Classified ad to start playgroup?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
Classified ad to start playgroup?
5
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 7:38pm
I'm looking to make some new friends. I'm living around the same place I grew up, but all but 3 people from high school do I talk to. One is married (barely), the other two aren't, and none have kids. I'm shy and not good at meeting new people. I do things with DS such as, go to the YMCA, play in the park, preschool reading time at library, etc., but I just can't make friends with people.

SO....my question is....how do I make friends? I had the (dumb) idea to place a classified ad to possibly start a playgroup. Would go something like this: "Stay-at-home mom of 20 month old son, interested in starting playgroup. If interested please call

(XXX)XXX-XXXX." What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 9:12pm
I think it would be more effective to contact your local chapter of the Moms club. It is a great organization fot stay at home moms and they have playgroups and different activities during the week in many different cities and towns. You could try attending a meeting and go from there. Their web site is: www.momsclub.com

Good luck!

Avatar for lori_mcbride
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 9:35pm

Not a bad idea, but you have to worry about the wackos out there...especially considering you're bringing your baby into the picture.

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having a baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 6:28pm
And if there isn't a MOM's club near you, there might be a chapter of Mothers and More, a similar organization.

You can also do a google search to see if something similar already exists. In my area, there's a local message board on MSN Groups. While it doesn't completely eliminate the wacko factor, you casn at least get to know people through their posts before you meet IRL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 2:39pm
btdt, being a new sahm can get verrrryy lonely. but as a few others have suggested, you may get some weirdos in response to a classified. when my daughter was about 2 i was in your shoes and going out of my mind with the tedium and isolation, so what i did was put up flyers at the places a lot of young mothers frequented (library. laundromat, grocery store etc) saying something to the effect of: "would you like to meet other young moms? would you enjoy the company of someone over 4? are you having trouble finding moms you have something in common with? then come to the Riveridge park on sunday feb 5th for a young moms' get together! bring your baby, some snacks, and your personality, and lets get to know one another!"

honestly, about 30 moms showed up, and we had a blast!! alot of them were in the same boat as i was, lonely, young, and sahm, and we hit it off. i exchanged #'s with about 10 or 15 of them, and we became a loose playgroup, we didn't meet once a week or anything, but we got together when we could. i became pretty close friends with 4 of them, and very close friends with one. many of the moms present made friends with the other moms, so it was a great experience for everyone.

if you do it this way it's not so much pressure, and if someone doesn't like you there's no awkwardness, kwim? btw, since you said you were shy this might be a great idea for you, you wouldn't even have to tell anyone that you were the one who put up the flyers if you didn't want to.

anyway, that was my thought,

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:15pm
I'll be the voice of rampant paranoia, (it's not a difficult leap for me) and say that I would be very very careful with a classified ad. Try a Mom's Club, or call a couple local churches (a lot of them have established play groups and mommy's meetings), even try asking the YWCA or the local branch of the United Way if they know of any groups. If these things don't work, then maybe look at flyers or an ad, but use common sense and caution. Most importantly DO NOT make the first meeting in your home. You don't want to "invite trouble in the front door" so to speak. Even if some of the potential respondants to the ad aren't "weirdos", they may simply be someone you don't feel comfortable or drawn to having future meetings with. If they have your home address and phone number, that could be awkward.

I've been home for 7 years now full time with 3 boys. It can be incredibly lonely sometimes (It's amazing how quiet the house is at nap time--almost so quiet you start wishing the kids would wake up. Almost.) I realized after the first couple years that rather that look for stimulation outside, which is always a little less reliable, I needed to find it inside. I went through a couple different "hobbies" before I found a couple that I fell in love with (stained glass work and writing)--and can actually make a little side money with too. I realized that I needed something that reminded me that I'm a grown up person, with talents and abilities outside of the kids. Now, when I do get a chance to meet with friends, I feel like I'm bringing more to the relationship that just an exhausted attention starved me lol! It's easier to make friends when you're feeling better about yourself... Maybe consider taking a night class in something you think you'd enjoy--you'll come away with something new to do, plus you're bound to meet new people who may be in much the same boat as you.

Good luck, and remember you're not "dumb" for feeling a little lost--you're just a regular normal human, like all of us.

Angela