friends?? ugh
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friends?? ugh
| Wed, 03-24-2004 - 9:12pm |
I have kind of a long question which I will shorten dramatically cuz I want an answer and don't want to have to go into EVERYTHING right away. but if you have ? please ask...here goes. I have a friend that I've been friendly with for about 2 years now. We've always been close in terms of kids and quilting. Our 2 favorite things to talk about. Well she has been very up and down in her marriage and lately she's been really starting to say some things that bother me. Whenever I voice my opinion she acts like I'm judging her, etc. Which I guess I am, but it's hard not to. Her husband cheated on her once. probably 5 years ago. she stuck it out cuz she had no where to go. k, then she caught him looking at kiddie porn sites 2 months ago. was furious, ready to leave him, etc. and then about a week after she caught him it's all of a sudden 'we're getting along great, we worked everything out'. well i don't agree with that. it's kiddie porn!! what's there to 'work out'??!! k. then one day she said her and her hubby had decided they were going to have an 'open marriage' and date/sleep with other people. not sure about that lifestyle. i think she has other motives. like her self esteem is low and she's looking for someone to make her feel good. actually she's even said that'i just want someone to pay attention to me and make me feel like a girl'. lol. so my question is this...(of course there's a lot more to it). i'm very disgusted with the way she talks now. it's not just friendly talk.,quilting, kids, etc. she tells me about what she does with these guys (yes more than 1). her hubby, by the way hasn't done anything (meaning getting a girl). maybe he thinks she is testing him?? i'm just not interested in a friendship with her anymore. is that horrible?? how do I tell her without her getting offended? is there a way? she acts like 'i don't judge your life, you don't judge mine'. yes. but don't we all to a degree pick our friends cuz they have same values as us, etc.? like a boyfriend, a husband, etc. what if that person changed drastically? do you have to keep doing it? being friends? what would you do?? what ever happened to a friendly game of cards and some nice clean conversation?? ugh

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I feel that since you feel so strongly against her new choices that the friendship isn't made to be anymore. People change and so do friendships.
HTH
Cyndi
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