I cant live this way anymore, advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
I cant live this way anymore, advice
15
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:26pm

Hi ladies,
I dont post here often I am more of a lurker but I could really use some advice! I am a SAHM to my 1 year old daughter Danielle. She is such a joy, but is getting into everything and starting to walk, and she is at times very clingy too. I am still breastfeeding but plan on weaning soon. I had bad post partumn depression but then felt better especially when with family, friends and being outdoors helped as the months went on. My depression was much worse in the winter.
What is concerning me is that I have always been afraid of bees (got stung a long time ago and have been afraid every since) Well a week ago I took my neice and daughter to the park, I had no perfume on and the bees kept following me and they were on my daughter, I thought maybe I was near a nest but everywhere I went they kept following me! I have always been afraid of bees, but my fear is now to the point where I get nervous and very paranoid going out for a walk during the day with my daughter, even when I dont see any bees I get chills and cant enjoy our walk. I used to walk with her several times a day and now I am lucky if I get one walk in. I hate feeling this way :(
I have two dogs that I used to love but I find myself yelling at them and not giving them the love that they deserve, I used to adore my sweet doggies, not the case anymore Im afraid...ugh I have a very short temper with them.
Also I am terrified to drive again. I havent driven in years and am even more afraid to drive with the baby. I always say Im going to drive and then I make excuses. Anytime we go out with our family, dh ends up driving. I never used to be scared and used to LOVE to drive everywhere even new places and even took road trips. I got the courage to go for a drive today and had trouble putting the key in the ignition then I cried and thought to myself its just not meant to be. I just cant live like this anymore truly. I want to get back to how I used to be. I feel like a failure as a Mom and as a person in general. I really truly feel like the scum of the earth. My daughter deserves soo much better.
I really think I have anxiety and need medication but am scared to take anything especially since Im still breastfeeding my daughter. Is there anything I can do to get back to normal please please help? Can anyone relate?

Thanks soo much for listening!
Monica

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:38pm
Monica, it sounds to me like you are a wonderful Mom who loves her daughter very much.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:38pm
Talk to you ob/gyn right now !
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:59pm
I personally don't suffer from anxieties, but my step daughter does. She has inherited this from her real mother. Her mother sought council and takes medications for this, it has changed her life immensely. She can now drive on the interstate, when she couldn't drive at all before and she can be around people and function well now in situations she couldn't before. We are very proud of her she has come a long way. If Mandy (My stepdaughter still shows signs of this when she gets older we will not hesitate to help her thought medication if necessary.) It makes for such a better quality of life, there are many options available that can change your life for the better! I suffered ppd and I sought help and made it you should too, it will make you feel like a new person! {{Hugs!}}

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:21pm
Thanks soo much ladies! I cant imagine what brought all this anxiety on but I definitely feel overwhelmed! It doesnt help that dh has a new job and longer hours, I am with the baby from 7am until 8pm, no help from friends or family. I try very hard to entertain baby, keep the house clean, cook etc. I have a supportive DH but sometimes he just doesnt get how hard it is to be a SAHM.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:22pm

I honestly dont think I could get through the day without medical intervention.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:31pm
Hi Vanasa!
I feel the same way! Sometimes it takes me forever to get myself and baby ready then I tire myself out and end up staying home anyways.
Not only is she clingy but she now throws tantrums when she doesnt get her way, bangs fists, tries to bang head on anything, arches her back...lots of fun...sigh
What med to you take if you dont mind me asking?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:44pm
I'm right there with you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:45pm

I take an SSRI uptake inhibitor, basically in the same class as Prozac but Dr. can help you find what works for you.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:49pm
Thank you! I would love to chat more!
Monicalee23@hotmail.com is my email address
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2005
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:52pm
Monica - CYE!
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