How much does your DH ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How much does your DH ...
5
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 11:00am

(or working partner) help out around the house since you are staying home? When I worked, my DH did a lot to help out. He washed clothes, helped with dishes, and helped with the kids, etc. Now he might occassionally help with the dinner dishes.

I know I should take on more of the house work now. I wanted to quit work because I couldn't keep up with the house and kids, so I was prepared for more housework. It just seems like after I've been cleaning all day, taking DS out to play, and running errands, I'm tired at night too, but I still have to get DS#1's homework done with him, cook supper, clean up supper, and get them both bathed and to bed. I feel really guilty for asking DH to help since he does have a really stressful job, and he's always so tired when he comes home, but it seems like I never have any down time.

So, how much help do you get? Am I being unreasonable?



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 11:33am
As my best friend told me, this isn't the 50's. It's okay to ask your dh for help around the house. True, when I was working, dh helped me out a lot more on his own, but now if I ask him to do something I did not get around to, he will usually do it, maybe not the day I ask, but soon. He usually realizes how stressful and exhausting being a full-time sahm can be. He also has a (not so)hidden agenda too. If he does more around the house then maybe I wouldn't be so tired in the evening, which maybe means more time for him with me (if I feel like it.) (Dh is in the doghouse this week.) Anyway, have you asked him occasionally? You could use his line of thinking to get him to help you, as I described with my dh. Don't feel guilty (although it's hard not to.) What we do is hard work and we deserve help once in a while. Hope you get the results you want.
Andrea
SAHM to ds 3.5 and dd 13 mos. Married 7 yrs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 1:16pm

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all to want help around the house and with the kids. My dh does quiet a bit. He likes cooking, so he does most of the cooking, we both do the dishes. He vaccums, and I dust. I do most of the laundry, but I am not fond of the way he does it lol. He also helps alot with our dd, especially now that I'm pregnant and get tired easily.

Lesley

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 11:29pm
My DH does a lot of parenting when he gets home from work. So, while I'm cleaning the kitchen, he's getting the kids into bed and starting bedtime books.
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 7:48am

My Dh helps out a lot, especially for the crazy hours he works. When he works nights he gets up and takes the boys outside to give me a break. This is when he also takes 30 minutes or so to do some yard work. That is where I need him most since our house is small square footage wise but we have a HUGE yard.


When he works days he also takes the boys outside to play and is in charge or any maintenace I need like changing filters and such. He also does the dishes, bathes the kids and reads them a bedtime story. I normally never have anything to complain about :)


I think it helped that I let my Dh know from the beginning that I was his equal in every way. I have a say with everything. Staying at home does not make me his inferior. Once in our early years together after our second was born he asked me what I did all day...so I showed him. I handed him the baby and walked out the door for the rest of the day. He has never asked that question again! lol

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 8:24am

My dh is a great dad and loves to spend time with our kids.