Embarrased to ask...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Embarrased to ask...
17
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 4:31am
Hi, I'm Kelsy, and I have a 2 year old daughter, and a baby boy on the way (3 months left). I have been reading about circumcision on different boards but they always seem to be debating and I hate that...so I was hoping I could ask you moms for your input on what you did?

1. Did you circumcise your son(s)?

2. What was the deciding factor? Other sons, father, doctor?

3. I've been reading lately of different types of circumcisions that can be done - where the skin is completely removed, some where there is a little or a lot left. Could I ask what your son's is like and if you think there's a one best way?

4. If you didn't circumcise your son, how is dealing with the foreskin? Trouble, or no problem?

Thank you so much for your input. I wanted to get the feedback of real ladies instead of a bunch of propaganda and arguing. Besides I've been reading comments on this site and I really appreciate the way everyone treats each other and tries to give as much wisdom as possible...good for you!

Kelsy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:40pm
I did circumcise both sons. The deciding factors included hygiene, family and doctor influence, and some research. A little remaining skin was left on both boys as they were circumcised using a plastibell which tends to leave a little moveable skin. The glans of their penises are always uncovered, but there is a little bunching up of skin just behind it. I've seen my oldest actually pull the skin right over the glans covering it completely. Then the skin slid up behind the glans again when he let go. Also, both boys had their frenulum left intact (the ridge of skin under the penis head that connects the foreskin to the glans). I've been told that a boy's circumcision will be looser if it's left intact.

Kara

Avatar for anprdp
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 12:07am
This whole decision is a very personal and hot topic: Circumsion is done for many many reasons. Not just peer reasons. For starters , studies indicate that yes circumsized does have its benefits some of which are listed here http://www.circumcisioninfo.com/circ_benefits.html

Another factor that I have encountered that doesn't play an important role now but in their future is that studies have also proven that women who have sex with men who are uncircumsized have a higher chance of getting many more vaginal infections such as yeast and bacterial. http://www.well-net.com/STD/monilia.html

Children tend to wanna be like the same sex member in their household (i.e. Daddy) This plays a major part in circumsion of many boys. Just like children tend to learn better from the same sex parent while potty training, boys tend to understand their bodies better from a parent with the same features as them.

These are just a few reasons why this happens. No parent is wrong in any decision they make regarding this. Opinions are like well you know so therefore its your baby and your responsibilty. The baby is given some ample pain medications for the procedure and most of the screaming comes from being restrained during the procedure. The easiest way to deal with the circumsized male is to see if your ob/gyn will do a PlastiBell for you. This little wonder makes the whole "afterward part" seem less awkward. You don't have to clean it or doctor it in any way. After the wound is healed, the PlastiBell will fall off by itself and you simply throw it out with the diaper. If you still feel uneasy about making this decision, talk it over with your future pediatrician and your ob/gyn. Just be sure to remember this is your decision, and there is no right or wrong. It's just like breastfeeding. It's your option to make your own choices for you child.

Do remember though as mentioned for the uncircumsized male. DO NOT retract the foreskin. Don't let anyone ever do this. Make sure if the baby is at a doctor's appt. you never leave the room and make sure he never does it. The foreskin should only be retracted by the child (when older) to ensure that its only done to his comfort. He will know when to stop, as where others would not. Its important to remember that the foreskin produces whats termed "smegma" and this is actually an oily secretion that is a benefit for the foreskin and should not be cleaned in anyway.

Good luck to you in this endeavor. Baby decisions are always hard to make in the beginning.

Angelia

Mother of 2 boys

Nursing student for L&D




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 6:19pm
Kelsy,

I just found this board and have just started to look around. I have not read all the responses, but I wanted to point out that when I found out I was having a boy I had many of the same questions. I also got frustrated with the debates. I wish I had found the Child with Foreskin board back then... but I didn't find it till recently.

This is NOT a debate board and the parents there are supportive and willing to answer questions that you may have.

I just wanted to pass that site on to you, I feel awkward giving my opinions as I have only been on this board for about 3 minutes, but I did decide to leave my son intact and have no regrets. I was surprised at how misinformed I was about the foreskin (there is no 'special care' required, the foreskin should NOT be retracted by parent or a doctor, it should be left alone).

Here's the link to the Child with Foreskin board:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-ppwithforesk&nav=start

I hope that helps!

Jessica and Joshua (3.29.04)

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Avatar for karlinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:09am
We did not circumcise our DS.

I did a lot of research and decided that is was unnecessary (and cruel, but that's a personal opinion, please no one get mad...she asked for reasons).

Caring for foreskin is as easy as caring for a finger. It requires nothing special...in fact a parent or Dr. should NEVER retract an intact baby boy...it will happen on it's own in time.

Avatar for karlinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:19am
I also wanted to add that it's absolutely not true that a man must be circ'ed to join the military. My BIL was in the AF for years and is intact (according to my sister).

Also, there was only one study done about the penile cancer thing, and the chaces of penile cancer are so small to begin with, the difference is really neglegible (and questionable). Doctors make a lot of money off of circumcisions...and hospitals also make lots of money when they sell the foreskins to medical research and cosmetic companies....so I would take their advice with a grain of salt.

Don't let anyone pressure you on this decision. If you feel a certain way, go with your gut. There is a lot of info out there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 3:44pm
I don't like arguing under the guise of "debate" either. I liked the way you asked your questions regarding circ. My husband and I decided not to circ. our son. My DH is circ. but when we did research we felt that there were no good reasons to circ. My mom told me that very few people in her homeland of Greece are circ'd. It's just not done there unless you're Jewish.

Anyway, we live in the US, I know, so I asked my friends what they did. The ones who did circ, told me they did so for two reasons: b/c their husbands were circ'd and they felt it was cleaner. When we thought about this, the first reason wasn't good enough to convince us, because c'mon, like they're ever going to compare themselves?!?! And the second reason (cleaner) was refuted by the research we had done.

Of the friends I have who didn't circ, two of them have brothers who were not circ'd. (They told me this; I didn't ask.) Now I know this may be weird, but as a mom who wants the very best for her baby boy, I took this next bit of info into consideration. Both of these guys are popular and well-liked by the ladies. Okay, I'm so embarrassed to have typed this, but I DID take it into consideration. Sorry!!!! I don't want to not circ and then hope that my son isn't ridiculed in the future. I wanted proof that it's okay!

In the end, the friends of mine who decided not to circ. were happy with their decision, and the friends of mine who did circ. were also happy with their decision.

If you decide against it, it is comforting to know that less and less people are going with circ. according to our pediatrician anyway. I forgot to even mention him. Our ped. said it was totally unecessary to circ. He's Jewish so he had his three sons circ'd for religious reasons. My OBGYNE showed visible relief when we told him we didn't want to circ. I never asked him his opinion, but I can tell he was happy with our decision.

Good luck with your decision!

--Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 8:25pm
1. No

2. I believe it's unnecessary. It was instituted in Biblical times as a way to distinguish those who were fully committed to God, for the Jews only. It was not extended to the Gentiles.

3. It's fine, healthy, never had trouble. I think intact is best.

4. No trouble.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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