I need your advice
Find a Conversation
I need your advice
| Tue, 01-23-2007 - 11:36am |
We are having trouble sleeping arrangements and temper tantrums.
| Tue, 01-23-2007 - 11:36am |
We are having trouble sleeping arrangements and temper tantrums.
Welcome back Valerie. Sorry it's been so rough for you. It sounds like Christian misses his mommy, and has found a surefire way to get you all to himself, to get you to stop with the baby and pay sole attention to him. Smart lil' buggars aren't they!? Have you tried increasing the amount of one on one time he gets with you through out the day? Setting and keeping a specific bedtime routine that you do with him, just him?
I know the feeling that you've somehow perminently damaged your first born by having another. I think all those "experts" are right when they say you should, when having to deal with whos needs to meet first, go for the first born because the younger knows no different, but the older vividly remembers when mommy had all the time in the world for him/her. Not every single time, you don't want to raise a neurotic narcissist, but I hope you KWIM.
As for the sleeping, no it is not unreasonable to have him sleeping in his own bed in his own room. Especially since he was doing just that pre-brother. I don't have much advice other than consistancy. What ever you choose to do, do it consistantly. One time of giving in and the deal is null and void, you start from square one.
I know your stressed out and tired. My two oldest son's are 17months apart and I breast fed. I also was a teacher in a private school for two year old's for 3 years. Whether you had another baby or not your two yr. old would most likely try to not sleep in his own bed after the newness of the bed wore off. Is there anyway to have your two yr. old help you put the baby to bed at night(even if it's just until he falls asleep)? Maybe a bassinet or pack-n-play with the bed at the top? Yes he is probably feeling a little like he is being replace, but he will get over that. You didn't mess up with your two yr. old by having another baby, he just has to get used to the change of life. Have you tried taking a spray bottle with water and letting him spray the window before he goes to bed at nap or night time so that he can spray the scary part away and then leave the spray bottle in the room with him? Have you tried reading to him and sticking to your guns so to speak with him about him abosolutely not getting up after that? Two year olds are masters at munipulating good example is him making himself throw up. Two year olds have to have constant repetive discipline. They are very bright and if they can figure out that your stressed or tired at a certain time everyday then they will also figure out how to munipulate a situation into getting what they want! I know it's amazing, but they are very intuitive! Sometimes when you think it's just easier to just let them get away with something you pay in the end. I always try so tell myself with my kiddos if I give an inch now they will take a mile later. It may take a week or so, but just keep putting him back in his bed, don't talk to him after he is put to bed, make eye contact, or turn on any extra lights. Just keep putting him back and back and back until he gives in, you don't want to give up before him or he'll have you all figured out. Once you do the putting back repetively every night for 3 to 4 days he should stop. Also always reward him the when he wakes up and praise him for staying in his bed, once he does. Hopefully this helps. Good Luck you'll make it, it's just hard right now and I know your very tired.
Staci
I've been wondering if I am going to have a similar problem with Noah when the new baby is born in April. Noah slept with us until he was six months old and we plan to do the same thing with the next so I'm waiting to see how that will all work out.
I don't think it's unreasonable to have him sleep in his bed. He is probably just missing out on that mommy time he was used to before. I know that it can be kind of hard to go without that time but would it be possible to not lay him down for his nap in the afternoon? It sounds like you're
He is finally asleep.