having another baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
having another baby
3
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 9:09pm

I really want another child. But am soo happy with Noah (he will be 2 next week) and all the time we get to spend together and the bounding time we have that I am worried about a baby changing all that. I will be exhausted and sleep deprived again and I fear that I will neglect Noah because a baby will require soo much of my time. Sounds a bit stupid, but I think about it a lot lately.
Also, on a more selfish level, I am finally getting my social life back and free time to myself....I think about the constant attention a baby requires plus this time there will also be Noah - can i handle it without losing my mind?

I feel stupid and selfish having thoughts like this. But it is part of the equation I guess. I did not really enjoy the new baby part. I was never and still am not a big baby person...but I absolutely love and adore kids over the age of 1 and I want what I have with Noah right now again with another child.

I am blabbing...just needed to put this down and get some feedback- helps me think things through!

josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 10:02pm

Josee good greif lady, you are anything but selfish! Do you know how many people who never even think before having children?


This is obviously something you are going to have to figure out for yourself. I will tell you that when I had my first son we had four years alone together. He was my everything and I truly started thinking maybe I had made a mistake by getting pg again. I kept reading articles where people had said they had a favorite child and that you don't love 2nd children and so forth as much as your first. WRONG!!! I swear my heart expanded the day my 2nd was born. Now I can't imagine life without him and when I think back to those crazy thoughts I just shake my head. I know this third time around I might just explode with it...lol


Have you considered maybe adoption as an option for your family? This could be a way to add a child and skip the baby days.


Whatever you decide I wish you the best!


Traci

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 5:00pm

Thanks for that.

As for adoption, yes, Dh and I have considered it but after lots of consideration we decided against it. Reasons include the cost, time involved (some couples wait years) and also we have a few friends that went that route and it seems like none of them had a good experience. What I mean by that is, yes, they love their kids, but it was a very tough road. One of them their baby, when she got older, has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, something they were not aware of at time of adoption. Another had legal problems with the birth mother ect... So that kind of scared us off.

Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 8:33pm
I think we all have these thoughts and questions when it comes to adding more children to the family.
When I had my second I felt so bad not having the time for Andrew, but once Dalton got a little older I was able to give them both the love and attention they both needed and things got much better and we are all happy.
I am now having another and worry again what will happen to the two I have now when this baby comes, but I know in the long run it will even itself out and things will be great.
Good luck in the descion you make , no matter what it is.

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