how we look as stay home mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
how we look as stay home mom
17
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 12:42pm

At first I wasn't aware this is an issue. being stay home mom for a year now,
I recently find this make me think: Because I stay home almost everyday with no guest,
So i wear my comfort clothes, no make up, hair tide up. Sometimes I feel I am not that
confident woman as I saw myself years ago. I am not a person that judge 100% on the look or materials for confident, but now slowly I found it somehow do effect me when I am like that everyday now. Slowly eating me up. When I go out, I am all neat; I feel good about myself.
But what's the point of dressing up when only me and my daughter at home? and with the housework, cleaning...
Do you aware of this?

Bella

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 1:37pm

Bella, welcome to the board!


What you're talking about has a name. It's called "Frump Syndrom". Being a SAHM doesn't mean we're no longer a sensual woman and in need of being reminded of that. I used to think the same thing as you. What's the point of it when I just sit at home all day and get barfed on by my baby?? Well, I am the point! I feel prettier. I look better with a bit of concealer and eyeliner, and if I know I look better I feel better too. And it's not just for me, I do it for DH too. I want to remind him that I am his woman, and not just the mother of his children. I need to remind myself of that too. I'm a mom, but I'm not just a mom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 1:45pm

I make it a point to make myself look pretty if I have people coming over or if I leave the house. But I do agree with you, what's the point when its just you and your child at home all day? Days like that I'm lucky if I get a shower before one when I lay down Noah for his nap. I do, however, make a point to put on some mascara and jeans before DH comes home from work, that way he doesn't think I lounged in jammies all day (even if I did, LOL). Even if it's just for an hour, I know that I look presentable to my husband, KWIM?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 3:06pm
I'm so glad someone brought this up. I just started being a SAHM with my new lil' one and I feel the same way you do. I feel like I'm frumpy everyday. I used to dress nice every day for work, but now I wear t-shirts and sweats. If we are going somewhere I dress nice and it does make me feel better. If I'm at home I'm just getting spit up on and cleaning the house (0:
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Misty - Due 4/2/09

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 3:32pm

I did get a SAHM uniform, bought jeans I love and a bunch of cute shirts at Old Navy and sneakers.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:02pm

Hi Bella!

I know exactly what you mean... there are so many days when I sit around with no make up, hair pulled back, and pajamas or frumpy clothes. I've found that I have a much more productive and enjoyable day though if I actually dress and make myself look decent. I feel better about myself, and I want to set a good example for my kids. I have a very low self esteem anyway, so just that little bit in the morning really helps a lot.
Maybe you should invite a couple of friends to drop by anytime... sometimes that fear of them actually showing up is just enough to make you "fix up" a little bit LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:10pm

Well said, Kate!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 7:14pm
I get dressed and put make-up on every day. Most days, I'll also wash my hair and blow-dry it. After Avery was born, I did the jammies and ponytail thing every day and just found that it made me feel awful. Once I started "getting ready" every day, I feel alot better about myself. It also makes it easier if I decide on spur-of-the-moment to run to the mall, target, whatever.
I really consider staying at home with Avery to be my job, so I treat it as such. I definitely wouldn't go into the office in my pajamas! lol
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 7:18pm

"I really consider staying at home with Avery to be my job, so I treat it as such. I definitely wouldn't go into the office in my pajamas! lol"

Well said!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 8:41pm

I think that we should get up and get dressed. Maybe one or two days do sweats, but fix up and you feel better. Make a point to put on makeup and fix your hair. I do and it motivates me to get moving. I accomplish more and sure feel better. I work from home part-time and I dress to work. No one sees me, but I feel more confident and professional.

Moya

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 10:32pm

I am so glad to be here, I find many commons of what you said and feel.
I did a few times to put make up on and after an hour, my lipstick was off
and my hair was mess up again from playing with my dd. But you are so right,
It did make me feel more attractive and sexy in front of my DH too.
i have to learn how to have a stay home mom's lifestyle, I seems to just
hang in there for this all along but now it's been a year and it did something to my self-confidence. and I don't related the beauty products, fashion to me anymore at the mall.
That's not a good sign. I asked Dh about this, and he said when I go out I dress up like a beauty queen. And I can tell the different he look at me in the mirror when I put make up on. Maybe I should start doing this. Go get myself some new clothes, now I wear whatever
old, not going out clothes at home. sick of it.

Thanks, Bella

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