I am so bored

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
I am so bored
13
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 12:23am
I have been a stay ta home mom for 6 years now I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old. I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog day, every day is pretty much the same thing. I am depressed my husband works 12 hour days 6 days a week so I can stay at home. ( there are no breaks for me on Sunday its his break.) My 6 year old is going through a wear me down argue me to death stage, my 15 month old is killing my back and I am overwieght by about 50 pounds and no outlet to loose! I am so bored, I am forever busy there is never anytime for me, however if something new happend that would be so exciting I think i might explode. I am in PTA ( boring) all moms work no one has time to talk. What do you guys do to keep yourselves sane? First time first post one this site obviously!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 1:47am
I feel ya, I have a three year old and a seven week old. I live away from my family, and I have maybe two good friends were I live. Just wanted to say hugs, and that I don't think I am sane any more, lol.

Cari
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 6:46am
Hi! I know some days can be boring, but most of the time I think it's really fun being at home. If you keep busy doing things you all enjoy the time goes by so quickly. Go to the park, join a playgroup, go to the library, walk around the mall, go hiking in the woods...young kids are so easy to entertain and usually the things they enjoy most are the ones that don't cost anything. Just yesterday we sat and watched some skateboarders for over an hour and that was their favorite part of the day. Go for long walks with your little ones (either while your older one is at school or he/she can bike along). That is a great exercise program to help take those extra pounds off : ) Also try to get some time to yourself to do something you enjoy once in awhile.

Hope things get more fun for you soon!

Gwen
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 9:57am
Do you have a gym near you that has childcare?

We belong to the Y and they have a nursery. It keeps me sane. It would be cheaper to go to a commercial fitness center with free daycare, but I prefer the Y and we get to use the pools in the summer (when there aren't hurricanes -for goodness sakes they closed the pools this weekend and we aren't even supposed to get Ivan til Wednesday now!)

Another idea is to find out if your local library has storytime or playtime. I know 15 mos is young for story time, but when my oldest was that age, I took him anyway. There were always younger siblings of the older kids around for him to play with. You usually end up talking to the moms who are watching their younger ones. Even if the only time you see them is once a week or every other week, it is something.

Also, there is a national group called M.O.P.S. They meet once a month or so and the way I think it usually goes is that it is done at a church and someone watches the kids in the nursery while the moms have a meeting and talk about issues affecting them (I would guess there is some social time too). I haven't done this yet so I can't say how much focus there is on faith in the group, but I think they aren't too over the top and welcome everyone.

I know your Groundhog day feeling exactly. I have a 5, 2, and 1 year old and my dh (air force) is away from home most of the year and is gone from 645 til 6pm on good days and 14 hour days on bad days the rest of the time.

baby growth



New and improved siggy coming soon (which could mean after Christmas)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 11:21pm
Thanks all for your suggestions and hugs! I feel better today, we went to the zoo, cost a bundle but it was worht it. Everyone enjoyed it especially my 15th month old. Lama26 you sound like you are close I am expecting Ivan on Wesenday too ( praying he does not come here) Thank you again, I am knew to these boards but I already feel much better because I vented and someone heard!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 12:01am
Amy - I went thru the same thing... still do on some days. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I would go to Target, buy something, get it home and look forward to returning it if it wasn't "right," just so I could have another adventure planned for the day. I currently have a 4-year-old, 18-month-old and one more on the way. My husband works long shifts also. I have since gotten out of my "rut" by joining a play group and signing up for classes thru our community -- dance for my daughter, fun for ones for my son. Instead of taking one trip to the zoo, throw another $10-$20 into the ticket and buy a season pass. It will be well worth it -- especially if your kids loved it so much! Good luck, and don't let the walls close in on you guys. This is your opportunity to enjoy the little ones, be successful at it because it will be over with before you know it! PS: Your husband shouldn't get to be the only one resting on Sunday. You need that "break" as much as he. -Memel
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 8:40am
You put it well when you compared it to the groundhog day. Does feel like that about 75 % of the time.
I am sorry you are so alone and depressed. Have you tried looking for groups in your area with other moms? Where do you live? I might be able to help you.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you.
((((((((HUGS)))))))))


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-1998
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 2:08pm
Amy I live in south Georgia.

Are you in the Panhandle?

Dolli

baby growth



New and improved siggy coming soon (which could mean after Christmas)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:53pm

Hi!


I know how you feel! My 4 1/2 year old has developed a major attitude, and my 1 year old weighs 1/4 my weight! Plus, I need to be mentally challenged or I go crazy.


I love staying home, but I have to have variety of adult challenges. One suggestion is starting a hobby, or working from home (maybe more as a hobbiest then a business). There are lots of fun things, and it might get you out of the house once a week. Since you would be making money, you could pay for a babysitter. Just a thought. But you do need to find something that you find is fun, and gets you some "you" time.


You are an awesome mom for making so many sacrifices!


