Cant seem to pull it together
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Cant seem to pull it together
| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:31pm |
I just cant seem to do all the mountains of work that need to be done at home. I feel so tired and frazzled. Noelle takes up most of my time and I feel like I should have the home running like a well oiled machine by now. I became a sahm in November and Noelle just turned 1 and we have Danielle who is 7. It just seems like mornings are crazy to get 2 kids ready then walk dd to school with baby in tow, then come home and make her a nice breakfast, no time to clean up really since she is all over the place, then her nap, then time to make lunch, get dd from school soon after that with baby in stroller, then homework, snacks, cuddles, dinner, bath, husband, etc.... How does anyone do it??? I look around and feel like I didnt accomplish anything all day.

take care and remember you are not alone, it is hard work.
arie
Stop beating yourself up girlie!
First of all, you JUST started this whole JOB and as with any job it takes some time to get things figure out and you will!!! It's hard work being a SAHM, but you don't REALLY get that until you do it!
Second of all, even though you feel like you didn't do anything, you sure described a very busy day to me! Don't be so hard on yourself, not only do you have a ONE YEAR OLD, but you also have 2 walks a day to go on and an older child to parent as well with completely different needs.
Sounds like you're doing everything that needs to be done...remember, you became a SAHM to be just that...a MOMMY! =)
There's some really great tips in the thread a few down from here with home organization and time management tips...for days when you find time for
Very well said Nichole, ITA!
I think we all know too well the feeling that we didn't accomplish anything all day. We stop noticing all that WAS accomplished just by being there. Just today for example, I was able to accomplish sitting with my son, who is apparently getting sick (ARGH, why does his big sister have to share that!) and comforting him as much as he needed me. I couldn't have accomplished that if I wasn't here with him. Lol, I was also able to accomplish not ripping my hair out in frustration over why he was crying until I figured it out after his morning nap and he woke up overly warm. There are a lot of mini-victories through out the day that don't get noticed because they don't bring along it any flashy showey recognition. What's that saying "some days you're the hammer, so days you're the nail"?? Some days the house will be neat and tidy (sure, it'll be after the kiddo's highschool graduation but so what) some days it'll look like a disaster swept through. But would you rather have a clean tidy house, or happy engaged children?
Give yourself a break. This mommy stuff isn't a race. Nobody is handing out tropheys come the kiddo's 18th birthday saying congratulations. It's a never ending journey
I really can relate to that feeling of not accomplishing anything. For me it was realizing that, while I wasn't not accomplishing things monetarily I was accomplishing a lot just by being there for my son. Sure, having the house messy absolutely drives me nuts, I have to keep telling myself that it can be cleaned tomorrow. Where am I going, anyway? LOL
I agree that having a routine or a schedule works best for me. Eliminating one stress from your life would help, such as planning dinner. (I have a list on the fridge every two weeks for what we're going to be eating that way I can pull out from the freezer if I need to, or know that I already have everything I need for that meal.)
Just remember that your daughter won't be that age forever. She'll remember more that you spent time with her rather than that you kept a clean home. :)
I want to second what the other posters said.. don't beat yourself up!
My best suggestion is to pick one day a week to do the major cleaning. For lots of moms Saturdays is what works since dh is home to help. I'm talking like the sweeping and mopping, vaccuuming, the major scrub of the counters, etc.
Every day, do the dishes and wipe down the counters with a wet sponge. Pick up toys at the end of the day. If your kids are as messy of eaters as mine you probably will have to sweep at least around the table each day. You'd be amazed how just those little things keep your house looking clean. Of course I have a smallish house, just over 1100 sq. ft. and the bedrooms aren't the cleanest, but the main living area is clean and that's what I feel is important. So, that's my other tip, make yourself feel better by cleaning the areas you can't shut the door on. Which means kitchen, living room, and the bathroom a guest would use if there. The bedrooms will come together with time.
I went through a spell where my house was a disaster 24/7, then I made my dh help me get back on top of it and now each day I do the small things I talked about above and once a week I do a major cleaning and my house looks like I put a ton of work into it every day. And I don't.