Having a world class pity party today...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Having a world class pity party today...
8
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:47pm
pooor poooor pitiful me, poooor poooor pitiful me...."

god this day SUCKS!!!!! royally big hairy donkey balls. this day sucks to bad that i don't even want to do anything to make it better, i just want to get down and roll in it. seriously, i want to go back to bed for at LEAST a week if not two. i need a break sooo bad you guys, but the only way i'm gonna get one is if i disappear, and since i'm no magician, that ain't happening. actually, i just want my kids to disappear. honestly, i hate them. i hate the kids, i hate my husband, i even hate the stupid un-housbroken mutt DH got that keeps crapping on the floor. i kicked that idiot mutt down the hill today, and god it felt good! the thing has the iq of a goldfish, it thinks that if it craps/pisses in the bathroom then it did a good thing. i hate it. my son broke his own all-time screaming record with an amazing 48 minutes this morning because mom burned the first batch of oatmeal and dear god he had to wait for the 2nd. i hate him. my daughter, who is usually the only thing in this godforsaken place that i actually enjoy, has been getting on my nerves since the minute she woke me up at 5:30 this morning with a terrible off-key rendition of "adelweisse." i hate her too. DH called a few minutes ago, and when i whined to him his only comment was "well turn the cartoons on." like that works. then he called back to say that he was getting off work early because supposedly i'm sick. so i ask him if he's going to treat me like i'm sick and give me a break. "no, you're fine, i'm going to take a nap!" he's useless, i hate him too.

it's just been one thing after another today. i swear, i would pay anything, do anything for ten minutes to my freaking self. i can't even go to the bathroom without someone bugging me. they just stand outside the bathroom door (h included) and ask moronic things like "whatcha doin in there?" (what do you THINK i'm doing?) or "where's my toy/hat/shirt/shoes/anything to make you pay attention to me?" (i could care less, i'm POOPING in here!) or worse yet, complain "tristan/ally hit me," or "the kids are hungry, what am i supposed to do about that?" (again, i'm pooping, i don't care!!!)

i just want them all to leave me the heck alone. i can't take it anymore! everyone wants too freaking much out of me, just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! i begged and begged H to let me have a day off, one freaking day off in four years. FOUR YEARS!!!!! just one day where these stupid kids were his responsibility and not mine. just one single day where i did not have to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn and start tending to everyone's needs but my own. just one day. you know what he said? "sure, you can have wednesday off, but you have to get them up and fix them breakfast and take care of them until at least ten, there's no way in h i'm getting up at 6!" why the heck not? i do it every single day!

alleria (4) is off for spring break. so of course i have to figure out some way to entertain a child who is bored at preschool, let alone at home. do i get spring break? of course not, i go to a tech school that doesn't believe in silly thing like "breaks." Does my DH care that i'm going to lose my mind and just plop the kids in front of the tv, stick a lollipop in each of their mouths and walk off into the blue yonder, never to return? of course not, he's too busy worrying about his precious "nap." what he really needs to worry about is how he's gonna afford a nanny when i'm gone!

and this house, dear god this house! it's so freaking dirty it belongs on "cops." sure i should clean it, but why bother? they'll just trash it again as soon as i turn around! there's just no point. i think i'm just gonna torch it, it's easier and more permanent.

anyway, sorry for the ever-so-lengthy rant, i just HAD to vent before someone gets hurt. i actually feel a tiny bit better just for getting it out, kinda like primal scream therapy!

going to bed now to sleep for the next ten years......

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 4:15pm
Girl, as soon as your hubby gets home to take care of his "sick" wife, you need to just walk out!! Go get eat something evil, or buy a pair of shoes you can't justify. Do SOMETHING. You know what I'm sick of? People the same age as us doing stupid stuff and still blaming it on thier childish ignorance. That's what I HATE! But wow, if my cable gets turned off because I chose to pay the phone bill, "I'M" irrisponsible, and a crappy Mom!! What the HECK?? We can't have childish whims? Sure they can do thier damage, but sometimes you have to break a rule before you break something else!! People like you and me get the short end of the stick because we started off as an adult (or sooner for us) being FULL BLOWN responsible. I know people my age that BLOW the rent money, the money for a car payment, whatever on WHO KNOWS WHAT, and their Mommy and Daddy come running to pay it for them, because "they didn't know better". UGH!! So SUE me for buying McDonald's twice a week instead of cooking because I'm wasting money, it's two less headaches I have to deal with, and it's worth the $20 "habit".

