help w/teenager

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
help w/teenager
6
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 11:11pm

I have a 14 yr. old step-daughter who refuses to do anything with her friends. I have offered on numerous occasions to take her to her friends but she would rather be with her father or stay in the house???

Leah

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
In reply to: gal_shy
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 11:31pm

Gosh, I really don't have any advice. Being a teenager is SO hard, I remember. I think its great that she does want to hang out with her dad! I hope someone can give you some good advice.

Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gal_shy
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 11:34pm

Maybe she's just super shy?? I can see my DD Tessa being this way in 11 years. She is neurotically shy. You might want to talk to her and make sure nothing's going on, like kids picking on her or something. If she's not having peer issues, I wouldn't worry. I kind of hope my girls stay in the house when they're 14. I certainly don't want them taking after me at that age! LOL!!

BTW, welcome to the board & I hope you join us more.

Sofia




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
In reply to: gal_shy
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 10:17am
She's not shy at all. If anything she would get in trouble in school for talking too much. I don't know what it is. I've noticed that her friends are independent for their ages. However, I don't know if she is lacking the independent area that's the problem. I always have to tell her, have breakfast, get some lunch or dinner and simple things. We ask her, where do you want to go? What would you like to do? - Her response is always I don't know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2006
In reply to: gal_shy
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 10:36am

I was like this. I preferred my books to people. Maybe it's just how she is, I wouldn't force it. My mom forced alot of stuff on me and I really grew to resent it.

Perhaps a compromise? she can stay home if she likes but she needs to pick at least one event a week that she attends? This way she'll not feel like she's being forced into stuff all the time, plus maybe it will grab her attention and she'll start wanting to do more things on her own.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
In reply to: gal_shy
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 11:27am

Can you share more information about her? Then maybe we could give some better advice. You say your her stepmom. Is this a recent divorce? Is she depressed? If she is sticking close to home I am guessing she is not involved in any activities which are harmful to her and maybe this isn't a bad thing.


Traci

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
In reply to: gal_shy
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:09am

I was like that growing up... painfully shy, plus I had a severely low self esteem and thought no one liked me, so I sat at home all the time and kept to myself.

All I can say is don't push it... she'll have to get to a point on her own where she feels comfortable going out and doing things. Besides it may be a blessing in disguise with the things kids are doing nowadays anyway kwim?


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