Help!! My DH is panicking!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Help!! My DH is panicking!!
2
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 9:11am

My DH and I have been working toward getting some debt paid off and getting some money saved so that I can quit my job next year and stay home. I just discovered that my DH is panicking about me staying home. History: this is a second marriage for both of us. My DH's first wife stayed home but over the years became bitter about staying home and not having a career once their son became a teenager. She and my DH's son bonded much closer than my DH and his son (understandable since she was at home with him all day) and over the years an "us versus him" relationship formed. Obviously there were many more things that led to their divorce.

My DH is now panicking that I will become strictly a stay at home mom instead of both a stay at home mom and a stay at home wife. I want to stay at home so I can be both. My DH has a very stressful job that often requires him to do additional work from home in the evenings. Right now, since we both work we both split the household tasks. Once I am staying at home, I see those tasks as my responsibility (my son will be in school when I am able to stay home) which means my DH will not have to spend time doing those things. I can have dinner ready for him as opposed to him having to help me get dinner ready. He is also panicked that our sex life will become non-existant (this is what happened in his first marriage because his ex said she was too tired from everything she did all day to have sex).

I need some advice from all of you ladies on things you do to make sure you still focus on your DH and not just your kids. How can I make him feel better about our decision?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 9:56am
I see no reason for him to panic about history repeating itself.
You want to stay home and he did as well or you would not have been working so hard for you to be able to.
Let him know, reassure him, show him all the great things from you being home.
I am sure things will work out great and he will see it was over nothing.
((((((((hugs)))))))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 10:05am

Hi~


I just decided to check out this board and I saw your post.

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