Doing whats right for us without feeling

Avatar for swishyfishies
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Doing whats right for us without feeling
6
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:55pm
guilty. Hi I'm new to the board. Our 1st is 14 months old and I'm 14 wks with our 2nd and last. I've been a SAHM since I had our daughter but I have been working on my associates in Management too. I'm 3 classes from finishing and should finish before I have this baby in November. But I'm burnt out with school and feeling like I could care less when I start my Bachelors. I want to say the heck with school and be a SAHM till this 2nd one is a year old & they can both just go to daycare so I can go back to work. I know someone in my family is going to say "well you should still be working on college in the mean time." But to me its hard with 1 kid at home and I know it'll be harder with 2 calling me all the time. How do you all just tune them out and not feel guily or like your not being productive enough? I say for the next 10 yrs I'll be happy with an associates then once I feel its time I'll start my bachelors maybe. what do you think?

Lianne

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 7:39pm
AT THE VERY LEAST, you should finish your associates degree. Once you get that degree, you will be able to "keep" those credits you took and never loose them. If you don't get the degree now, you may loose the credits you took in a few years. With the AA, if you do decide to go back in 5 years, you can start as a junior. Without the AA, in five years you may have to retake classes that have expired.

As for the bachelor's degree...well...it really is up to you. I hold education in the highest regard and feel that even a SAHM should have a degree in something. And an associates degree is a degree.

You do have to do what is best for your family, no argument. The thing is that when you think of what is best for your family, you need to remember that the long term view is important also. I can tell you that statistically, if you stop going now the chance that you will actually go back is very very small.

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Registered: 02-20-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 7:52am
Lianne,

I know it's hard going to school with children! I am working on my master's with a 16 mo old constantly wanting my attention, but it is well worth it. Once you are done you will feel better about yourself and you won't have to dread going back either.

I have 2 more years to go for my graduate degree and I even have to take a couple classes each summer too. It's better to get it done. I don't know what you want to do with the degree, but you should make more money after you finish also. Think about going to the mall at lunch time and being able to pick yourself up something nice without having to feel guilty about it.

A lot of times I feel bad for "ignoring" my son while I am doing school work, but I am still home with him and I do break away and care for his needs and play with him. I try to do a majority of the work while he's napping. I do agree that it will be harder with 2 kids running around. That's why my dh and I don't plan on having another until I am almost done with school (probably get preg during the end of last semester and have it after I graduate). As long as there are no accidents. Good luck! Just remember, it will be harder to go back once you quit!

Tanya

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anonymous user
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 2:45am
Swishy..I don't know what to say. I don't have any babies at home. My girls are 16, 13 and 10. I do want to go to school to get a degree in Cooking. And maybe Business Management. But I don't know yet. I just went to get my GED and I didn't want to take the classes. So I took a predictor test. I passed high. The passing score was 2210 and I got a 2420. If I didn't passed it, I would've had to take classes which I truly don't want to do.

So, I'm waiting for them to call me for my GED testing. After that, I will pursue cooking/baking classes.

I know it's tough for you because your little ones are small. But you know what, we got to do what we got to do. Follow your heart.

I was a stay-at-home mom with all my babies. But thats a long story.

Good luck on whatever you decide just try not to burn out yourself. Remember now.....whatever you do each day is considered as MAKING MEMORIES!!!

Avatar for swishyfishies
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 9:26am
Thanks,

Cooking classes sounds great, I'd love to do that too.

Lianne

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:02am

***How do you all just tune them out and not feel guily or like your not being productive enough?***


I feel that raising my children is the most productive and important thing that I could be doing... That makes it easy to tune out anyone who thinks otherwise. :)


My advice as for your college situation? If you want to be a SAHM, be a SAHM and tell everyone else where they can stick their opinions. IMO it's better to hold off on those last three classes until you're ready to get into the workforce (I'm not going to until my kids are out of the house, but that's me... Of course, we're also homeschooling, so...) The reason being- employers will see a lapse between when you graduated and when you are applying for jobs- it's far better for getting the job to see someone who just graduated than it is to see someone who graduated a year or so ago and is just starting to apply.... Just MHO, but that's what I'd do- hold off until you're actually ready to go back to work. Do you *want* to get a job after that year, or do you feel pressured into doing it because of other people's opinions, or do you *have* to work to maintain financial stability? Just curious... Because again- there is absolutely nothing wrong with being at home with your children. Good luck with whatever you end up doing! :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 6:57pm
I think you have to do what you feel is the best for you. I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years. I know have three bio children and two sds. I have a degree and swore I would get my masters and all of a sudden it wasn't importantbut I still will beable to get it when the time is right for me...Good luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!