I have a m-i-l question.....
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| Thu, 10-12-2006 - 5:06pm |
Ok, so I mentioned earlier that my m-i-l has taken it upon herself to plan a "family" christmas vacation for next year but, I have already made plans for my family (hubby, me and both girls) to spend that xmas with my sister, hubby, and their 2 kids. I have not had a holiday with my family since moving here over 4 yrs ago and neither has my sister. Her hubby is military and they live right outside of Seattle but, in the next year they will be re-locating to Michigan or Ohio and we have already planned to spend the first xmas that we can together. Neither my hubby nor I want to go to a cabin for christmas. So my question is this......should I let it go and hope m-i-l does not bring it up or do I tell her now? Hubby says to tell her now. I say hubby needs to stand up to her and tell her. She will throw a fit and tell me how I'm tearing this family apart and blah,blah,blah as she has done in the past and will not speak to me for a month, as she has done in the past.
Should I just get the inevitable over with now or later?
Meghan

Meghan, I think that your dh should tell her and he should do it now.
I would have your husband tell her now otherwise after all the plans are finalized it might be worse. If she can't understand you wanting to spend time with your sister then that is her problem. Or you might try maybe making the "christmas" with her either in early dec or sometime in January. With us having family in different states Christmas either entails all his famil (5 has five brother, all married with kids, plus mom and dad) and my family coming here. Which could work, but with 10 children and 6 dogs as it is we dont have that kind of room, or we have to break it up. What usually happens for us is that we go to one for Thanksgiving and have Christmas also then and then the other around Christmas time. However my husband has talked me into everyone coming here this year, luckily everyone is staying at a local hotel and will just come over every morning. I know I am gonna be ready for January so that I can rest, lol.
Good Luck,
Jennifer
&nb
I agree with the other posts. IMHO it is dh's "job" to talk to mil. Holiday time is a really big issue in most families. Your mil should be happy she "had" you all those years to herself. I have a bil that my dh has not seen for 5 years b/c every year we are able to travel back for Christmas his ex has the kids. bil has to choose to see his brother or spend at least Christmans Eve with his kids. A pretty easy choice if you ask me. We even call months in advance to see if we can coordinate it but it never works out. Luckily we will be home for Christmas this year and New Years with my family.
Debra
My hubby will not "confront" his mom. He does not like confrontations and he and she do not get along real well anyway. Either way, I'm going to be the bad person. Exmaple: my b-i-l lost every single picture and video from the birth of our second daughter and I did not speak to him for over a year and would you believe that m-i-l had the nerve to tell me, "this family is small enough and you're just tearing us apart." I guess, by now, I should just expect that he won't stand up to her. She is so slefish that she won't care that she's had us for the past 4 xmas's plus this year too. Oh well. I guess we have to pick n choose our battles, hey?
Thanks for your thoughts and opinions. I was just curios to see how others viewed this issue.
Meghan
It's your husbands family, therefore his responsibility. And in him doing so he shows loyalty and respect to you, hopefully setting an example and reducing the likelihood of a mil/dil clash. He should definitely tell her now, waiting could cause problems later if she makes reservations.
Erin
((Meghan))
I agree with everyone that it is your dh's responsibility to tell her, but if he won't do it then you have no choice but to say something to her yourself... then if she has a problem, just say "he and I have made the decision to do this and if you have a problem with it, talk to him about it."
I hope everything works out ok!