Embarrased to ask...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Embarrased to ask...
17
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 4:31am
Hi, I'm Kelsy, and I have a 2 year old daughter, and a baby boy on the way (3 months left). I have been reading about circumcision on different boards but they always seem to be debating and I hate that...so I was hoping I could ask you moms for your input on what you did?

1. Did you circumcise your son(s)?

2. What was the deciding factor? Other sons, father, doctor?

3. I've been reading lately of different types of circumcisions that can be done - where the skin is completely removed, some where there is a little or a lot left. Could I ask what your son's is like and if you think there's a one best way?

4. If you didn't circumcise your son, how is dealing with the foreskin? Trouble, or no problem?

Thank you so much for your input. I wanted to get the feedback of real ladies instead of a bunch of propaganda and arguing. Besides I've been reading comments on this site and I really appreciate the way everyone treats each other and tries to give as much wisdom as possible...good for you!

Kelsy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:24am
Hi Kelsy

I was in the same situation as you when i was pregnant. We didn't know what we were going to have though until Joey was born. So the decision was made a day after he was born. However, i have to be honest, i was horrified when i saw video's on how to take care of a baby boy, when changing his diaper, who has been circumcised. I thought to myself... "That poor little baby having that huge cut on his little man part!"

I didn't want him to be circumcised because i didn't want him to be in any pain. My hubby is not circumcised and opted for him to be. I went with his desicion to go ahead with it. I figured, he's a man he knows what's best. lol. It was tough for me to change the diapers because i was affriad of hurting him. however if you think about it... babies aren't given any thing for pain while that is being done. So i thought it wouldn't be that bad for him.

If you do decide to go with it, make sure you follow the nurses/doctors orders on how to handle it TO THE T. We put a HUGE glob of petrolleum jelly on a 2"x2" peice of gauze then placed it on his penis.. then the diaper of course. It healed in about 2-3 weeks and it's been fine ever since.

I'm glad we did it. because with the way he moves all around when i'm trying to change his diaper and clean that little area i don't see how anyone could be patient enough to pull the skin back and clean it especially at this age (he's 8 months now).

As far as what type of circumcision he had... i didn't know there were different ones! lol but this is what it looks like... the head is fully exposed and there is still loose skin on the rest of it.

hope that helps!

~Amanda~

wife to Johnny 3/15/03

mommy to Joey 2/17/04

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 9:06am

1. Did you circumcise your son(s)?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:09am
I had my son circumcised for a few reasons. One, I know it's cleaner. Two, his father is circumcised, and I feel they should be the same. Three, my mom told me my dad is not circumcised and it's kind of a pain.

The nurses in the hospital told me that they completely numbed the area, and that the numbing lasted a few days. I have been around a lot of circumcised newborns that I could tell they felt pain, but as far as I could tell, my son did not. I didn't have to do anything to my son's circumcision as far as care. It's a new technique where is this little plastic round ring around the tip that falls off eventually. It was no trouble at all. Just one day in the tub it fell off. We were told not to put anything on it. I guess it depends on the hospital. I believe it is called the plastibell (the ring.) Ask your doctor about it. My nephews had to have gauze and petroleum jelly, and it's a pain, as I'm sure the other mothers here can attest. This plastibell was so much easier!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 1:08pm

My Dh and I decided to circumsize our two boys for several reason. First my Dh is circumsized and second my Dh as a man feels it is much cleaner. Did you know you have to be circumsized to enter the military? I can imagine it is much worse having to do it as an adult then as a baby.


I have read research that also suggests that boys have a better chance of getting infections if not circumsized.


Another reason is that more boys are circumsized as not...imagine being in the football locker room and you are the only "different" one.


When my boys were circumsized they both cried for maybe a few seconds they applied a local anastetic(sp?) and put a sugar pacifier in their mouth. I swear I truly beleive it is not the procedure they cry from, I beleive it is from being held down or restrained temporarily. As soon as the procedure was over I breastfeed them and they went right to sleep.


I would also recommend that you and Dh do not hang around the area it is being done. Just let the pros do their job, it takes maybe 10 minutes anyway!


Good luck whatever you decide.

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Avatar for jennyberm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:14pm
I chose not to have my son circumcised because I felt like it was unneccessary surgery. I feel that too many things now are done because "well, that's what everybody else does" and I don't think that surgery, however minor, should be taken that lightly. Along the same lines, sort of, I'm restraining myself about piercing my daughter's ears. Yes, I think it would look adorable, but they are HER ears and not mine to alter. KWIM?

We have not had any problems at all with it. I do nothing special to clean it. It takes care of itself - that's what the foreskin is supposed to do. Once, he had a really bad diaper rash and the foreskin got red and swelled up a bit and I was really worried until I found out that it was just swelling to keep any infection out of the urinary tract. So, if he HAD been circumcised, he probably would've ended up with a UTI.

JMHO. GL with your decision.

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:18pm
My son is NOT circumsized. I believe it is unnecissary cosmetic surgery -plain and simple.

