Constantly Fighting Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Constantly Fighting Kids
5
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 6:30pm

I am so sick of my sons' fighting!! As soon as they get home from school in the afternoon it starts. They can play nicely for maybe 5 minutes before they begin arguing, calling each other names, and fighting, and then they get into it physically. Is that a boy thing?? They are so physical with each other: wrestling, jumping on each other, rolling around, etc. Matthew (age 7.5) will trip Justin (age 4.5) by sticking his leg out when Justin is not doing *anything* to him. This gets Matthew a Time Out, of course. He's constantly making Justin cry. He tells him scary stuff, like the police are going to take him to jail if he doesn't let Matthew have the controller to the PS2, or whatever.

Justin, on the other hand, is not Mr Angelic. He messes up Matthew's intricate structures that he's built out of Leggos. He'll just walk in and take Matthew's toys while Matthew's playing (and Yes, I've been over it 100 times that you don't snatch, when someone else is using it you don't take it, etc). So then Matthew clobbers him and makes him cry.

Justin also fights with his sisters. Tessa and Jenna (2.5) want to keep up with Justin, and Justin yells at them, has been known to hit them, and can be mean to them, too.

And then the girls have started fighting with each other. Not much, but they'll both want the same toy and pull on it between them, and scream (and MAN can they scream!! Is that a girl thing??). They are now getting old enough to have conflict between them. They are pretty "in sync" with each other, being identical twins. They copy each other, and one can't do anything without the other. They hate to even be in a room without their sister, but they also have begun to fight.

I am just so SICK of the fighting! And I'm alone with them this evening because my DH called at 5 PM, no less, that he'd finished seeing patients, but was going to his office to do paperwork that he needs to finish up, since we're going on vacation. I had already made him dinner, and hate to be told at the last minute, so I'm venting about him, too right now! Maybe if Michael and I fight, the kids will stop fighting, LOL!

Is there something wrong with me as a Mom, or us as parents that our kids fight so much? Is this normal? I recall fighting with my sisters and brother, but I don't know if we did it this much. I'm wondering if my kids have some kind of problem here. Don't get me wrong, sometimes they play nicely together, but it seems lately they have been fighting more than anything else--especially Matthew & Justin. Michael & I don't fight that much, and when we do, we almost never do it in front of the kids, so they didn't learn it from us!!

As I type this at the kitchen desk, they are in the morning room eating dinner, and fighting over whether or not Justin has the stamina to stay awake late with his cousins on vacation. . . Hello?? WHO CARES?! ::SIGH::

I think I should start screaming at Michael the minute he walks in the door, and shock my kids into silence, and then turn to them and say "See? Do you like listening to other people fight??" But then, Michael would drop dead of shock too.

Sofia




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 6:58pm

I feel for ya... my girls fight like cats and dogs. I usually end up putting BOTH of them in time out.

Now my brothers, they could top anyone... in addition to fighting constantly (literally trying to SEVERELY hurt each other), they were little brats.

Let's see... there was the time that they threw wet toilet paper on the bathroom ceiling; put glue in their bedroom carpet and threw sand in the window from the sandbox; had banana fights in the kitchen; jello fights in the kitchen; threw the laundry (that they were supposed to be folding) up on the ceiling fan and turned it on to watch it fly off; hung my youngest brother on the neighbor's doorknob by his underwear, rang the doorbell and ran off; poured an entire bottle of dawn dishwashing soap on the kitchen floor and slid around on their butts; told my youngest brother that Nair was actually soap and made him take all the hair off of his arm; dug a 6 foot deep hole in the backyard (we lived in a subdivision); unwrapped all the Christmas presents during the night, played with them, then rewrapped them; shaved the dog to look like a lion with a mane; and that's just a drop in the bucket...

Mom's most used expression was "It doesn't matter who starts it, I'll finish it... period"

I find myself using that one quite frequently myself LOL.

One thing that I've found works, is to literally unplug the TV. You might try it for a day and see what happens.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 7:05pm
OMG Desiree thats so funny! my sister and I fought and got into trouble but not like that lol.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 7:55pm

I hear ya, Sofia! My girls fight over stuff all the time, and most of the time it is really DUMB stuff - like who gets on the bus first. WHO CARES!!?? Hugs - I'm sorry to say, they keep doing it. I find that if they are fighting, I make them stand in a really boring place in the house, and look at each other. It usually get them to say sorry and start laughing within minutes.

Hugs,
Wendy

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Registered: 01-31-2006
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 7:43am

OMG, Sofia, I can SO relate. Fortunately I only have 1 boy so it doesn't get too physical. They are really good about not hitting each other. The boy is the king of intimidation, however, and has the angry growl down to perfection. He manages to scare Jenny into a high-pitched-throw-your-mom-into-a-coronary scream, which in turn gets them both into trouble. There current fights are usually over one certain chair in the family room. I have to set timers and make them rotate sitting there. It's so ridiculous. We have a danged 56 inch TV!!! It doesn't matter where you sit! The daggoned neighbors across the street can watch the thing through their windows and see it perfectly! WHY do they HAVE to sit in THAT chair?!?!?!? The answer is to make me crazy, of course.

Desiree, your account of you brothers' behavior is cracking me up! Sounds like it was fun to watch, even if it drove your mom crazy. Had to tell the kids about the haning the brother on the doorknob by his underwear story. They thought it was hillarious.

Wendy, I LOVE the standing the kids in a boring place facing each other dicipline! I'll be using that one!

Erin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 9:11am
My mom did something similar to Wendy when we fought. She would sit us at the table across from each other and we had to stare at each other and not say a word, pretty soon we would be falling out of our chairs from the laughter. I guess I have been lucky my kids have never really fought much

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