Can't Handle it....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Can't Handle it....
10
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 4:28pm

I can't handle it, with baby and DS, baby doesn't sleep, maybe she get 3 ,4, to 5 whole hours of sleep,a day and the rest she's always waking up and eating, so barely have time to care for DS, and then he's no help, he's been acting up pretty bad, screaming, whining, just throwing tantrums, ugly ones, I'm tired, haven't had no sleep and barely eat if anything, I'm running around like a zombie, oh to make matters worse got a breast infection, felt like crap. I hate that I don't have the help, I hate DH for having the job he does, and not been around everyday to help out, everything is frustating, I can't handle it, I miss DH, I need he's help. I need baby to sleep more, DS to stop acting up the way he is, so I can take care of them both with a little bit more freedom, and so I can get some sleep and eat. GOD I need help!! I've cried so many times and sream of frustation, and all this mix emotions, cause everything turn out totally different to what it would be once baby was home, everything turn out so different!?


I need it to vent, have to go now, barely have time for this? I need to go munch on something instead of being sitting here....


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 4:37pm
I have BTDT when I had Dalton and doing it again with this child as of yesterday.
It is hard, and you know what, it gets better.
I spent 6 weeks alone when I had Dalton and also had Andrew (4 at the time) to take care of, alone!
I cried and cried, got no sleep, didnt eat much, didnt have any help. I thought I would lose it.
We are here for you, to talk to, vent to, ask questions, anyhting. I know having some outlet is god for you.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 4:41pm


((((hugs))))
i have 3 kids and when i had my last everything was crazy i had complications from the pregnancy which made me go to the hospital every other day to get blood work then
giving myself shots in my stomach to thin my blood,while all this going on i had a newborn
that was 5 days old , a 2 yr,and 5yr old that i had to take to pre k every day and pick up becuase my dh was working 15 hr days and would get home and go to sleep not even deal w/the kids so i felt like a single mom. but it does pass and you get into a routine
and everything starts falling into place. so just take one day at a time,
"this to will pass"

Xiomarra(C-o-mara)
mom to :
Nathaniel 5 yr
Ella 3 yr
Noah 4 mths old

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 4:49pm
Is your H out of town or something? My H refuses
to help do anything around the house except mow
the lawn and the last time he mowed the lawn he
didn't even finish it becouse he had to go do
something waste time doing something else. I
have just got used to doing everything around
here including picking up after my h when he
makes a snack in the kitchen. Anything that
he drug out I end up putting back or thats
where it will be till dooms day! Does your
H usually help you out! If my H has to do
anything at home he looks like he is going
to blow his top! I hope things calm down for
you and you get some sleep and help that you
need. Maybe try talking to your h and tell him
that you need to get out alone for a few hours
a couple times a week! It does help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 7:28pm
DH works in a teen counseling facility, and he works 3 days and nights straight, and then 3
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 7:44pm

Having been there and done that, I have one piece of advice for you:

HIRE HELP

I don't care if you have to dip into savings, put it on your credit card or sell plasma; hire help. It is summer so you should be able to get a kidn to help you at a reasonable price. Or, hire a nanny or nurse for a few days a week.

You are doing nobody any good by trying to do this yourself. It doesn't make you a better mom if you do everything yourself without help. It makes you a tired, grouchy, not so good mom who is three seconds away from loosing it.

Again, having been where you are I know that you need help. Get it.

Also, your hubby goes away one of his days off on a trip? Did I read that right? If so, unless the trip is for radiation treatments you tell him to keep his a$$ home. He has no right to go away once a week to have fun when you are on call 24.7.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2005
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 3:07am
You are not alone!!
I fully understand what you're going through and can sympothize with you! Do you have anyone that can help? Family or a friend or a neighbor? Even if it's just a couple of hours a week so that you can rest a little. Have you tried laying down with both kiddos to take a nap together?
I'm so sorry you don't have your hubby around much to help you, I know that makes it harder.
Hang in there, you'll make it through!
Come vent anytime :-)
Michelle
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 9:49pm

I really get "NO HELP" and I think I am
starting to feel like I wanna blow my
top. I can't even go do something as
simple as join a volleyball team that
I was invited to join. I just wanna
scream. My h at work all day today I
finally called him at 5:51pm becouse
he has not called one time. I ask him
so have you been busy and the answer
was NO. So then I jumped all over him
for not calling to say I know it stinks
I'm at work all day today but Happy 4th
anyway. He had time to go sleep on the
job for 2 hours and talk to his buddy
but couldn't call his wife and kids.
Not to metion he didn't say anything
to me on my birthday till I said some-
thing to him first and then it was a
half hearted mummled happy birthday
and walked away. My nbor asked me if
I would like to borrow her broom to
smack him upside his head. I'm start-
ing to feel like you can I keep doing
this and being this unhappy? Then I
say to myself but someone has to work
and pay the bills and the car payments
and the food. I am just feeling very
irritated right now. I'm feeling very
lonely. It makes me sad when I see the
nbor girl who is only 21 getting gifts
from her guy all the time and they are
not even married yet (not that they don't
have there problems) all I want is a simple
two min. phone call and I don't even get that.
Maybe its just a phase that will pass and I
have to belive things will get better! I hope
they get better for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 2:32am

thanks you all, thanks very much for the support,and yes I really need the help, I'm starting to think that I should go back to my sister's who is 3 hrs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 3:56pm

Did you try to ask your h if you guys
can arrange for you to get out of the
house a few times a week for a few hours.
You could go shopping (even if its only
grocery shopping) I refuse to take my dd
grocery shopping! Or maybe go to starbucks
and have a ice coffee and dessert and read
a book while your there. It really is a load
off my shoulders to go get the grocery's alone.
keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 4:45pm

(((HUGS))) to you, Alicia!! Hang in there! It's going to get better, I promise you. I've BTDT! I know *just* how you feel. After my twin baby girls were born *preemie* no less, and on apnea monitors (I thought they were going to stop breathing any second), my DH was at work sooooo much it seemed. I also had a 2 year-old and a 5 year-old. I didn't get much sleep at all, because once one baby would fall asleep, the other would wake up. I was so exhausted, I was practically hallucinating, and all I did was cry. At the same time, my MIL who had been a *huge* support to us and helped me with the kids all the time, was dying.

But I lived to tell about it. . . Here I am!! It got better, and it will for you, too. In the mean time, hang in there and come vent to us any time you need to. And don't be shy about asking for help either. I wish I could come and help you out! :)

Sofia




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