Discipline
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| Wed, 06-01-2005 - 11:32am |
Hello everyone...I've been gone awhile, but I have a question for you all. My ds just turned 1 year old. I have asked many a friend about when they began to use "time out" or whatever method of discipline they used. Many said they swatted their babies on the leg or arm even before they turned 1 and that it worked. I still think he's too young to do that and I think I'd feel like a monster if I did it...however, I was spanked, my dh was spanked..not all the time and never as a beating, of course, but when we were putting ourselves or others in danger or when we had just done something over and over and over and our parents had that as a last resort...that's when we got a spanking on the bottom.
I have begun to implement some discipline when my ds has a tantrum or starts to scream when there is nothing wrong with him...he is just programmed by me, unfortunately, that if he screams, I come to his rescue. I guess I've instilled negative reinforcement in him...so he's learned this from me. Now I have to break this habit. I see a counselor for what I thought was postpartum depression (now I think it's just being lonely and having no family or real friends around to help me with a baby and losing adult interaction altogether) and he says that it takes about a month to break a habit and that I SHOULD begin to use the ignore when he is screaming thing and to tell him "DS, you may not scream, and if you keep screaming, you are going to spend some time alone." Not cruel, not yelling, not mean sounding, just matter of factly. Sometimes, lo and behold, it works and he stops...I've been doing this about 3 weeks now. Sometimes, like today, he continues and I have to actually put him in his crib and tell him, when you stop screaming, I'll come and get you. So he's up there right now..it's been almost 30 minutes..and it's like pure torture, but it's MORE of a torture to be in the same room with it and I feel I will not be teaching him what's acceptable and what's not if I don't start to do SOMETHING different.
Do you feel he's too young for this method? Did you do this with your own and when? Did anyone spank this early or pop your baby on the leg when it got to the point that nothing else seemed to work?
I have tried very hard to stick to all the "expert" books like What to Expect and another very professional book, but I've come to the conclusion that they are for parents with the perfect child and that the methods they have in there are for the ideal situation, not real life. I basically almost threw them out several times. I think asking real people with real children is the best way to find out what might work that I haven't thought of yet. I know he's different than everyone else's children in many ways, but when it comes to discipline, there are only so many things you can do with a 1 year old. So help is appreciated.
Ok, I think he's stopped screaming...I'm off to get him now.
Thanks, Debbie

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I know this is a touchy subject, but just one more thing and that's it for me. I don't call it hitting because when a parent does it, it is not hitting, it is spanking (dicipline) Just had to throw that in. We all have our beliefs. I would never "hit" my child.
-Robin
I can't believe I almost have a teenager!

Your sweet angel sister Caitlin is watching you grow, Megan!

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