Did I do the wrong thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Did I do the wrong thing?
8
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 6:39pm
Ok, I hope I didnt really mess up this time. My husband's friend, let's call him Dave, is doing everything to his wife that Mike has done to me. He keeps leaving her, etc...Him and Mike hang out a lot, to much if you ask me, and they both did this together. Anyway, he keeps telling his wife like on a Friday, he will be gone for the weekend, and she's getting fed up, it has been happened for wayyy too long. One night she called me at 11:30 looking for him driving around and she was wondering if I knew where they hung out. SO, last Friday I saw Dave driving around town with another woman. I followed him so I could get a close look at this girl and make sure it wasnt his wife. It wasn't his wife. I called his wife and I just said I saw him driving with another woman, it might've been business, but I wanted to let her know. In my opinion it didnt "look" like business, it was suspicious, but I didnt tell her this. I know from personal experience how hurt you feel when someone comes to you with this news. Anyway, she thanked me and said she appreciated it. Now, my husband said tonight he was helping his friend, Dave, move some things out of his house! I havent heard from Dave's wife in a week now...and I feel bad if I started something, I hope she doesnt hate me. DO you guys think I did something wrong?? I mean, if it were me, I would want to know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 7:07pm

I think that because he's been leaving and she is already suspisious, and things between them are bad, its good that you told her. If she thought life was rosey and had NO IDEA that trouble was brewing then I wouldn't suggest telling her (also, depends on how close you are kwim?)


I think you did the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 7:55pm

I think you did the right thing. I would want someone to tell me if it were happening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 8:15pm
I don't think so, if so, better to have said something, then nothing at all.
Maybe the reason he is moving out is because you were right.
Call her up and ask...........

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 8:32pm

I agree, you absolutely did the right thing. If he was doing nothing wrong- then there would have been a reasonable explanation. Generally people who suspect infidelity are correct in their suspicions. Maybe she needed another more objective person to confirm what she already knew in her heart.

Tina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 8:53am
I think you did the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 9:53am

Kate, it sounds to me like she already had a clue, you were only confirming what she knew, which could've actually been a big help. I can imagine how wanting to know the truth when you have suspicions could make you crazy. I don't think you did anything wrong. And if it was innocent, chances are he wouldn't be moving out of his house.

Erin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 3:42pm

(((Kate))) I would *so* want to know if it were me! I think you did her a favor. Don't feel guilty. She's the one who pretty much asked you what he was up to, and you were just informing her.

Sounds like her DH and yours are in kahoots. I'm so sorry. All this is such a major drag for you. I think you're doing just great!!

If I were her, I'd send you a thank you note for revealing the truth.

Hugs to you,

Sofia




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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 7:29pm
I think you did right.
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