1. Did you circumcise your son(s)? NO!!! NEVER would even consider it!

2. What was the deciding factor? Other sons, father, doctor? Lots of factors - basically it is just not necissary, there are NO health benefits to doing it, so why? So they are "like everyone else"? That just doesn't hold water with me - if my kids were born with a large nose, ears that stuck out too far, etc. I wouldn't send them off the plastic surgeon at one week old. If my teenager dd had smaller breats than her friends would I sent her off for implants so she wouldn't feel "different"? Heck no. I believe in teaching my children they do not need to be "like everyone else" to be popular or accepted. If so and so jumped off a bridge, would you? I think to circumsize for this reason only is teaching kids - yep, jump off a bridge just cuz your friend does so you don't feel left out! I also don't believe in the guy making the decision alone, it was BOTH of our child, I researched and learned about it, I didn't stand back and say "penis issues, you decided honey" I wouldn't do that with any part of my son's life, why with surgery? Bottom line, penis' were meant to have foreskin - god, evolution, whatever you believe in put it there for a reason. Who are we to mess with that? Research the history of WHY circumcision started in the first place. Cleanliness - sure when people bathed in rivers that animals deficated in and only about once a month it may have been a issue, then it continued to deprive men of sexual pleasure. The foreskin is very important to the sexual experience.

3. I've been reading lately of different types of circumcisions that can be done - where the skin is completely removed, some where there is a little or a lot left. Could I ask what your son's is like and if you think there's a one best way? N/A

4. If you didn't circumcise your son, how is dealing with the foreskin? Trouble, or no problem? No prolem dealing with it at all. Children have to be taught to brush their teeth, wash their hair, etc. Foreskin is the same, once is starts to seperate ON ITS OWN - could be as late as 8 yrs old (it should NEVER be forced) Then it needs to be pulled back a little and washed when they shower. Men wash the surface of a circumsized penis too, it literally takes less than 1 second more to pull back the skin first. No biggie, he is now 7 and he does this all on his own.

I am in southern CA and my area is about 80% hispanic (we aren't) Its not traditional in the hispanic culture to have it done, so most kids in our area are not. About 70% percent are NOT circumsized here. The national average right now is 50/50, so either way he won't be the "only" one. And if you look at the world internationally? NO other country routinely circumsizes!!! Also most insurance does not cover it anymore since it is considered "elective" and a lot of peds (in my area anyways) don't do it anymore.

Since my son is now 7, we have had discussions about it with him at various points. My dh IS circumsized (since parents weren't even given information to make their own decisions 30 yrs ago) So it has come up that daddy is different. The explanation was simple - "way back when daddy was born dr's used to think it was needed to cut off a part of boys bodies. Now we know that it isn't necissary". He was fine with that. Its just appendixes and tonsils - in the 40s-50s used to be EVERYONE got them out - both my parents and inlaws had them out for no real reason other than "everyone does". Now we wouldn't dream doing it for no reason.

I would never take a knife to my daughters sexual organs, why my sons?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:31pm
Just wanted to point out a common misconception here... no one should EVER forcibly retract the foreskin on a child. Never, ever. Not a parent, not a doctor, no one. The foreskin will retract on it's own during puberty (or during the 3 yr old phase of constantly playing with themself!! *blush*). There is no reason to pull it back for "cleaning" and doing so could actually result in infection. I think this is where the other common misconception comes in... uncircumcised children don't get more infections unless the area is overcleaned. Forcibly retracting the foreskin to "clean" just removes the natural antibacterial agents and irritates the area.

I hope I don't sound like I'm debating here. I just wanted to dispell a few possibly dangerous myths.

Jenny

Proud Mommy to Cameron (8/4/01) and

Cassia (7/15/03)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:13pm
Well, I am Jewish so this was a non-issue to us. My son was circumsized.

But I did want to add a few things. The research on both sides show completely different things. Taken as a whole, I tend to think each ones positives and negatives kinda balance each other out. I am only talking about any consequences the boy would have medically. And yes, there are studies that show a man who has had circumisism has less chance of having penile cancer and other things.

As for the social consequences, I find it important to consider those. While we all don't want little clones, our children have to live in this society. And kids can be cruel, I think we all know this. Thinking of the future problems the child may have in his social life is just as important as taking into count the medical ones.

And just to add, we are the parents. It is up to us to make these decisions. I have found that the "Lets wait to see what the child wants" approach backfires many times...whether it be religion or this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:25pm

*And yes, there are studies that show a man who has had circumisism has less chance of having penile cancer and other things. *


Thank you for adding this point. I had thought about it and realized later that I wanted to add this. Just for information sake when making this descision this is something else to consider.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:29pm
No, Miguel remained the same way he was born. ;-)

After tons of research, we did not find any good argument for doing it, so we didn't. All the reasons seemed more peer pressure than anything else, and that's pointless. We don't have religious reasons to do it (which I completely understand. If we were Jewish, you betcha he'd be circumcised.) Preston, my DH, was completely against unnecessary surgery, so that was that.

~ Maria

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