I know I haven't been around, but...
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 04-28-2005 - 1:01pm |
I really need to unload, and I remember how great you ladies always were to me...
I am still going to school and staying home with my little ones. I am on the last leg of achieving my associates degree. My two choices were to take LOTS more hours this past semester or to face facts that I have to wait until next spring to graduate. Well, I just didn't have the heart to pull my family through the ringer just so I could jump the gun on graduating. So, I have two semesters left (next Fall and Spring). Falltime I will be full time and then I will just have about two classes left until I'm done. I am so excited that things are working out SO well. At this rate, I will get my Bachlors Degree plus my own classroom right when our "baby" (who is now 3.5 yrs) is going into Kindergarten (I was planning on when she was in First grade, but I'm just getting SO anxious now!). I figured I was getting the best of both worlds this way: stay home with my kids (I'm taking night classes until next Fall, then I have to take day classes, but I'm hoping to arrange it to be during the hours my youngest is in preschool and my middle child is in Kindergarten) and be equiped for a career that I worked hard at accomplishing.
Well, there has to be a kink somewhere, right? I think that I might possibly be pregnant (completely unexpected). I am SOO heart broken. My DH would LOVE another baby, and I think he already has his hopes up that I am pregnant, and I really have contiplated having another, even though I've been saying that we are done every since my last pregnancy. BUT... I would feel like I completely failed myself if I felt obligated to drop out of school. :( I couldn't dream of not staying home with this baby, but I can't even consider dropping out of school. I do have the option to finish my associates degree online (especially since by the time my baby was born, I'd only have the two classes left), but I could not possibly earn my teaching certificate online. I am scared to death that if I even PAUSE in my education, I would never go back. It really is like a nightmare of mine. I know it wouldn't be the end of the world or anything, but for me being a highschool dropout going to college, I really do have a phobia about it.
I really can't believe this is even happening to me! We have been diligent on practicing natural family planning (DH probably knows more about my cycle than I do, that's how big of a part of our NFP he is). My cycle has been so screwed up lately (which SHOULD have been a big sign to be careful!!). If I am pregnant, it is because I SHOULD have been getting my period when I ovulated (I was caught so offgaurd, I'm not even sure I ovulated). I was on day 31 of my cycle when we weren't being "careful". You'd think we'd have been safe, wouldn't you??? UGH! The part that totally sucks, if I did get pregnant (it was just this past weekend), I still have over a week to go before I'll know the answer!! I HATE waiting. I would rather know either way than to wait!!
I know that having another baby wouldn't be the end of the world, but I would feel SO torn in two if I am having one. I can tell you right now, I will be critisized all around if I am. DH's family think it's completely irresponsible for us to have more than two children (we have three right now). Especially because DH is our sole income (what a MOOCH I am!). UGH! I'm rambling now! LOL If I weren't before! Anyway thanks for being there for me! :)

Angie... first of all great big ((((hugs)))) to you!!! I'm so glad you decided to come back and "see" us :o) You've definitely been missed!
Can't say that I know what to tell ya sweetie... I've been trying to finish getting my associates ever since I graduated 13 years ago LOL. It's difficult when you're pregnant and have little ones... and don't worry about what the family thinks whether you're pregnant or not... it's none of their business.
If you can take some classes online, then that would probably be a good idea. We can definitely be your encouragement and support to help motivate you to finish and get your teaching certificate.
If there's one thing that I've learned, it's that God will never give you more than He thinks you can handle... there's a reason for everything :o)
Don't worry, it will all work out!!!
kate
So good to see a post from you!!
I really do not know what to say. I guess you will just have to wait and see...I know that waiting sucks. I hope everything works out for the best!! (((HUGS)))