Insecure Husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Insecure Husband
3
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 6:46pm
My dh stayed home with my ds last night for a couple of hours. When I got home, Mitchell had been crying for the entire time and husband was very frustrated (he is very impatient). I got Mitchell settled down and then to bed. When we went to bed, I said I love you and he grumbled something about being useless. I felt so bad for him. I told him that he helps out a lot around here and that I get frustrated too when he cries for a long time.
My husband just really has a hard time comforting Mitchell, getting him to stop crying. I don't know what to tell him. He gets disapointed then when he hands him to me and he stops quickly. I told him the he is more responsive to me because I am always home with him. He made a comment, "you know all of the tricks" I told him that he would too if he was home with him all day!
I just feel so bad for him. I get him little cards every once in awhile to say what a good dad he is...but when he can't comfort him, he really gets down on himself?
Any suggestions? We really have a very good relationship and are able to talk about things, but I'm just not sure how else I can make him feel like he is doing a good job. He is busy a lot, working and coaching so he is home for only a couple hours before bed time.
Thanks
Katie
QV
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
In reply to: baby_105
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 10:57pm

Katie, we go through this too, Lindsey just likes me better j/k it really is because I am with her all day and I bfeed:) I try to make sure that they have their time but it isn't very long so they can adjust and so if she does cry it's not for too long! And I always try to make it a big deal when dh comes home that we missed him etc. And Lindsey does love to look and laugh at him but she really likes to be held by me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
In reply to: baby_105
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 11:13pm
My dd (9.5mos.) is like that too. As soon as I take her she quits crying. If dh is trying to console her and I am suddenly in the room she goes ballistic. I think it is great that you are so supportive of your husband. Just my opinion, but he needs to stop sobbing about it and be patient. It will get better. I know my dh tends to feel that way about trying to sooth our dd too. You could try soothing ds together at first with you holding him while dh helps, then eventually have dh hold him with you still there; then just dh eventually. It helped with our first born, but he was not as needy for mommy as our dd is. Good luck. Sorry I could not be much more help.
Andrea
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: baby_105
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 11:48am
My husband is that only because he is gone 21 days and when he gets home things have changed due to Dalton getting older. He is out of loop and feels bad because of it.
I would just keep telling him how wonderful he is and more when he does something that makes your ds happy. That way he knows when he is helpful.
Good luck o you and him and way to go to him for trying so hard.

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