If you really knew me...
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If you really knew me...
| Tue, 12-05-2006 - 3:52pm |
Did anyone catch Opera a few weeks ago where a high school's students and faculty met in the gym to get know each other?
| Tue, 12-05-2006 - 3:52pm |
Did anyone catch Opera a few weeks ago where a high school's students and faculty met in the gym to get know each other?
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Very interesting observation, Lesley!! We women are too hard on ourselves.
I have to say that I think insecurities stem from just being a person. Men and women have them in equal proportions, IMHO, but we deal with them differently. We are more vocal about them, because it's socially acceptable for us to be insecure, whereas it's not for a man to be. That's just my opinion, and I could be wrong, and I'm sure many of you will disagree with me on that. But I know my brother is insecure about his career, providing for his family and his troubled marriage, even though he may not say it unless he's put on the spot, and then he never uses words like "insecure." He'll say stuff like "I have a lot on my mind" or "My job is killing me." And my husband has insecurities that he won't verbalize either. Once in a while, when he's feeling down, or when he and I are having an especially emotionally intimate conversation, he will admit them to ME, but I've never known him to admit them to anyone else. Yet we as women can post about them, tell our girlfriends, sisters, mothers, etc. and it's OK, because we're not trying to live up to the macho expectations of the culture. In a way, we have a freedom that men don't have. Michael would not be caught dead admitting to his doctor buddies that he's insecure in any way, and I am the only outlet he has to share his fears, because he's been raised to believe that in our culture he is less of a man if he's afraid of anything. That is just not true of us. We're lucky we're women! I think in some ways, it's harder to be a man in our culture, believe it or not. Just my observations from having sisters, a brother, sons and daughters in equal proportions, and being so close to my husband, which gives me insight into his emotional make-up.
That said, I do agree that our identities as women often change when we get married and/or have kids. I am not immune to that either. I have several roles that I fill, and all of them have to do with wife/mother: There's the Mommy Role, there's the Mommy of Twins Role; there's the PTO Mom Role and Soccer Mom role and Karate Mom Role and Playgroup Mom Role, the Mom-of-Sons, the Mom-of-Daughters, SAHM, etc. Then there's the wife roles: Supportive Spouse of Someone With a High Powered Career, Doctor's Wife, Catholic Wife, Stay-at-Home Wife, etc. We become wife and mother in a way that our husbands don't become husband/father, but remain just men. I don't know if that's left over from centuries of us being submissive and at home, where men had the careers in the world which gave them their identity as successful and separate from anyone else; or if it's just an inherently female trait, but it needs to change. ITA! We are all strong women with many, many great accomplishments separate from our husbands and kids; and our husband and kids do not define who we are inside. Only we can do that for ourselves.
I absolutely adore my husband, and my kids also; but I am also Sofia, not just wife and mother.
Just my humble and typically outspoken opinion. . . ;)
ROSE!! YOU ARE **NOT** OLD!! OMG! And Kate, I don't need to know how old you are to tell you that you're a beautiful woman, and you probably will be at age 80.
Rose, they say the 40's are the new 30's.
I'm AMAZED by that poster on your other board. Tell her she's immature, LOL! ;)
Think about it: Aren't there some gorgeous older women? In their 50's and even 60's? I think there are. They are sexy in a certain way, because they have maturity, wisdom and grace, and they are certainly NOT old if they're in their 40's, or even 50's. The forties are not old!! I'm not there yet, but I'm not that far behind, either, and deep in my heart I know I'm not old, or anywhere close!
Why is it men can "age gracefully" and women can't?
Celebrate your age and your accomplishments! And when you're 70, you can begin thinking "old."
PS) When I turn 40 in a few years, will you send this post to me? LOL! . . . No, I'm really deadly serious. Michael told me just a few days ago that he thinks women in their 40's are hotter than women in their 30's and 20's because they finally know who they are. Yeah, OK, he says that at 38, but he's pretty hot himself!! LOL! ;)
Sofia
If you really knew me you would know that I am fiercely loyal.
Anyway, we all have our off days too, don't get me wrong. I can be a total poopy too!
arie
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