How many 8 year olds..............

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
How many 8 year olds..............
6
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 3:06pm
My eight year old seems to hate me. He never listens to what I say, and if he decides to, it is with a huge attitude. I am at my witts end and have no idea what to do with him anymore. I have grounded him beyond belief and nothing has worked. I have also tried to figure out why he is this way towards me, which has had no progress. He has been like this for a couple of years now, and I have no idea how to fix it. He is even hateful to his brother and sister, but not as bad. Someone with some advice please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:16pm
Have you had a dramatic change in your lives the past few years?
Divorce, move, death? Maybe something has been done to him he has not told you about?
Have you tried asking him why he is so hateful? I am sure he is dying to let someone know what is bothering him.
Maybe a counslor? A person in your family he trusts?
I hope you find the cause and can deal with it. No reason a child that young should be so mean. There has to be a good reason.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 5:35pm

Like Mel the first thing that came to mind was big changes. I think we could help you more if we knew that.


I feel he is obviously showing his resentment of you for whatever reason

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 7:17pm
I know exactly what you mean, however, it's my 10 YO DS...not my 8 YO...that is the grumpy one. I can do nothing right in his eyes. I would love to hear a solution because, frankly, I'm at wits end.

Diane

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 10:09pm
Well almost two years ago, my grandfather who raised my sister and me passed away. He was living with us when he passed. He had gotten cancer and I was the only one to take care of him. My kids were extremely close to him. Even Alex who was about and year and half was close to him. His death was hard on usm, but not unexpected. He was almost always in the hospital and at home couldn't be left alone. He would get these episodes where is mind wasn't right and was hard to handle. My dh was working out of town the whole time he was sick and I was trying to be a care giver, parent, and try to get the everyday things done. I know that Freddy loved him, but I thought he would understand, that I did the best that I could with what I could do by myself, and if I could have done something to keep him alive, I would have done it in a heartbeat. He wasn't my "grandfather", he was my dad. I have just recently wandered it this is what Freddy could be mad about. We all just had to sit here and watch him pass away, with nothing to help. Freddy read a passage out of the Bible the night before he passed and I think he knew he wasn't gonna make it much further. I am just wondering if that is what the problem is, he won't tell me anything. Just incase he doesn't know, I feel sad inside knowing that there was nothing I could do to save him, everyday of my life. I miss him like nothing. Thanks for listening to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 8:05am
I forgot to add, then when he is grounded, he knows he can't do anything. We have no game system. Just t.v.s and computer which he knows if he touches, he will be grounded even longer. I don't mind the reading, he doesn't like it very much, so I figure that is punishment enough and it helps him read better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 8:24am
I am sorry to hear of the passing of your father.
That is hard on anyone, no matter the age or gender.
Have you thought about having him go to someone to talk about his death, to get things off his chest? I am sure it will do a world of good.
When I was 9, a best friend of mine died and it hurt like hell. I went to a counselor at school, and I tell you, it was a good thing. I learned the steps of how you feel when someone dies and how to deal with it.


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