Debbie


------------------------------------


~ ~ Follow your passion!:&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 3:54pm
Ok, first of all, let me tell you that I understand, because I've been where you are. I've been a SAHM for almost 8 years now. Our oldest son is almost 8, and the twins (also boys) are 4. I've kept babies on and off for the last few years, as well. I know that the inclination is to feel like there's nothing fun to do, and just give up...but I have to tell you the hardest thing that I ever learned staying home--There will NEVER be an entertainment committee--you have got to create your own interests, and MAKE time where you feel like there isn't any. The 6 year old is at school all day, and at 15 months, it is time to PUT THAT BABY DOWN!! He, like you, needs to start finding ways to amuse HIMSELF, and unless there is something else going on that you didn't mention, he is perfectly capable of being left off of Mom's hip most of the time. You're his mom, not his private pony.

Depression is a nasty, ugly monster--one of it's absolute favorite tricks is to make us think that we're in an endless dark hole, when it actually has only pulled a thin blanket over our heads. So, here are some blanket removing tricks that I hope will help--

1. Go outside. You're right--there is something about your life that doesn't change. It's the scenery as long as you stay in the same spot day after day. Break your routine. Eat in the back yard on a sheet for lunch, spend the morning with the baby in a play pen and weed that one flower bed that looks like it is trying to turn into a jungle. If it's cool, wear a jacket, if it's raining lightly, take an umbrella and put on rubber boots--both kids would think it was incredibly cool to splash in puddles for a half an hour, and you will be amazed at how different you feel, just because you went out and DID something. Plus, walking, even around your front yard, will help you get a jump on that 50 pounds.

2. Get organized. I discovered at some point that whenever I thought that there was nothing to do, I was obviously in deep deep denial. So that it doesn't feel like the same thing each day, I put myself on a weekly schedule. When it says that on Monday, I clean the bathroom, it means I CLEAN the bathroom. I mean, obsessive compulsive overtones kind of clean. You'd be surprised how into helping little kids can get if you give them very specific jobs, and it is amazing how it makes the time pass to help supervise them, instead of just doing it yourself. Who knew that emptying out a closet to clean it and reorganize could eat an afternoon, lol... Besides, there is an incredibly cathartic feeling to just throwing out all the clutter, and ending up with a spotless space. It's harder to feel sad in a shiny, sweet smelling room that you feel proud of just finishing up. It means a lot to have a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day...

3. Claim your own time. Period. I know that your husband is working a lot of hours. I understand that he is doing it "so you can stay home". But, you are doing what you do so that both of your children can have a better life. And by "both" I mean both his and yours. It's not like you just spontaneously reproduced. You both have full time jobs. Yours just doesn't end at a specific hour. Fair is fair, you both need a "break" from the responsibilities of your jobs. So take turns. Every other Sunday, or at minimum once a month, take a "MOMMY DAY". Leave. Even if you have no clue where to go to, and no idea what to do. Even if you drive to the park with a book and a blanket, or go walk around the mall window shopping, or some other equally inane activity--it is YOUR time. I occasionally will pack off my husband and the boys to go visit his mom. She wouldn't admit it, but she actually loves getting her son all to herself for a day, without me around, and being the star attraction to the grandkids. That leaves me with several hours to do a facial, take a bubble bath, and just be a lazy bum :) Beyond that one day, pick a time in the evening that you will do something JUST for you. Put your kids on a bedtime schedule and MAKE IT STICK if they aren't already. Nighttime is for grown ups. Period. Even if you just give yourself a really good manicure and pedicure, you need to do something to remember that you are special, above and beyond the job that you do for your family.

4. Find a hobby. Even if it's a goofy one. I have several hobbies that I will admit, most people would think that I'm an absolute goober for enjoying. As in my whole house is now covered in rubber stamped stuff. And I have personally learned that candle making wax will not come off of linoleum very easily. I know that it's hard to figure out things that a)are actually interesting b)don't take your whole bank account to finance and c)won't leave you even more frustrated that you started out. I picked one corner of my yard, had my husband put a picket fence around it, and turned it into my little protected haven flower garden. No kids allowed, so it's got shiny glass stuff everywhere. I found out that I'm really really bad at hand quilting. Good information to have. I started taking black and white photographs of the kids, and of things around our home and yard, and bought a set of photo coloring pens. I volunteered to help in the garden at a local retirement home--I take the kids once or twice a month, we go over, and weed the garden, and rake the leaves in their courtyard, and generally just make it pretty for them. They LOVE seeing the kids (a lot of them don't get visitors at all, much less their own grandkids) and it breaks up our week so that we're out of the house--plus it's helping them out, so that's like a double bonus :) Just something that is just yours.

If you feel like there's no time for any of these things, then realize this--there will always be more laundry, and the dishes are never going to be completely done, since there's always going to be more on the way. The kids are always going to need things, or learn different and surprisingly frustrating habits, and your husband is perpetually going to find new and interesting ways of making you nuts. These facts are beyond your conrol. What you can control is the person that you decide to be inside of all of that. When you realize that you are in a rut, stop, close your eyes and take a deep breath, and change directions. Speak up for yourself, to your husband, and your kids--being loving doesn't mean being a doormat--a lesson I learned the hard way, by not ever complaining about feeling sad until it was almost all that was left of me... So do what you need to do to be a happier person--it will make you a better wife and mom along the way.

Good luck, and keep your spirits up.

Angela

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 11:57pm
I understand the frustration. Hang in there, it will get better.

Leanne

http://www.internetmoms.net/cgi-bin/team.cgi?id-le109545&action=show

Pages