Feeling alone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2005
Feeling alone...
4
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 9:10am
I love staying at home with my beautiful little one. I wouldn't trade it for the world. When she looks at me or reaches for me there is no greater feeling than that. Lately I've just been bored out of my mind. There are only so many dishes one can wash, only so much laundry one can take and only so much cleaning one can do before they start going insane. Don't get me wrong, I had the same feelings when I was working. There were a lot of days that I wanted to ram my head in the wall out of pure boredom. Now that I'm at home, I"m the only one that change the bordem. My little one is 9 months therefore I really would like suggestions on things I can do with her. I also need to make friends with other moms around the area. I'm not originally from here so it's really hard to make friends. I tried the Y, I tried the mom's club and no luck so far. Nobody I really click with. Maybe it's me, I don't know. Any suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
In reply to: giangirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 10:18am

Have you checked out different activities with your baby, like Music Together or storytimes? I found that I met other moms this way - not right away but if you go to the same places regularly, even the playground, and make smalltalk with other moms eventually you get to know people and could suggest getting together for a playdate with the kids, or invite them to your house for a playdate/coffee. I know when my first was little I felt just like you do, and if another mom invited us over for a playdate, even if I didn't know her that well, I jumped at it just to get out of the house and have a change of scenery. Eventually you will click with another few moms and before you know it you will have made friends for both you and your little one.

Music Together, Gymboree and Kindermusik are all good ideas, but can be expensive or not available in your area, so check out your local library for storytimes (ours has special ones just for babies), or your local Y for baby/toddler programs or classes. If there is a coffee place that has toys for kids, go hang out there, they tend to be places moms frequent. Talk to other moms when you see them, you may get ideas for other places to hang out in your area with your little one where you can socialize.

Hang in there - it can be lonely in the beginning but you will soon have friends for both you and your baby to hang out with. Just be friendly and outgoing, and you will find people. Remember, EVERYONE feels this way at some point in time, and other moms are probably looking for friends just like you are.

You said you tried the Y, but keep trying - there are always different people there at ours, so keep going and you may have better luck. If nothing else, you will get out of the house. (Forget about the cleaning and dishes! Your house doesn't need to be spotless. You need to feel good and be happy - that's much more important.).




Edited 3/13/2007 10:24 am ET by golfwidow33
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
In reply to: giangirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 10:28am

Hi there


My daughter is 8 1/2 months old and I know what you mean.

4yrs ttc

2

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: giangirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 10:29am

I remember that feeling of isolation and loneliness when I first started staying home (although I never did dishes and laundry too much, LOL! Domestic Goddess I'm NOT!). I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It has no reflection on your mothering, or your feelings for your baby, or whether or not you should be staying home. It's just a natural reaction to being in the house and alone with an infant all day. We've all BTDT.

Have you tried looking in the classifieds of your *local* paper, or Penny-Pincher paper (or whatever it's called there) for mothers' groups? I had a lot of luck when I joined a Twins' Club after my girls were born. They met once/week for coffee and different speakers, and the kids would play; and then once/month we'd get together for a pot-luck supper or other "mom only" event. I made some great friends who were in the same boat I was.

I never had luck making friends with Little Gym, Gymboree and all that. If anything, you sit and chat for that hour or so, but then you all go your separate ways. But maybe you're more outgoing than I am, and will hook up with other mommies that way.

What about your neighborhood? That's another place I've made friends. And also through my DH's work, we've developed a "couples'" social life.

And there's always church, if you go.

Good luck! And let me say WELCOME to the board. I'm Sofia, SAHM to four little munchkins! This is a great board to meet other SAHMs and share your experiences, happiness and frustrations, and I hope you stick around. We're always here if you get too bored!! :)




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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
In reply to: giangirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 12:30pm
I understand how you feel, I'm in that rut myself lately.

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