i can't take this anymore!! VENTING

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
i can't take this anymore!! VENTING
8
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:45pm
Please. Someone give me someting to get through today. I am a pretty new mom (my son is 4 1/2 months old) and I adore him. I am fortunate to have found a way to stay home...by watching another girl's baby girl. She is 10 months old. Well, she is the fussiest baby I've ever met! Not to mention she craps like 5 times a day when she is here. She is wearing me out! It is hard enough to stay patient with my own when he starts crying, but she is on my last nerve. Today, she is at her all time worst. I know that she is teething, and so I have given her teething tabs, but nothing is working. I finally just put her in her crib in the other room and shut the door because I couldn't handle her anymore. I wish I didn't have to take care of her, but we need the money. If I didn't watch her, I would have to return to work outside the home. Her mom is a teacher, so fortunately I'll have this summer off, but she'll be back in the fall. Which leads me to another dilemma...I am not charging these people NEARLY enough money. I've called around, and the daycares would be charging them hundreds more a month than I am, and I would think that the situation she is in is much better than a daycare. But, how do I tell them now that I am going to charge them more money? There are other families that want me to watch their kids for them, and I'd much rather watch theirs that this little brat, but I can't even go there. The mom is so grateful and she said that her baby is so much happier since coming here. Too bad I don't feel the same way.

As a matter of fact, most days I can't stand the idea of her coming here. She is so annoying! What is wrong with me? I feel like the worst person in the world. I sit here and tell myself that she is just an innocent baby, but then again I honestly feel contempt for her most of the time. She demands more attention from me than my baby that is half her age! Shouldn't he be more of a handful?

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 5:28pm

Relax and know there will be an end to the day.

   

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 6:02pm
hey sweetie, we all know the feeling, so vent away! lol. no real advice on the annoyance factor, other than that's an essential part of raising kids, be it yours or someone elses.

but about the amt you charge for baby sitting, you should really check out what the going rate for home care is in your area. it's usually not at all comparable to daycare, especially if you're caring for your own child too. around here daycare runs about 100$ to 150 a week, and home care is anywhere between 50$ and 75$ a week. so it's usually considerably less for home care. if you get the paper you can check and see what others are charging and see if you are doing it for less than you should. just a thought....

anyway, hope you're feeling better soon,

clarity

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:17am
I think you just need to find a solution to her teething at this time..

I have a home business, that we do have great products for those little teethers, bum rashes, exzema, asthma, etc, plus not to forget laundry and cleaning products that would illiminate all those stuffy nose , etc....

email me;

smichaud@eastlink.ca
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:42am
Hi there,

Have you tried Baby Einstein videos? My ds always loved them and still does (he's 15 months old). As kids get older they get easier to handle in some aspects and more demanding in other aspects. For example, my son is now old enough to entertain himself for a little bit, but when he wants me he comes over to me and grunts and holds his hands up for me to pick him up. Putting the baby in the playpen or crib and shutting the door is something everyone has done. YOu have to for your sanity at times. By the time the baby comes back after summer break, hopefully she will be over the whining. Have you talked to the mom and found out if she is like that at home? and what they do to calm her?

I don't know how much you charge, but my part time sitter charges $85 for up to 45 hours of service. However, for children under 1 she charged $150/week. I only pay $20 /day because ds only goes once in a while (when I need to write a paper for school, etc.). There were a few people around the area that were more expensive. I only called one actual daycare center and they charged $150/week.

Don't be afraid to ask for more money if your rates aren't comparable to other at home daycares. My friend used to do daycare in her home full time, but after having twins she now only has one family (two girls) part-time. I think she charges them more now do to the part time status, but I'm not for sure.

Good luck,

Tanya

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 10:31am
i know how you feel..... i dont tolerate whiney kids at all.but youdo have a light at the end of the tunnel. if the mom is so grateful for you, then talk to her,ask her her advice to keep the kid from crying all the time.if you ask any pediatrition, seperation anxiety starts right at 10 mo.. and that could be part of her problem..you are probably right now at the end of the worst of it all.... and once you get her acustume to your routine and home, she might turn out to be a great kid to have around... babies are so much easier to do that with then older kids ... here is my personal advice, you have it made watching a teachers kid, i have a friend who does ONLY teachers kids cuz she wants her summers off, and the teachers just love it, cuz they dont have to reserve anyone for a year and then after summer is over hope the person has a spot, or find a new sitter. and the sitter loves it, because she has the summers to spend with her kids. also, the money thing, depending on how low it is.. make a deal with the mom..... since you arent paying me going rate, then you cant claim it on your taxes, which means you dont have to either...just a thought.... i did that with my sisters, one sis just DIDNT get it.that since i as charging 40 bucks less a mo then any other home care, that it all comes out in the end, she was actualy saving more money then she would have claiming it on her taxes....... good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2000
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 11:45am
Okay, I realize that you are just having a very bad day. But I would highly suggest that you consider the possibility of putting this family on notice that you aren't going to be watching their child anymore. Maybe give them until the end of the school year. Maybe only two weeks notice. But at least there would be an end in sight and you could view the situation differently (Only four more weeks. I can get through this...) Maybe you could make some discrete inquiries and find out whom you can line up as a replacement client and how much you can charge someone else, when you can start with someone else's child to care for, etc.

As a stay-at-home-mom with your own child, I know you'd be mortified if you heard somebody else refer to your baby as a "little brat" or "annoying" or too poopy (even if it were somewhat true). You'd probably also be upset if you were paying someone else to care for your child and the caregiver put your kid in a room alone and closed the door just to get a break from the kid (this may have been for 5 minutes, you didn't specify. But I'm assuming that it was for longer.)

If it were me, once I'd "decided" that a child I was caring for was an annoying little whiny crying snot that drove me insane, it would definitely show in my interactions with the child. I wouldn't talk as sweetly, be as patient, or cuddle as much with a child I'd deemed to be a giant pain in the butt, even if it isn't her fault.

I guess it just sounds like this isn't an ideal situation for you or the child. I hope, at some point, you decide to make some sort of change. At the very least, tell the family that you have had a change of circumstances and won't be able to care for their child in the fall.

I sure hope you get through the day/week - Suzanne

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 12:16pm
i know how you feel. i also watch other children at home so i can stay home with mine. but i have 4 children of my own.i agree with everything these ladies have said. they are all good advise. i get those babies once and awhile that are like that. i just tolerate it because if i did not have any children to sit for i would have to go back to work (dh orders) and then i would have to pay the child care. i would start talking to the mom and find out what she does with her when she is fussy. i would also show her more attention when your son is quiet. i always have to remember that she depends on me when she is in my care so i am like her part time mom and treat her like my own child. but i always ask the mom what she wants first.

as for the money, same advice as the other ladies check out what other home cares are charging. i charge $3 an hour for the first child and $1 for the second child. and i provide the meals unless it is a baby or the parents want to bring food.

heidi

ds 9, dd 7, ds 5, ds almost 3

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 1:23pm
Hi! My MIL takes care of babies. Every once in awhile she will get one of these that is just difficult and you don't click. I think it would only be fair to the other family to take thier child somewhere else. I am sure there are other options. Also stand up for yourself and don't be afraid to ask for more money. You are running a business, not a friendship. I think at this point you would be happiest with a newborn. It is easier to work with another child if yours has already been through the stage. Good luck! Jules