curious for much needed feedback
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curious for much needed feedback
| Thu, 10-20-2005 - 12:58pm |
Hello! I just found this board (post frequently on other boards here at ivillage).
I am really seeking some feedback from stay at home moms. Here is my situation. I have a delightful high energy 3 year old and am also 3.5 months PG. I am a "work from home mom". It is absolutely necessary for me to work right now due to financial reasons, yet because of my strong feelings about parenting it is also absolutely necessary for me to be a "stay at home mom". I kind of have the best of both worlds. I teach private music 2 days a week from home. A sweet homeschooler comes one full day to babysit and a highschooler comes after school on the 2nd day. My daughter LOVES them and has a blast with them. I also teach 5 hours of music a week at a local preschool and my dd goes to the school then. I also do PT collections from home when I have downtime...a rare nap my dd takes, during her favorite tv show, when daddy is home, sometimes she will color at my side on a table or play with her toys.
I spend a ton of time with her. We play, go to fun places for her, attend a playgroup when we find something on the calendar during my off work time, visit relatives/cousins/friends, etc. She has a full life but is really wanting so much more of my attention and is pretty demanding of it. She gets so jealous if I talk to anyone else. I know a lot of this is typical 3 year old behavior. She is definately a 1 on 1 child. Does anyone have any feedback on our situation? I feel a bit guilty for having to do this work but can't cut back my hours. Am I being fair to her?
Guilty mom,
Susan
I am really seeking some feedback from stay at home moms. Here is my situation. I have a delightful high energy 3 year old and am also 3.5 months PG. I am a "work from home mom". It is absolutely necessary for me to work right now due to financial reasons, yet because of my strong feelings about parenting it is also absolutely necessary for me to be a "stay at home mom". I kind of have the best of both worlds. I teach private music 2 days a week from home. A sweet homeschooler comes one full day to babysit and a highschooler comes after school on the 2nd day. My daughter LOVES them and has a blast with them. I also teach 5 hours of music a week at a local preschool and my dd goes to the school then. I also do PT collections from home when I have downtime...a rare nap my dd takes, during her favorite tv show, when daddy is home, sometimes she will color at my side on a table or play with her toys.
I spend a ton of time with her. We play, go to fun places for her, attend a playgroup when we find something on the calendar during my off work time, visit relatives/cousins/friends, etc. She has a full life but is really wanting so much more of my attention and is pretty demanding of it. She gets so jealous if I talk to anyone else. I know a lot of this is typical 3 year old behavior. She is definately a 1 on 1 child. Does anyone have any feedback on our situation? I feel a bit guilty for having to do this work but can't cut back my hours. Am I being fair to her?
Guilty mom,
Susan

Susan, I'd say that is pretty typical for a 3 year old, but you could have a problem if she's still like that when the baby comes. My oldest was like that, and she was very jealous when my second was born (to the point of biting her). Reflecting on my situation, I'd say the best thing you can do would be to teach her to play independently.
I definitely wouldn't feel guilty... it sounds like you spend plenty of time with her and you make sure she knows she is loved.
sorry I'm not much help! LOL
best wishes :o)
That is great advice. She is very excited about being a big sister and wants to help out a bunch with the baby, but she doesn't have any idea about how much time they take. I'm trying to keep fresh ideas about how to "balance" it so she doesn't feel left out, but it has even been an issue with me and my hubby/her daddy. She gets upset if we talk, so we have been reinforcing that mommy and daddy need time, too, and that includes talking when she listens or plays. It doesn't work out a lot but she is getting the picture.
I have even thought of a part time opear (sp?), you know, those part time nannys that help out all day long? I wouldn't want a full time/live in one bc I NEVER want someone to replace me! But, it would allow her to feel "special" and not have 2 different babysitters and 2 different classes at preschool (she has to go in one room on one day and another room another day, even though it is 5 hours total per week). I fear that there are too many PT playmates/babysitters for her and maybe streamlining it into one would be much better.
Bumping up for more feedback?
Sincerely Susan