feeling lost, dont know what to do?
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feeling lost, dont know what to do?
| Mon, 01-17-2005 - 2:03pm |
Hi,
Well, my Dh and I had a talk and we are thinking I will have to go to work for a few months or so until we get back on our feet...He has a great job, but it takes a little time to build relationships, and the past 2 months we have been very tight with money. And we havent bought any extras, just necessities. We both have really nice cars, and all the bills just add up. And We will barely make it through this month, but will have to charge some groceries. sigh...Plus my DH's company lowered his expense account, so we will be getting $200 less than this month.
I cry when I think I have to go to work and leave our 2 year old son...I just think I will be SOO unhappy and all I will think about is him. My parents said they would lend us money, but they have lent us money a few months ago, and we can't keep relying on them. And we are only short about $200 a month, thats all we need extra to be comfortable. My OBGYN said he was looking for someone for medical records, and I did that before I had my son. I wouldnt have a problem finding a job.
So, me going to work is a last resort, what do you guys think? I'm really scared.
kate
Well, my Dh and I had a talk and we are thinking I will have to go to work for a few months or so until we get back on our feet...He has a great job, but it takes a little time to build relationships, and the past 2 months we have been very tight with money. And we havent bought any extras, just necessities. We both have really nice cars, and all the bills just add up. And We will barely make it through this month, but will have to charge some groceries. sigh...Plus my DH's company lowered his expense account, so we will be getting $200 less than this month.
I cry when I think I have to go to work and leave our 2 year old son...I just think I will be SOO unhappy and all I will think about is him. My parents said they would lend us money, but they have lent us money a few months ago, and we can't keep relying on them. And we are only short about $200 a month, thats all we need extra to be comfortable. My OBGYN said he was looking for someone for medical records, and I did that before I had my son. I wouldnt have a problem finding a job.
So, me going to work is a last resort, what do you guys think? I'm really scared.
kate

We are in the same financial situation this month. We talked about me working for a while to get us back on track. I looked around for jobs I would be qualified for, and from what the pay level is, vs the cost of a decent daycare, I wouldn't really be bringing home any money. We are going to stick it out for now. Dh is thinking of getting a part time job as well. He works 10 hour days Mon- Thur, and has Frid off every week. He was thinking of doing something on Friday, and Saturday. I don't like that idea, but it's his call.
If you do work and will be making money, not paying it all out to dc, then try it out for a while until your head is above the water again, and you can go back to being a sahm without the guilt.
Lesley
Sorry to hear your family's going thru a rough time. Any chance you could get a job working nights and weekends so you won't have to put your son in daycare? Or find a job where he can be with you...like at a day care or child care center (at a gym or something). I have a friend that taught a class or two every week at the YMCA and she could either bring her dd along or they provided free child care while she taught. She taught some of the preschool classes and didn't need to have any other qualifications besides "likes to work with children".
Good luck...hope you find something that works for you!
Wendy
You can try to cut back on everything as well. Maybe trade your nice car for something a little less expencive. Start buying store brand grocery products for awhile. Find a smaller market or one of those basic stores that have a cash only policy. They carry very inexpencive items and some good deals. They charge for bags so bring your own. Make a list and stick to it. Use lots of coupons if you can. Gather up all your change and deposit it in the bank or take it the coinstar and use it for grocerys. Find out how much the recycle place in your town will pay for scrap metals and newspapers. Some places pay for this.
Call all your utlitie cos and ask them for budget wise plans or ask if there is a way to lower your bills. My phone co has packages and I found a good one and lowered our phone bill by 20.00 My gas bill I cut by going on the budget plan and then I turned the heat down and used my clothing line in the basement to cut the dryer use down. I did all this for 12 month and then my bill came down even lower. Then I called the gas co and had them refigure the bill. Now it is more managable. I save 100.00 a month on that.
Shop auto insurance. I am now saving 1000.00 because I shopped compaired apples to apples and now I am much better off.
I also got rid of my cell phone. I cut all the extras we did not need. Caller Id. Call waiting, forwarding..... Just look seroiusley at where you spend all your money weekley or monthy. (you not dh) then ask yourself is my weekley nail appt more importiant than my child? Is going to the movies more importiant... Once you have asked yourself what is more of a necessity and a want then you will be able to make wise decisions as long as you are honest with yourself.
Cut out newspapers, magazine subcriptions, and such. Or have your new paper delivered on just the weekends. Look at your cable bill... I bet you can live with out HBO or MAX.
Then look at your dh with out him knowing it. Is he byuing a lunch everyday? Can you make him a nice lunch to carry instead. Where can you help him cut back and save. The approach him with kindness not anger because you are sacfricing and he is not. Work together as a team.
Call your credit card co. If your in good with them you can ask them to lower your intrest payment. You can also ask if you can skip a month w/ no penelty if you have had the card for a long time and in very very good staning they may do that for you.
You can refinance your home. ITs very easy. ITs just a matter of gathering up your bills. Look at the rates in the newspaper if they are lower at least 1% then it is worth the effort to do it. You may need to make a few phone calls and ask if they are willing to find you the best rate and payment avil. But it is worth it if you lower our house payment and pull out some equity.
Home equity line of credit. Is another choice. It is tax ductable here in Michigan. And you may be able to get a paymetn as low as 200.00 a month. This will pay off your high bills and then you will be able to get back on track.
Paper routes are a good way to make money. You can use your car if necessary or in the warmer climets you can put baby in a stroller and pull a wagon behind you.
Don't relay on your charge cards you will just get in way over your head.
hope this helps.
Always looking for a bargin.
Sorry you are having a rough time. My husband and I are just recently coming out of a similar situation. We have been struggling for almost a year now and have used charge cards to pay for nearly everything, but that only lasts so long. We have borrowed some from my parents (which I hate doing). But it never made much sense for me to work part time somewhere because I really didn't have anyone who could watch my three kids during the day and my degree is elementary ed so even subbing wouldn't make enough to pay for a daycare or babysitter. We just stuck it out and my husband started working for a different (and better) company where he will make more money. It is very scary when bills are piling up and you can't afford groceries. It will be a while before we catch up and now we have huge debt to pay off, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think you should do whatever makes sense. If you will still make money after paying for someone to watch your child temporarily, it might be worth it. I had to do my student teaching while my daughter was 2 and she did just fine, in fact, I think it helped with her shyness. Just do what makes you most comfortable. It might seem hard at first, but things will get better. Good luck.
Kim
Kate,
I am sorry you are going through this at this time and with your pregnancy, but it will be ok.
I know how you are feeling. After having Andrew, I had to go back to work cause my husbands job was not reliable. I hated having to leave him. My mom watched him for free, but it was hard. I had to work nights while husband worked days, so we never saw one another.
The only thing I can say is, that you must do what you have to do. I think it would be harder to lose things and not have money to pay bills, or buy food, then it is to go back to work for awhile.
Good luck.