn how to behave. They are not born knowing what is expected of them. Children do not have self-control to act like an adult. during preschool years, Asking, begging and whining are common.


Typical Preschoolers (3-5 years)


- may be mature one moment and like a baby the next
- is full of energy
- thinks the world revolves around him/her
- learn by asking questions
- has little reasoning ability
- does not relate actions to results


What causes misbehavior ?


- Changes in routine (holidays, visitors, traveling)
- Unclear directions. Use simple words to tell child one thing at a time.
- Unmet physical needs (hunger, sleep, fever)
- Unmet emotional needs - having a bad day, not enough adult attention, anger


How to teach self-control


Prevention
Childproof home
Prepare child
Have back-up plans
Stick to routine and child's schedule
Praise
Hugs, kisses and smiles
Saying you are "proud" or "great job" even for behaving in the car!
Noticing good waiting or that they did not ask for candy in the check-out line!


I personally think she may need time alone with you. Maybe some special crafts she does with you, or a game while the baby takes a nap. It sure sounds like she is trying to get your attention, even if she has to misbehave to do it.


I bet if you help your dd with her behaviors that all the other stuff will clear up!


Good luck. I hope this can help some.


Traci

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 9:40am
I am just going to give my opinion.
I think this is normal of any sibling that is older and even younger ones.
I am not saying she should be doing it. Maybe she is jealous?
About the no time and saying up late to get it, that's normal. I do the same thing. I have them in bed by 9, on a god night, and then stay up till 12 or so trying to get things done for me. Just part of being a mom I guess.





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