Anyway, don't let being responsible ALL the time weigh you down. I swear if I don't splurge on myself every 6 months or so (usually something minor like new makeup), I am going to end up like the people I hate who are ALL about themselves ALL the time. Kinda like if you tell yourself you are going to swear off Chocolate for the rest of your life, what do you end up doing two weeks (that's STRONG willpower for me! LOL) down the road?? You go buy 2 lbs of M & M's and scarf them all in 24 hours. (ok, maybe I'm a freak, but that's my tendancies! LOL).

I hope your day gets MUCH better.

GL

Angie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 4:19pm
Having a bad day, huh?

I think it's time to go crazy on the hubby's lazy ass and get a day off. Just get up and leave. He'll get up, tend to the kids and they will manage without you. THEY WILL manage without you for a day! I promise! Good god, girl! Someone is gonna get hurt if mama doesn't get a break soon!

But what are you doing cooking oatmeal on the stove? Use the microwave...takes two mins. Oh! If you don't have a microwave, I'm sorry I said anything.

Feels good to let it out, doesn't it?

Melissa

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:19am
ITA!!!!!!! that's EXACTLY what i feel like today. just being my age. just doing something normal like going out and getting mad drunk or spending 100 bucks on a haircut. i'm so freaking tired of being 'responsible.'

anyway, thanks for comiserating, i needed some empathy right about now! i'm feeling much better, i went to sleep as soon as dh got home, and slept like a baby until a few minutes ago. maybe it was just pms coupled with sleep deprivation, but i was really losing it lol. i'm taking tomorrow off whether dh likes it or not, and i'm taking the phone bill money with me. screw it, so it's a little late, what good will a phone do me if i'm in the loony bin? i have class at 8 am, and i'm just not going. i'm too tired, i'm too stressed, and i just don't care anymore. but you can bet i'm going to be out of the house by 7:30, i'm just not going to school! if i'm gone then they'll all just have to figure it out. thanks for understanding,

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:25am
you sure they'll survive? i mean, none of them knows how to do ANYTHING for themselves, cook, clean, wipe their butts, nothing. i think the world just might end if i'm not here to take care of them....

guess it's time to find out huh? lol

and yes, i have a microwave, and yes, i should probably use it for oatmeal, but ds is really small for his age (just now outgrowing failure to thrive) and really really picky, and he the only thing he'll eat for breakfast is oatmeal cooked on the stove with magarine and cream cheese (gross, i know, but it's fattening and nourishing, and one of the few things he likes.). won't touch it if it's cooked in the microwave, little brat!

and yeeeesssss, it does feel ever so good to let it all out!

thanks, clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 4:14am
I think I have found a new board to call "home".... This is exactly how I was feeling yesterday. Have I got my break yet? No! But I did cuss out hubby in Lowe's today and it felt darn good too. So what if people looked at me.

I'm a SAHM and I was just browsing the boards to see if I can find anything new to amuse me in my boring little life. It's 3am. My baby has been sleeping for HOURS. I took benedryl and I still can't sleep. I just want to stay up to get time to myself to veg out and ATTEMPT to de-stress...

It's 10 days until my husbands next paycheck and I have family coming to visit the day before payday how in the heck am I going to get food in my house by then. All the credit cards are close to being maxed out.

I'm glad to find out that someone else hates everyone sometimes also... Glad your feeling better.

Jaimie-25 acts 45-responsible for EVERYTHING. It's my fault his car registration is expired and we have no money to pay it. But he is the person who spent $3500 on crap last month.

Josh-21 acts 15, on a good day.

Cody-10/15/03 acts his age and sometimes is more well behaved than hubby.



*HUGS* TOTAL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 3:33pm
hey, all the people looking at you have probably btdt at one point themselves, so screw it! welcome to the board where anything goes, screaming, ranting, venting and even the occasional bragging. kwym about wanting to stay up till the wee hours just to steal a moment to yourself, that's exactly what i did last night and and it really helped. here it was, 3 am, and i'm taking a shower and doing my nails! stupid, yes, but the only chance i have to get a second alone!

my own dear sweet idiot of a husband is out buying a paintball gun. why? beats the hell out of me!!! he's freaking 25, what 25 yo needs a paintball gun?? not to mention that we have zilch in the way of spending $. they're all idiots, i swear sometimes that my kids are smarter!

welcome to the board,

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 4:41pm
What 25 year old DOESN'T need a paintball gun???

Geez, get your priorities straight!

;)

Melissa
Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 7:19pm
dear god i know, what a B am i.....

he needs a paintball gun like i need a hernia!

clarity