I think something is wrong with Tyler!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
I think something is wrong with Tyler!
9
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:32pm

Hi Ladies,
I'm really worried about Tyler and I don't know if I have a real reason to be or if I'm a paranoid mom.
Here's the deal:
Ever since Ty was a baby he HATES, HATES, HATES being dirty. He's a very rambunctious and active kid, but he HATES being dirty - if he plays in a sandbox he will demand a bath that nite etc. When he was a baby he ALWAYS (from the moment we brought him home from the hospital) would let us know if he was wet or poopy - we never had to guess. As he got older he got more finicky. He HAS to have a napkin at dinner and he will use it after EVERY bite. If he has to dip something in a sauce of some sort he will order us to roll up his sleeves and he will wipe his hands after every bite.
Well - I never really thought anything of it, until today.
I've instituted a craft hour in my daily schedule to give Ty and I some time together without the baby - and also so I can start teaching him how to use glue, scissors, etc. Today I decided we would do homemade finger paints. When I brought the idea up to Tyler he was thrilled and excited. So I dressed him in a HUGE shirt of Daddy's to protect his clothes, mixed up the paints, sat us down at the table, squeezed out the paint and INSTANT meltdown. And I'm not talking some mild tears - I'm talking SCREAMING, WAILING, HUGE crocodile tears, drooling, holding his breath - the whole shebang ALL because he didn't want to put his hands in it. So I did it first to show him it wasn't that bad and it was fun and he refused. So I took his hands and FORCED them into the paint (I know, probably not the best of ideas) and the fit got worse. So, then....I...bribed him...yes, I admit it. I bribed him. I told him if he put his hands in it he could have a sucker - well he STILL refused (that says something) but after 5 minutes of encourgement he finally stuck in some fingers. After that he started wailing to be wiped and to get his sucker - so I realeased him from his private hell, cleaned him up, redressed him and now he's perfectly calm sitting on the couch watching Blue's Clue.
I'm so upset. I just don't know if this is normal. He's THREE and he HATES being dirty. If he gets something on his shrit I have to change his shirt - doesn't matter if I don't want to. If I don't I get a meltdown. He's obsessive about wipes - even wanting to sleep with one so he can stay clean thru the nite (don't ask, I don't know).
Would you talk to the doctor about this? Or am I just being paranoid? Please help me - this situation has got me SOOO confused, upset and worried!

Hugs,
K

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2002
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:53pm
Hi, first everything is going to be okay....okay? And I think I would say something to Tyler's doctor....just because I am sure the doctor has seen everything under the sun a child can do...therefore would know all about different kinds of behavior so you would feel more comfortable......it may just be he does not want to be dirty...or it could be more and if it is you need to know.....you can't effectively deal with something if your not sure what you are dealing with.....
But either way you and Tyler are going to be okay......
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:55pm
i'd ask a dr if thats normal, hugs hun. could it be an early case of OCD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:56pm

K,
It might ease your mind if you mention it to the doc. It does sound a little obsessive, but it's probably totally normal.

Good idea on the craft time and finger paints! Good luck!
~ Kristin
kristinmmyers@hotmail.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:02pm

K,


big (((hugs))) to you girl!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 4:29pm
My little brother was the exact way! He wouldn't eat anything sticky or messy like cheesies for an example he would scream if someone gave them to him for a snack (he was 4 at the time and I was 10 and it was movie night lol) He hated any type of mess he asked me to set up his train track when he was 3 and so I pulled out all the pieces into a big pile and he said no mess and I said well to set it up I have to make a little bit of a mess first and he bit a chunk of skin RIGHT OFF MY SHOULDER! And he also didn't like the sandbox or paints or anything like that. Now he is 14 years old and makes towers in the middle of his games room out of empty pop cans : /

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 5:18pm
It seems like everything is ok with him. Just some kids just don't like to get dirty, I would just encourage him, thats it's ok if he gets paint on his hands, and have fun with it. Dom doesnt like to eat with his hands--like sandwiches. He almost always makes me help him, but I tell him he can do it and its ok if his hands get dirty, and give him a napkin and he uses that. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 11:06am

Hey K, this post really stood out for me and had some red flags going off when I read this. Now first let me say I am not an expert or a Doctor so this is an observastion just from reading your post.


As a pre-k Teacher I had a child in my class named Randall who did just as you described. He was very sensitive and had to have all the tags cut out of his clothes, he could not sit under the air conditioner and refused to touch paint glue or any other sticky subject, he could only wear certain fabrics of clothing as well. He could only tollerate very firm hugs and a light touch triggered a defensive response in him that caused him to react in anger. If I am thinking correctly this is a condition called "Touch Sensitivity" it has a longer medical term but I can't remember what it is. Usually this condition is a componet of another condition. They can have other conditions like Asperger's Syndrome (as did the little boy in my class) ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, OCD and a few others. I know you have said you have a few medical conditions of your own that require medication which is the only reason why your post really stood out to me.


Now please don't let my own experiences worry you. This of course can only be diagnosed by a professional. I would definetely mention this to his pediatrician with emphasis on your own medical needs so that they thoroughly check it out.


It is my prayer for you and Tyler that he is just a really picky kid!!!!


Traci


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 11:53am

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and support.

Traci - I'm not worried about him having the touch sensitivity cause he LOVES being cuddled, can wear any fabric we put on him and what have you. He just doesn't like being dirty.
I talked to the doc about him yesterday and he said that he's not overly concerned, BUT he does want to keep an eye on it. So he told me to keep a journal dating when he goes off, over what, and the date. As he ages we'll see if it's getting worse and, if so, we'll see about figuring out the problem then.
He says lots of kids at this age have complusions over things and it's normal. One of his patients REFUSED to get in any shade of green car. That was just his thing. He's perfectly normal now. He said this COULD be the start of OCD or just the way Ty's ADHD will end up manifesting itself - but that we can't do anything about it now - and it might end up that he outgrows it too. So we'll just take the wait and see approach for now.
So the doctor really reassured me and we'll just hang in there and see how it progresses as he ages.

Thank you again for your wonderful support and thoughts. I thought this board was full of wonderful ladies but now I KNOW it!

Hugs,
K

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 1:12pm
I was this way as a child. I don't know about screaming, but I did hate to be dirty and I am just worse now that I have kids. Always washing their hands, have my anti-bacterial wipes with me and so on.
I see that Dalton hates sand, but other then that he loves to get messy, so I know I have not passed my bad habits to him.
Have you talked to your dr about this, see what he thinks?

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