I feel sad for DS
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I feel sad for DS
| Sat, 01-22-2005 - 12:14am |
Lately I've been feeling sad for DS. When ever DH gets mad at him he'll call him names. I told DH not to do this cause it might give him a complex. Today he called him a 'little bastard' in front of my family. I was so embarrassed. He also calls him a 'little sh*t', stupid, and idiot. It just makes me so sad that DH says these things to a four year old.

I first wanted to welcome you to the board. I am Traci mom of two boys ages seven and three.
I have to admit that I became very angry on your child's behalf. My first instinct was to lash out, but I know that is not the right thing to do. I have a lot of empathy for children who are abused. I know that word "abuse" may shock you , but I beleive that is what is going on.
The words may be uttered by any adult--a parent, teacher, favorite relative and so on. Coming from a trusted adult, they can hit as hard as a fist, sometimes much harder. No bones are broken, but the words leave vicious emotional scars. Inflicted repeatedly for months or years, the bruises heal slowly and can shatter a
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I first want to say I feel very badly for you to have to watch your DH do this to your son. But you need to stop these actions now, your little boy is going to suffer if it keeps going on. My brother-in-law treated his son like that, called him names-girl, stupid, bastard, I think he called him everything really...When he was 2, he peed on the floor and my brother-in-law shoved his face in it like he was a dog. My sister felt afraid so she never really said anything in fear her husband temper would be out of control. My family would ALWAYS yell at him when we would see him treating his son like that, but it only created problems. Well, now that little boy is 6 years old and he has a TON of problems, ADHD, he has NO confidence, hard time socializing with other children, a horrible temper and he swears constantly, the list just goes on. It's really a shame, he's such a sweet boy and JUST child and had to be abused like that...I would do something immediately, goodluck
kate
My husband was abused by his mom for years when he was a child, called dumb, stupid and so on. It was horrible.
I think he needs to be seated and told this is not acceptable by no means!
You are the mother and you need to protect your child from this.
Good luck and I hope that this abuse stops soon.
How very, very sad, that is just terrible!! Your DH has no right to treat anyone like that, it is verbal abuse.
Try talking to your DH in private and see if something is upsetting him. Make sure he understands that abuse of any kind is unexceptable in your home and that both of you should be protecting your son. Tell him you are there to help him through anything but that if this goes on you will have to step and and protect your son.
I feel so bad for your poor little guy!
I agree with the other posters that this has to stop now. Your husband needs to know in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable on his part. He needs to find other ways of dealing with his anger. This is emotional abuse which is as bad as physical abuse. This is something that will stay with him the rest of his life. You need to be the one to stand up for your son and protect him from this in any way you can. If you continue to not say anything and allow your husband to continue this then you are no better than him and are being a part of this emotional abuse. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Please be brave and step up to the plate and do something to stop this or find someone else that can help you with it. Please, for your son's health and wellbeing.
Trish :)
And you haven't left this man because.....
You don't need to feel sad for your son, you need to feel mad.
If my DH EVER said anything like that to our son, the locks would be changed the very next day. And he wouldn't be allowed into the house or see our son until he had gotten therapy.
it breaks my heart to see children verbally abused... I witnessed a lot of it growing up.
I agree with everyone else... this is your son, and you have a responsibility to protect him. Be careful though, from what I've seen people who are verbally abusive have physically abusive tendencies as well. Get help from family and friends if you need it, but bring it to an end.
you and your son are in my prayers...
Your son is being verbally abused. You are the only person who can stand up for your child and defend his right to not be treated that way. He is going to suffer from poor self-esteem if this continues. This situation should not make you sad, it should make you angry. The poor kid is only 4 and cannot stand up for himself. That is your job as his mother. Since you were embarassed that dh did this infront of your family, then it sounds like it was something they did not like and therefore you would have their support. Maybe one of them would help you talk to your dh. Please do something about this and don't let it continue. Your dh needs to know that this is not okay. If this does continue, it's your little boy that will suffer.
Molly
Everyone is absolutly right. You cannot allow this to continue. My girls and 5 other children were attacked on saturday by some boys who have suffered the verbal & emotional abuse of their parents. These boys (ages 10 & 12) find it satisfying in some way to intimidate and belittle children who are smaller and younger than they are. I guess it makes them feel important or grown up some how. After saturdays incident we turned the boys in to the police, and they are now facing charges in juvnille court. Please don't let your son go thorugh this, I too will be praying for the two of you.
Jody