ok well I think some people do welcome oposing sides to this but I don't. I am sorry to say but I feel very strongly on this issue. I think that if someone says that they can't afford to stay home then really on most ocassions they don't want to give up things to do so. There is always a way. We have redone our finances and gone as far as getting rid of my cell phone, shutting off the satelite, and only buying essentials right now. As long as they do that and more and still can't afford to stay home then yes maybe they need to work. Really I have done alot of planning in my life to get what I want. When I dated my husband I made sure that he was on the same page as me about staying home. I worked for 5 years at the same job until we decided to have kids. We make it happen becuase it is important to us.
I strongly don't agree with working moms. I am sorry and yes there are some women who make it work by having family watch their kids and that is sorta ok. I think that if you feel like you have to work out side the house and make money to feel whole or have self esteam then you shouldn't have kids. We should not teach our kids that we can have it all. It is a poor way of mothering. There are choices all throughout life and it is either one or the other.
Yes I think in a way it is ok for the father to stay home with the kids but in their first years of life I think a mother is needed if possible. Also I believe that men are made different then women for a reason and the role change for some can have a bad outcome. If some people don't believe as strongly as me on this point then that is fine. That is just how I feel and I have yet to find someone to give a good reason for both parents to work. Once the kids are in school we can volunteer or have a job that works around their schedual. I would be fine with that. I just believe that my husband and my kids come first in my life and I feel whole with just that. Did I want to have a career? yes but staying home is sooooooo much better and I gave that up to have children. I don't want or need to have a career that takes me away from home or pays me money for. I have a different career now.
Amen, Tanya. I think you presented the same perspective that most of us have on this issue. I'm glad we have such healthy attitudes about it. It really is about what our kids need and meeting those needs. :) Emily is a lucky little girl to have such a loving mom! :)
This is a Stay-At-Home-Moms board. The women on this board are here to get and give support to other Stay-At-Home moms. Of course we are all going to be offended when a nationally publicized magazine prints a story about how we're all making an enormous mistake by staying home with our children when we should be working in the event our husbands leave us. (Come on, that last part just sounds silly!) Generally, we all have the same opinion on this topic and there are other boards that support working mothers. We don't have to change our opinions to make people happy. We are SAHMs and that is what we believe we should be regardless of our situations.
I also know that some of us - including myself - have had to go back to work for whatever reason and we can see both sides of the issue. But we all still have the same viewpoint when it comes to raising children and that is that having mom home is what is best for them. That being said, there are some situations out there that require both parents to work or for the mother to compensate financially for the family. Any of us would do what we need to do in order to put our family first in any event that we may come across. I'd go back to work full-time, part-time, as the sole provider, etc if anything were to happen to my husband. I'd do what I needed to do. But we are not a board that discusses the benefits of either working or staying at home. That would be the Stay-At-Home OR Work Debate board. We don't need to debate here. We all agree on the topic at hand and if you don't then you are in the wrong place.
Well said Sophia. Being a newbie myself that is exactly what I have found and appreciate greatly from this board. Thanks everyone for being so welcoming.
Lol Chrissy, I have to confess I had to erase and rewrite my post about a dozen times. It's no secret I'm self-righteous in my SAHMommyness. We're all here for the same reason, we want to be the ones raising our children.
I just wanted to add this. Of course my views have changed about being a SAHM mom because of my recent divorce. I LOVED being a SAHM and hopefully I will be home with my children in the future, I do believe it's not for everyone, it's a personal choice. You do sacrifice alot and it is a little risky, but these are your babies and they grow up and they are gone. Who wants to throw a child in daycare everyday just to feel safe and secure?? What about that poor baby who wants their mommy??? Life is way too short not to raise your child and have someone else take care of them most of the time. I do think all moms should have a back up plan and a college degree so when/if they are faced with a divorce, job loss, death, they can get back into the working field making decent money. And chances are if you are a SAHM, your dh makes a decent amount of money, and he has to pay you and the kids for years
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ok well I think some people do welcome oposing sides to this but I don't. I am sorry to say but I feel very strongly on this issue. I think that if someone says that they can't afford to stay home then really on most ocassions they don't want to give up things to do so. There is always a way. We have redone our finances and gone as far as getting rid of my cell phone, shutting off the satelite, and only buying essentials right now. As long as they do that and more and still can't afford to stay home then yes maybe they need to work. Really I have done alot of planning in my life to get what I want. When I dated my husband I made sure that he was on the same page as me about staying home. I worked for 5 years at the same job until we decided to have kids. We make it happen becuase it is important to us.
