Instant Large Family?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-02-2004 - 7:09am |
It is a big day in our house, for alot of reasons.
Matt is signing a contract today for a role in an independent film! He is very excited and bouncing off the walls...lol!
I have always wanted a large family, but not from other childrens pain. DH got a call from his Grandma last night(which never happens), just to let him know that his sister has abandoned her kids again. She does this at least once a year, but we are far away from Dh's family and only hear about it afterword. Dh's mom has this thing where she doesn't like to "burden" him as she puts it since he lives so far away. These poor kids have had numerous stepfathers and boyfriends to deal with. They are also usually split up and at least one of the kids is always living with Dh's mom or Grandma. Right now there mom has sent them back to live with her younger sister while she decided to stay with her boyfriend who lives 600 miles away! She moved the kids in with her latest boyfriend and they were just kicked out of their home for not paying the rent. Dh's little sister is having a hard time taking care of them, since she works and has 3 little ones of her own and is living with her new husbands elderly parents.
Dh was so mad last night, I had to prevent him from driving down there right then to go and get them. It is a 9 hour drive and he would not have made it back to work on time. He is determined to go and get them, and says enough is enough. I agree, but this will mean a big change in our house for many reasons. We live in a renovated farm house that is 3 bedrooms and just one bath! That would be 8 people in one bathroom! So we would defenitely have to move! WE figure we would be able to move in August if things go well. He is not going to give his sister a choice though and as scared as I am to become an instant big family, I agree that it is time these kids have some stability in their life. Dh wants to go and get them this weekend so you could be seeing four extra names at the bottom of my posts!
I would appreciate any advice on how to raise large family's and just day to day basic operations of large families. There is a 15 year old girl, a 13 year old girl, and a boy 10 years old and a 4 year old. I am a little freaked out, and tossed and turned all night but am having better thoughts this morning.
Wish us luck and pray for our family if you will!

Wow, what a way to end your week. From a legal standpoint, can these kids stay with you? A concern of mine would be if DH's sister comes back in a month to take them back with her. All your hard work of taking care of them would go down the drain. Keep us posted.
Elyssa
So, I will be thinking of you and your decision and I am praying for a good outcome for my neice.
Elaine
SAHM to Daniel (5) and Emily (3)
I would suggest buying larger laundry baskets, and perhaps another clothes dryer, to accomodate the amount of extra washing you'll have to do. Once the kids have become comfortable and acclimated, sit down and discuss chores and who can do what. You'll need the help, trust me! I wish you the best of luck, you have a big job ahead of you, but you can do it. Just remember to take a moment to calm down and re-acquire your senses when you feel overwhelmed (which WILL happen!).
Carson - SAHM to six
HTH
Shelby
SAHM to Haylei
I read your post and it brought tears to my eyes. I think that it is so great that your husband loves these kids that much and that you jumped right on board! It is the sweetest thing!
I wish you all the luck and the tidbit about laundry baskets seems to make sense. I think that the thing that really comes to mind is a lot of love. I can't imagine how these kids must feel...especially the older ones.
Best of luck to you and thank you for being there for them.
--Gen
Andrew 5/6/04
Carson - SAHM to six
Thanks Carson for all your help and advice!
We are hoping to be able to go and get the kids next weekend. My Dh is on vacation for a week and a half and hopefully that will give us plenty of time to settle down. We got permission yesterday to come and get the two boys. The oldest just got a job but my dh, is going to talk her into coming here to. She is only 15 and dh and I both know that she probably is feeling she HAS to get a job. The thirteen year old is staying with her dad who is different than the other kids so, we are not sure what is going to happen there. Dh practically raised her when she was a baby though so she is very attatched to him and will probably want to move as well. As sad as it is I really don't think anyone is going to put up a fight....except dh that is!!!
Thanks again for your help If everything goes well I will hopefully
Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's
I just wanted to tell everyone...thank you so much for your support and advice!
Dh and I got permission to go and pick up the two boys next week. We were told that the fifteen year old was getting a job and the thirteen year old went to live with her dad, who lives in same town. The thirteen year old has a different dad then the others, so we are not sure what is going to happen there. We are determined to talk the fifteen year old to quite job and move away...we think she decided to get a job because the probably felt she had to!
We also found out that Dh can get his sister to give us temporary guardianship of the kids, and Dh can put them on his insurance. We are still talking about what we would do if she tried to get them back. Dh thinks she will not put up a fight and will probably just be glad to have them live somewhere for good. We are still going to hire a lawyer though when we can to cover all our options.
Thank you everyone again. Your kind words and encouragment really meant alot to me!
Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's