How/when do you make time for you?

Avatar for lovetwins2003
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Registered: 09-11-2003
How/when do you make time for you?
8
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 11:16am

If you have small children that aren't in school yet, how do you go about making time for you? How do you get to the gym, Dr's appts, time to breathe, etc... when you have small ones around?

I'm so depleted in the time for me department that I'm desperate to find out what other's do and when things got better for them. I'm not a fan of daycare, early school and hate having help around (nannies, maids, etc). I wish I had family or DH could be around more but it is what it is.
I haven't had any regular help in well over a year and have gained back so much of the weight I lost. I feel hopeless and so far out of shape/depleted that I'm in a bad way! I know I need major help, so I'm wondering what you do.

I'm wondering how many people have husband's work their schedules to help, have family who helps, drops child off at school/daycare, has a nanny?

Thanks!

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Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 12:31pm

"how do you go about making time for you?"

I'm on the computer playing around and chatting, read a magazine, relax, etc. during the morning nap. I don't make time, I just choose to do frivolous during Christophers morning nap instead of housework.

"How do you get to the gym"

Gym?!? HA! The only gym I know of is the SlimJim up in the snack cupboard, lol! Seriously though, I exercise after feeding Christopher, when Caroline heads off to preschool before his morning nap. He rolls around on the floor, plays with his toys, and babbles while I run on the olyptical (sp?).

"Dr's appts"

I try to schedule later in the afternoon when Dan can come home from work a little early so I can go alone, or else I take the kids. Annoying yes, but I try to get it when Dan can be home.

Your frustration can be heard in your words, is there a gym that has childcare, that you can go work out for an hour while your children play? I did that for a while when Caroline was about 3, but now there isn't a gym around so I do workouts at home.

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Avatar for me_n_my_gals
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 2:13pm

How about swapping with a neighbor? I do this all the time. We are both SAHM and when we need someone to watch our kids, we can almost always count on each other. No need to pay anyone, either, we just swap. If she has an appointment, I watch her dd & ds. Sometimes, she is not home when the school bus is due, so her dd just comes to my house until mom comes home, and vice versa. It is a cheap way to do things, not to mention, our children are forming fabulous bonds with each other.

Good luck!!

Wendy

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Registered: 09-16-2005
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 4:01pm

Well I have a 1 yr 9 months old

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Avatar for lovetwins2003
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Registered: 09-11-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 6:02pm

Hi:
Thanks for sharing with me. I have taken your ideas in to consideration... I know it's clear how frustrated I am! It might as well be written on my forehead.

It's not that I don't know what to do, or how to do it... it's a matter of figuring out what works best for me. I love Curves and want to go, but don't have anyone to watch the girls. I would never leave them with just anyone, so babysitters are very few and far between and I won't do daycare settings. The girls babysitter right now had to be certified sane by a psychologist, recommended by friends, credit checked, etc... all before entering my home. It's also really hot where I live (in the desert) so I wind up avoiding outdoor activities half the year. The expense of help is high. I live in a very small neighborhood (just a couple dozen homes) and there are no kids except mine. Everyone is upper middle aged or elderly. Not exactly kid swapping moms.

I was really just curious as to what others do so I feel less alone! Just wanting to chat and vent with you all. And if anyone could tell me how much their husbands help so I can show mine... that would really be appreciated!

Thanks for sharing.

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Registered: 04-04-2006
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:03pm
I can't believe your right here, well in the Phx metro area anyway.... anywho, i used to live in a simular neigborhood, and especially now i understand the weather issue, although today wasnt too bad, but 104º the other day was not nice! Anyway, you might want to try an in home workout type. My SO works a lot so i try and accomplish what I can when i have " Ambious" (sp?)days , and he helps out when he can and has the energy too. My girls are 6,4,&2, and like to play (most of the time) together so im lucky in that way. I have a friend that used to babysitt for me but she works now too so..... but i am on yahoo if you ever just need to vent... @ ajredneckgrl
~Shannon~
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Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 8:13pm

"And if anyone could tell me how much their husbands help so I can show mine... that would really be appreciated!"

I might be getting to technical here, but what do you mean by "help"? Being a SAHM is my job, and the caretaking of the house goes with it. I don't go to DH's work and help him do his job, why should he come help me do mine? HOWEVER, that being said playing with our children, while being of "help" to me so I can, say, make dinner, isn't considered helping me, it is him being a daddy to his own kids. And, I don't go into his office and throw dirty clothes on the floor, leave soda cans and dishes laying around, and generally make a mess for him to clean--so Dan doesn't do that in my "office" so to speak by doing those things at home. That is just flat out disrespectful with a tone of hostility in my never-to-be humble opinion ;-). Dan also is in charge of yard work, auto maintenence, and "manly man" projects around the house, but I don't look at that as him helping me, it's him being a man, my man, my husband, and a daddy to his kids.

Is that what you mean by help? Because by all means show him that as a Man (deserving of the capital M) his success is measured in his ability to make you and the children feel loved, adored, and cherished above all others and other things.

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Registered: 02-09-2005
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 10:38pm

My first thought was 'ha ha' - but

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Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 9:32am

Hello! First off, high five to Kate (dansfoxywife) on her discription of a harmonious stay at home mom/soul provider husband relationship. Mine is pretty much exactly thataway. I happily do the majority of the housework and dh does all the manly stuff. Every now and then, though, he will dust or vacuum, and he helps after dinner by sweeping under the table and keeping the kids occupied and out of my hair. He spends a great deal of time with us as a family, all his spare time actually, which is a great help. If he spent all his free time golfing or playing video games I'd probably be singing a different tune. My kids are older (8yo daughter and 5yo twins, boy/girl) so now things are easier to do than when they were littler. I can run errands with them and they can keep out of trouble long enough for me to exercise daily at home. I treadmill and do a balance ball pilates video routine on a regular basis. I'm also lucky that my ils are retired and happy to be my sitter. I used to get out of the house by myself weekly, but since I started posting here I'm much less stir crazy and the amount of alone time I feel I need has decreased to about once a month.

I hope this helps!

Erin

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