I strongly don't agree with working moms. I am sorry and yes there are some women who make it work by having family watch their kids and that is sorta ok. I think that if you feel like you have to work out side the house and make money to feel whole or have self esteam then you shouldn't have kids. We should not teach our kids that we can have it all. It is a poor way of mothering. There are choices all throughout life and it is either one or the other.
Yes I think in a way it is ok for the father to stay home with the kids but in their first years of life I think a mother is needed if possible. Also I believe that men are made different then women for a reason and the role change for some can have a bad outcome. If some people don't believe as strongly as me on this point then that is fine. That is just how I feel and I have yet to find someone to give a good reason for both parents to work. Once the kids are in school we can volunteer or have a job that works around their schedual. I would be fine with that. I just believe that my husband and my kids come first in my life and I feel whole with just that. Did I want to have a career? yes but staying home is sooooooo much better and I gave that up to have children. I don't want or need to have a career that takes me away from home or pays me money for. I have a different career now.
Ladies -
In an effort to avoid closing this thread, we're
I just read the article and I am a little flabbergasted.
Amen, Tanya. I think you presented the same perspective that most of us have on this issue. I'm glad we have such healthy attitudes about it. It really is about what our kids need and meeting those needs. :) Emily is a lucky little girl to have such a loving mom! :)
~ Kat
ridiculous
schedule
argument
waste
satellite
divorce
because
This is a Stay-At-Home-Moms board. The women on this board are here to get and give support to other Stay-At-Home moms. Of course we are all going to be offended when a nationally publicized magazine prints a story about how we're all making an enormous mistake by staying home with our children when we should be working in the event our husbands leave us. (Come on, that last part just sounds silly!) Generally, we all have the same opinion on this topic and there are other boards that support working mothers. We don't have to change our opinions to make people happy. We are SAHMs and that is what we believe we should be regardless of our situations.
I also know that some of us - including myself - have had to go back to work for whatever reason and we can see both sides of the issue. But we all still have the same viewpoint when it comes to raising children and that is that having mom home is what is best for them. That being said, there are some situations out there that require both parents to work or for the mother to compensate financially for the family. Any of us would do what we need to do in order to put our family first in any event that we may come across. I'd go back to work full-time, part-time, as the sole provider, etc if anything were to happen to my husband. I'd do what I needed to do. But we are not a board that discusses the benefits of either working or staying at home. That would be the Stay-At-Home OR Work Debate board. We don't need to debate here. We all agree on the topic at hand and if you don't then you are in the wrong place.
Tarra
Sandy, would you please post a hello and introduce yourself post.
Being a newbie myself that is exactly what I have found and appreciate greatly from this board.
Thanks everyone for being so welcoming.
Lol Chrissy, I have to confess I had to erase and rewrite my post about a dozen times. It's no secret I'm self-righteous in my SAHMommyness. We're all here for the same reason, we want to be the ones raising our children.
I just wanted to add this. Of course my views have changed about being a SAHM mom because of my recent divorce. I LOVED being a SAHM and hopefully I will be home with my children in the future, I do believe it's not for everyone, it's a personal choice. You do sacrifice alot and it is a little risky, but these are your babies and they grow up and they are gone. Who wants to throw a child in daycare everyday just to feel safe and secure?? What about that poor baby who wants their mommy??? Life is way too short not to raise your child and have someone else take care of them most of the time. I do think all moms should have a back up plan and a college degree so when/if they are faced with a divorce, job loss, death, they can get back into the working field making decent money. And chances are if you are a SAHM, your dh makes a decent amount of money, and he has to pay you and the kids for years
Pages