Feeling fragile today ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Feeling fragile today ...
6
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:38am


Today I feel so sad ... I got news this weekend that my youngest brother's wife has left him. She doesn't love him anymore and wants to move on with her life - they have 17 month old twin girls that they went the distance on fertility treatments to have - so when did she stop loving him? This morning, I got a phone call from one of my girlfriends who is living overseas. Her husband walked out on her - same reason - doesn't love her anymore. She is living in a foreign country, has two young children and is recovering from breast cancer. What a sh$t!

What is going on with this "I don't love you anymore" stuff. Don't people understand that marriage is not easy and has its ups and downs but most of all requires work. Especially when you have young children! I just feel sad ....

Maybe we should all take a moment today to reflect on how to make our own marriages stronger. I certainly will.

mom2four

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:59am

Thank you for this post, "Maybe we should all take a moment today to reflect on how to make our own marriages stronger. I certainly will. "


I need something to help kick me in the butt.

   

Avatar for my3girls2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:10am
THAT IS SAD AND IT IS WORK,, PEOPLE GIVE UP TOO EAISLY,,
Kim~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 2:10pm
If we're completely honest with ourselves, I think most couples have a time in their marriage when they don't feel "in love", but it's not about that. It's about the commitment that you've made to each other. I learned through some pretty tough times that if we honor that commitment that God can restore the love we think we've lost. My husband is my best friend, and because I've learned to respect him in that manner, it's made it easier to love him unconditionally.

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother & sister in law, and about your friend overseas. I certainly understand after watching my mother tell my dad the same thing a few years ago. My heart goes out to you...

Desiree

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:33pm


Thank you all for your thoughts.

I've been thinking alot today - I realize the reason this sad news hit me so hard is that my husband and I are just coming through a rocky portion of our 7 year marriage. We had three kids in three years because I was 40 and we needed to do it fast. We never understood what that would do to our lives - let alone US! We have a beautiful family, we wouldn't change a thing but we have alot of work to do to regain that part of our marriage that has suffered during the "baby" years.

I love him dearly ... he's a keeper so I plan on it.

mom2four

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:18pm
Your post really stopped and made me think. My previous relationship ended with an "I dont love you anymore" and a 5 year old and newborn. We wernt married (long story), but he walked away from me and our kids after 6 years! Needless to say I met and married a wonderful man where we now have 2 kids together and my two kids he calls his own. Their bio dad only came back into the picture only 1 1/2 years ago! They are 9 and 4 now. I tell my husband I love him all the time and vice versa, but I cant imagine walking out on him after all the hard work a marriage is. My DS was DX with Cancer
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:59pm
My husband and I have been married almost 10 years, and we have 3 sons. We had to go through fertility treatments, too, so I know that it can take a lot out of a relationship--sadly a lot of couples put so much of their time and attention into trying to get pregnant that they forget that in the end, they'll need a love filled home to bring the baby back to--they end up realizing the only thing they had in common any more was the quest to have a baby, and now that's over... I can't imagine going through what we did then having it all fall apart when the race was won, so to speak! I'm sorry that you're feeling sad---it's scary when couples around us seem to be walking on marbles, we start worrying that we could fall down too. A HUGE part of keeping that from happening is being aware of it, and knowing that you have to appreciate one another---so you're ahead of the game from that standpoint! Every marriage goes through rough spots. People who say they don't are either lying, or deranged LOL! Thanks for reminding us all that sometimes love is hard work, and not to give up just because it's not easy all the time.

Angela