How should I handle this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
How should I handle this?
16
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:04am
Every time someone asks what my younger ds' birthday is I get a shocked and horrified reaction and I want to learn how to deal with this before he gets old enough to understand why people are acting this way. He was born on Sept 11th last year.

What I've been saying to people who say "Oh well that's a horrible day to be born" or something to that effect is "Now that day reminds me to also celebrate the people who are still living." I don't know if this is a good response or not actually. It hurts me so much that when he goes to school he'll probably have to endure moments of silence on his Birthday. I remember thinking about this as my labor progressed through the moments of silence. He was born at 1:43 pm.

My family doesn't seem to understand either. They keep sending me Sept 11th rememberance emails. Why they think they need to remind me of all people about this day is beyond me. It just makes me sad. My husband keeps saying well people were born on D-Day and they did ok. My response to that was......our oldest son was born on the day the Titanic sank but how many people are alive to remember it. This is a fresh tragedy in people's minds.

Any advise you can give would be wonderful. I'm just trying to stick up for him and not offend anyone I guess.

Jen

Mom to Sean 4-14-01 and Eric 9-11-03

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 6:00pm
Yeah I know what I mean..I can only imagine how people react to it. But why do you not want to offend them? It seems that they don't take into consideration that they may be hurting your feelings.. Maybe you need to hurt their feelings..and let them know how you feel. Tell them that you are sorry for what happened to all those people.....but u are not sorry that you got that precious baby on that day. Tell them it may have been better if it was a different day.........but it isn't......and thats alright with you. And before your son goes to school explain to him what happened on his birthday. But 20 - 30 yrs from now......people aren't going to remember 911......it'll be put to the back of everyones minds like Pearl Harbor was.

Christy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 6:09pm
I'm looking for something that I can say when my ds is with me. If he's not with me and someone gets nasty then I may just give it right back to them. I don't like to lay down and take stuff when people are being mean or hurtful. I don't want to have an angry reaction in front of my ds. I don't think he deserves that. As my dh usually says "No one told him there was a tragedy that day. He just thought that it was a good day to be born" You know what........maybe I'll say that. It's the truth. Hmmm am I living with a sage or something?? LOL.

Jen

Mom to Sean 4-14-01 and Eric 9-11-03

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 7:11pm

I think it's rude that people say anything, it's just wonderful that your child was born, that's all. I get annoyed when I say my son's birthday is on may 1st and people walk around saying "mayday, mayday," it's like "SHUT UP."


So irritating. I feel for you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 9:35pm

>>>>>>>>He just thought that it was a good day to be born" You know what........maybe I'll say that. It's the truth.>>>>>>>>


I think you just solved your own problem, and it's a VERY good solution.

Posted by:

Rhonda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 9:41pm
So the next time I ask something like this just tell me to go ask my dh. LOL Sometimes it's hard to see the things that are right in your face.

Jen

Mom to Sean 4-14-01 and Eric 9-11-03

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 1:22am
I am sorry to hear that so many people can be so "ignorant" shall we say. I think that it doesn't really matter what day of the month a child is born, or what happened on that day in the past b/c the 2 are totally unrelated. It is not as if the children who were born on 9-11-01 caused that terrible event to happen.

I also think that if the DOB does have an effect on those people who are stupid enough to believe that there are any corelation between the two events that took place on that date, then they would probably say my Brother and soon to be SIL shouldn't get married b/c my brothers 21st Bday was 9-11-01 and his fiance was born on December 07.

I say just ignore them, b/c eventually ( I hope) they will figure it out that their comments are un called for and they go in one side and out the other.

I HTH ,

Michelle

mommy to Damien 7/28/01 & Kai 3/6/03

www.momswin.com/homewithyourkids

Michelle Damien & Kai's mom

www.momswin.com/homewithyourkids

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