I'm feeling ridiculed by elementary kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I'm feeling ridiculed by elementary kids
8
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 9:17pm
I've been walking the baby (10 mo.) in the stroller to pick my DD (5) up from school each day and then walking home. It's a little over a mile each way and she is very slow, stops to lie down, says she can't make it, etc.

About the second week of school we started walking home with 2 girls who live 1 street over. One is in 2nd grade and the other in 5th. They liked to walk the baby, chatted with my DD, etc. I felt bad because I knew DD slowed them down and said a couple of times that they shouldn't wait for us if they had to get home.

Well, starting last week they've been ignoring us and then today when my DD ran up to them, they took a detour to avoid her, ran away whenever she got near, laid down like she does and then would get up and laugh hysterically about it.

I know my DD (kindergarten) will learn at some point that not everyone likes you and that people can be hurtful. I'm feeling really hurt by the whole thing and DH thinks I'm just silly. Please tell me I'm not the only mom who would feel a little hurt and ridiculed.

T.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 9:30pm
Even though our rational self knows we're at least 25 years older than those little snot-faced brats, our inner child wants to pull their hair and call them stupid-heads. Kids can be mean, it's safe to mean in numbers, as long as you're not the one being singled out. That's part of our pack mentality and there's really not a lot we can do about it considering all the lovely conditioning we get from t.v., peers, ads et al. Be very matter of fact about the situation if it would make you feel better. Ask the girls if it makes them feel good to poke fun of a little girl. Ask them if they'd like you to talk to their mothers (use fear...bwa-ha-ha). Or, as cliché as this may sound, use their behavior as a guide to teaching your own child how not to act, because she knows how badly it feels. They're just kids being kids, and as hurtful as it may seem, I honestly don't believe they realize how hurtful they're being.

Good luck. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 10:32pm
First of all (hugs) to you and dd. I don't think your being "silly" at all. If your feelings are hurt then that is how you feel. I agree with most of what the above post said, but I do think they know how hurtful they are being. And worse of all they are getting away with it. I would personally speak to them and tell them how just plain mean they are being. Otherwise how will they learn?








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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 8:38am
THat is sad that children must do that to one another.
I hope your daughter has not been hurt too bad from the actions of those kids.
She does not need people like them walking with her anyways.........


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 12:13pm

I am sorry but I would try a different approach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 2:31pm

I just wanted to clarify that I in no way meant for the origional poster

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 4:16pm

Was that response because of my response?

In my situation with the playgroup, I have no reason to confront this other mom nor a desire to. She has not hurt my child. I chose not be around her nor have my children around her. I am not disrespectful to her by not participating in her circle or letting her know that I chose not to participate in her circle and why. I don't even feel resentment or anger towards her. Her expressions were her personality, and that is who she is. My friend really likes this girl and I respect that...That is what I have chosen to do in this situation and I chose to share it as an example.

I gave the situation as an example of a mother who's word of protection are words of anger towards the other child. We, as mothers, love our children and want to protect them but the children are children and need guidance. I believe our children come first. And I do not agree that every situation we don't like needs confrontation. It is only my opinion.

I didn't mean that other responses were crazy and I don't think I implied that either. Sorry if I offended you and I understand what you are saying but did you read all of my "response"?




Edited 11/16/2004 5:31 pm ET ET by istlmomof2
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 8:09pm

Here is why I felt a little defensive of my response, to the response that you origionally wrote.


you said....


*I am sorry but I would try a different approach.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:12pm
Wow! Are we taking things a little too personal? No personal attack attempted today.


Edited 11/16/2004 11:32 pm ET ET by istlmomof2