How do you stay friends after HS/college

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
How do you stay friends after HS/college
5
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:13pm

I'm hoping that someone has some creative, fun ways to stay friends with your girlfriends from HS or college? I was the first one to move away, get married, have a child, stay at home to parent, etc. The last few times that I've talked to one friend, it feels like she is completely uninterested in my life and is just calling b/c it was on her "to do" list or something. Anyone ever feel that way? If so, what do you do? My life is my daughter and preparing her for preschool. I don't "go out" with or without my DH b/c we live in an isolated area, no trustworthy, GOOD childcare. I rarely get to watch the news, let alone read a book, heck, can't even read a magazine around a one year old! Our lives are SO different right now, do you stay friends or throw in the towel and just add them to your Christmas card list, one contact per year? I've tried finding a book on this and haven't really found much. They all say how important it is that women keep women friends throughout life but they fail to mention HOW!
I guess my questions are:
1) Make new friends OR keep the old?
2) If we keep the old, how do we maintain our female friendships despite distance, marital status, parenthood, etc.?
I was thinking about creating a vague questionnaire to send back and forth to any old friends you are trying to keep, but does it sound juvenile???
Questions like:
What was your favorite news story this month?
What was something funny that happened this month...
What was something irritating that happened this month?
What was something you learned this month?
A good quote or joke for this month?
Thanks for any advice, articles, good books on the topic.
Kristy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:30pm

Kristy,

I don't really have any advise for you. I lost touch with most of my hs/college friends. They aren't married, and think kids are a waste of time (I've heard through the grapevine, that this still is the case!). I keep in touch with 2 hs friends, but we have been friends since elementary school, and have always been very close. Although they aren't married, or have kids either, they still respect me, and my life. I have made new friends from when I worked, and I have met some great friends through my dh's friends/spouses. These are people who, as an adult, I have more in common with. It was hard at first to let go of the past and those who were such a huge part of my life, but I'm happy with the people I choose to surround myself with!

Good luck,

Lesley

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:40pm

I wish I still had friends from school. The main group that I hung around in High School was a pretty fast crowd. Most of my friends had children by the time they were 17. I considered myself a young first time

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 5:45pm

Hi Kristy, I have a best friend that I have known since junior high and we are still friends, and that has been about 21 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 8:17pm
Thanks for the good ideas. I'm a card freak so I know that I send plenty of those! And I e-mail articles that I think she'll be interested in. This friend spent Thanksgiving with me, my DH, and DD. She chomped on Nicorette gum most of the time (she quit smoking several months before) and drank a lot more than I have in the past two years. I don't know, we used to tell each other everything, call every time we heard that song or if a certain tv show was on. Now we "edit" things before we tell each other and it seems like we both want off the phone after 5 minutes.
I hear stories like yours, childhood friends kept for years and years, and truly, I'm a bit jealous. I want friends who like me enough to stick around that long. I think that you're very lucky and I hope that you both have a wonderful "just the girls" trip.
Take care and thanks again,
Kristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 10:41pm
My Opinion...It's tough!