hard time relating to my single friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
hard time relating to my single friends
5
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:05pm

So, since I had Noah two years ago I found that there is a widening gap with me and most of my friends (who are all mainly single or married without children). And now that I am a SAHM (tomorrow's my first official day on the job!!!), i think that gap will get even bigger.
That will leave me with very few friends since all my girlfriends are more "sex in the city" type girls versus SAHM types.
Anyone else have this happen? Did you keep those friends or make new ones with whom you had more in common.
Sometimes I feel like when we all get together I am boring them with my talk of noah (DS). But he is the center of my life now, not makeup and bars.

Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:23pm

I went through this. Truthfully I did not keep a single friend from those days. It is sad but we truly had nothing in common. I realize now though that the common bond of motherhood had brought me much more meaningful and closer friendships than I ever had before.


I hope it can work out for you~!


Traci

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:39pm

i don't keep in contact with any of my single friends with the exception of one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:47pm
That happened to me as well. Y'all are just at different places in your lives. One of my friends and I did become close again after she had her son a few years after I became a mom. Congrats on your first day as a sahm tomorrow!!!
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Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 10:00am

I had the same problem...well, at the time I thought it was a problem, but you can be suprised how you can make new friends! Most of my friends were single, or married and childless. They were into clubs, and meeting guys, and getting thier nails done etc. After I had dd, we did drift away. I made new friends. Some are new neighbours, and some are actually people I had met through old friends, I just never really got know.

Now that a few years have past I find I am getting calls from the old group of friends who are slowly starting to have kids. Its funny how things can change.

You can always find a mommy & me club or group in your area to meet other sahms like yourself!

Good luck!

Lesley

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Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:47pm

I think that when my friends start having kids - it will be a different story....but until then I am pretty much "odd man out". I sometimes feel like they are bored when I talk about Noah and when he was younger and had colic - I would tell them how tired I was and I could tell they thought I was just a whinner and doing something wrong.
Its funny how before you have kids you think things will be different for you....your kids will be perfeclty clean, well behaved, sleep 12 hours a night and nap two hour every day, be great at fancy restaurants ect... then you have kids and all of a sudden you are just a normal parent who has good and bad days and your kid does have tantrums at Wal Mart!
I guess this is the kind of thing my single, child-free friends can't relate to.

Also, this may sound weird, but i think some of them are jealous. They are all in their late twenties or early thirties and I think some of them secretly wish they had kids. But they don't, so its just easier to say things like "you lose yourself when you have kids, you give up your career, I like my freedom too much" instead just admitting - "I wish I had a family".?????

Josee