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| Thu, 08-02-2007 - 2:04pm |
After so much debate and thoughts and praying I know I have the answer of what I want but I am still scared and worried.
I have been a SAHM and a WOHM, it always seemed that no matter what I did I was NEVER happy.
When I was a SAHM the financial worries were intense, we were so strapped for cash, we never had money for anything. We only have one vehicle so I was the one without (Dh's commute is over an hour one way), I never went out, all of my friends are WOHM's so I found I really had nothing to relate to them. I was lonely, broke, worried and sad...
Now I look like I have it all, 2 boys (ages 1 year and 3 years), I own my own business (dog groomer in a very busy, upscale salon in another town), I am home by 4pm or 5pm everyday...BUT once again miserable. My house is mess, not just little mess we are talking dirty, cluttered, embarrassing mess. We have more wiggle room for money but the shop has its ups and downs for cash flow. Babysitting is exteemely expensive, the rent for the shop is high...the worst?
I feel like I have missed my 1 year olds life. From the day he was born I have been working, I was part time when he was 2 days old, back full time when he was 11 weeks. Even though I get home by 4 or 5 I still have paper work, and such to do.
I am on vacation for a couple of days and I have spent today doing something I have not done in a very long time and never with this baby, he is carnky and teething today so I have done nothing but cater to him and hold him and cuddle him, all he really wants.
I feel like a rotten mother cause my 3 year old is not potty trained, but I am not home enough for me to do it. My job is so physical that I am extemely exhausted by the end of the day.
We have mountain of debt (all student loans less then $2000 in credit card) so this is why I am back working FT...
So after all this I have decided to open a shop in our home, I didn't the first time cause we were denied for zoning by one neighbour (he has passed away since), so we will probably get it.
I will work hard to build the home business, I already have asmall clientelle that live in this area and will happily bring their dogs to me at a closer location.
I am selling my salon in the other town, in some ways I feel sad cause I put EVERYTHING into that shop.
But I started weighing some options.
The home shop has some great bonuse: no rent, no babysitting if I book dogs while DH is home, no worries about parking.
The big issue, if I can build a business now I can do it again when my kids are grown and gone. But I can't rock my babies forever.
We still want a large family and this is important to us.
Selling that shop will pay off a huge amount of our debt.
I started looking at buying a second hand van and it looks like it will be a possibility and feasible.
I think the interaction with customers will help witht he lonliness issue.
I have been going to Weight Watchers which I love every week and I may do some competing with one of my dogs, so I will not run into that lonely issue again.
I am excited about going back to being a SAHM and also dipping my fingers into (dog hair, lol) being a WAHM too.


It sounds like you have alot on your plate, and have been weighing the pros and cons of both.