Is it just me???? Help!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Is it just me???? Help!!!!!
11
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 2:36am
I have an 8 month old girl (as of yesterday!) I love being a mom, and I love being home. I do wonder if I am doing enough for her.

A lot of my friends who have kids with in a month or two of her, seem to do so much more than I do. They take their kids from 5 months & up to things like swimming lessons... I thought that was weird, but never said anything of course.... some take them daily to the library for story time....Hello...the kid is only a few months old, read a book at home!!!! some take an hour drive to a different city 3 times a week to go to baby signing classes, and go to "mommy & me movies" on thursdays.

I wonder if I am just being lazy or a bad parent???? I play with my dd everyday, all day. I read to her, I sing songs, I change her, and feed her. I know her cries, and I know what makes her laugh, and what she dosen't like. Everytime I talk to my other friends, I feel like they think I am wrecking her by not making her more "cultured" What the hell.....she's 8 months old!!!!!!!!!!!! Or is it just me ?????????

Lesley

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 3:45am
All of those groups weren't available when DS1 was a baby, of course I lived in Alaska and no one's going to take their baby out in 40 below zero weather! I did play a lot of classical music for him b/c its supposed to make them smarter:)

Your not a bad mother for not going to those things. I have heard that baby signing promotes them to speak and have a larger vocabulary, but you can also get a video to learn how to baby sign.

There is no right or wrong way to parent. Its about what you think is important for your child, not what your friends feel is important.

Is your child health? Happy? reaching developmental milestone's? If so, then I'd say your doing a pretty good job:)

Mary


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 3:59am
Well, she seems to be doing ok... but I've never done this before!!!! What if I am missing something???? I am not saying I should be doing what my friends did, I personally think it's stupid. But my question is, how do you know if, and when you have done enough???? I have the "Baby Einstein" videos, we read books, we sing songs, she's fine.... but other people really are starting to piss me off!!!! Why can't people let you be you??? I am starting to wonder if everyone out there is a better mom than me!!!!

Thanks

L

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 8:55am
Just a thought, but could these people be doing these activities more for themselves than for their child(ren)? If these are other SAHMs, perhaps they're enjoying the company of other adults while doing an activity with their kids too. I know sometimes I sign my ds up for an activity just for an extra something to do that gets us out of the house, but keeps me from going shopping ;-)

Anyway, I'm sure your dd will be fine and won't be lacking. FWIW, here's a website that illustrates baby signs if you're interested - and don't want to spend gobs of money. http://www.kindersigns.com/anim_dictionary.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 9:45am
I think you are being a great mom, by just being there for your child. Loving and spending time with her is just as good as getting out and doing all that junk that those other moms are doing.

I agree with you that she is young, and maybe when she gets older it would be good to get out with her more, but she is young and probally is just as happy at home as she would be out.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 10:17am
I agree as well. We stay at home so that our children get to know us and the way we live our lives. I never took my first to any "activities" when she was a baby and she has turned out to be confident and popular with her school friends. Mind you she's only 6, but it's still a great start. I have a friend who takes her 3 year old and 1 year old to all the proper activities. Swimming, pottery making, etc and they are great boys but they don't seem any different than my kids. My friend had a hard time making friends growing up and she thinks that she' helping her boys by introducing them to others at a young age. I say go for it it can't help but it's not necessary. My kids go places with me , places I want to go...hockey games, restaurants, for walks, we learn about the world together and right now my youngest wants me not some structured activity. There's time enought for all that when he is older and asks to try something new. Shelley
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:18am
Hey Lesley,don't worry!You are doing a great job.I have a 5 month old son and I rock him and sing to him,and when he is older ,I will read to him.I think that alot of parents are trying to create "super kids" ,and causing them to grow up too fast.My sister and I did not have all those extras growing up,and we were very happy and well adjusted.I think that kids today feel too preasured when their parents have this mind set of making them "cultured"....etc.I think it is silly for them to do all that when they are little babies!All a little baby really needs is lots of love and attention,and as they grow up happy and well adjusted ,in a peaceful home ,they will learn all of these things at the apropriate ages.Don't rush things,just keep on loving and enjoying your little girl,and don't be intimadated by your friends!......Heather
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 3:30pm
It sounds like you are being a great mom! You are her ONLY mom so do what feels right in your heart and she will love you unconditionally for it. If you dont feel like she needs all that extra stimulation, screw it!! As she gets older she will want and need to have different experiences, you'll know when that time comes. Those parents are doing what they feel is the right thing for THEIR kids that doesn't make it right for yours. Your child will be GREAT because of the person you are not because she could swim at 3 months old and do allgebra at 6 months old.

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 4:10pm
I agree with you also. I am doing the same with my 9 month old. It just seems silly to go and do all that when they are so young. My son seems happy as a lark to run around the house all day while I chase after him. All my friends and family members ask me what my recipe is for such a happy and confident baby, and all I tell them is "lots of momma love!" Your doing great! I totally understand how you feel though. All the hype of baby signs and classes are so much pressure, and it makes it so hard just to enjoy your time together. When I start stressing about that kind of stuff, I just think that the best thing that I could do for him is what I have done already; STAYING AT HOME! :)

Chrystal

Nuressa@wazworld.net

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:35pm

I will tell you this, it seems as though someone ALWAYS has an opinion as to how you should raise your child, and someone is ALWAYS doing a better job.

<marquee scrolldelay="150"><font size="2" color purple facekristen itc>Lori-mother of Chandler 12-16-99, and
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 2:42am
Thanks everyone!!!!

I agree... it's so stupid that sometimes we need outside reasurance! I have nothing against all the extra curricular classes, I just think it's pointless at 8months. I fully intend on taking her to any sort of class she wants when she is old enough to understand what's going on! I know i am doing an ok job, it's just so frusterating to hear other people natter off about what they doing bla bla bla. It is constant!!!!

Thanks again to everyone!!!

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