Is it just me or...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Is it just me or...
11
Fri, 04-05-2013 - 8:09pm

Or do some kids/parents these days just have no respect or common sense at all! I took my kids to a local mall today that has a play area inside, and at the entrance to this area list rules as well as height restrictions. Well of course every time we go there there are at least a dozen kids that are too big to be in there, but as long as they are being careful and well behaved I let it go. But today there were three boys and a girl who were all WAY to big to be in there and were running around jumping over the smaller kids(including my 7 month old) and just paying no attention at all. I noticed that they had no parents are gaurdians anywhere around, so I politley told the oldest boy that he and his siblings were too big to be in the play area and they needed to sit on the side and wait for their parents. Well not even two minutes later they are all back at it again, so with a little more force in my voice I told them again and showed them off to the side to sit. The youngest who was probably ten, looked me dead in the eyes and said "this place is for everyone lady".They then proceeded to run and find a security guard and tell them that I was "being rough" with them. Of course I explained the situation to the security guard and he was understanding, but I was still practically scolded by him for telling them to stop playing in there! HELLO!! You post rules and regulations for this place but do nothing to enforce them! I felt that as a parent whose children were at risk of being injured I had every right to tell them to stop. I didn't yell at them, I didn't grab them, and I gave them a chance to do the right thing. Am I wrong????

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Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 04-05-2013 - 11:53pm

I definetly do not think you are wrong, good that you went to the security guard, even though he said what he said, maybe he doesn't have kids and just wanted the situation to quietly stop.  I have a 4 and 8 year old and I have seen the same thing you wrote about.  Twelve years old have to be careful for the little ones, and to do that, they don't need to be in a, "kids play area with slides....sigh"  Go find a place and let the toddlers learn to climb with you big kids knocking them over.

You did the right thing and I hope this doesn't happen again.  I sapose I would not be very professional to ask the "name" of the restuarant the play place was at (LOL).  Hope you feel better.

 

Avatar for j8songrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 8:00am

You most definitely are not wrong! You have a young baby, who has a right to play on the playset without bigger children knocking the baby over. My son is only 3 1/2 months, so I haven't had to deal with that as a parent, but I do have 6 nephews and 2 nieces. I took two of my nephews, who are 6 and 4 to the park and bigger kids were running around unsupervised (about 10 years old). Now, they weren't too big or old to be on the playset, but they were throwing mulch everywhere, so I told them not to do that. They didn't listen at first, but then I said it more sternly and they listened.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 1:44pm
Thanks! It was a play area in a mall, so it's not associated with any place other then that mall. Needless to say, it will be a while before we return there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 1:47pm
It drives me nuts when parents pay no attention to their children in places like that. At the parks I always make sure my 4 year old is in eye sight. I think was really irritated me was that this kid had the nerve to talk back to me. Really? Who raises these kids?!
Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 5:02pm

I think you were right to go to the security guard, but I would have taken it a step farther and gone to mall management.  No frickin' way is a ten-year-old going to talk back to me and then a security guard scold me for taking care that everyone who is SUPPOSED to be on the playground can have fun!

I was at the pool the other day and these girls were playing volleyball in the fitness pool -- fine -- and they kept batting the ball out of the pool.  Well, the lifeguard picked it up and told them that they'd get it back when they cleaned up the pool toys that they had been using (it was close to close).  One girl flat-out said "No", and the other girl had the gall to glare at the lifeguard and motion to him to throw it back.  She eventually did clean up the toys, but I couldn't believe that they would give the lifeguard attitude like that.  Strikes me that some parents aren't doing their job.  Parents and kids both at the pool also blatantly ignore the signs, like "Program Only" in the lesson pool, and the lane markers -- day before yesterday I had a twelve-or-so-year-old kid splashing around at the end of my lane and one of the lifeguards had to kick him out 'cause his dad did absolutely nothing.

Avatar for j8songrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Sun, 04-07-2013 - 2:10pm

Yeah, I don't understand how parents can leave their kids unsupervised like that. There are way too many wierdos out there these days. It just shows the lack of discipline for kids to even act like that to other adults. I had a young mother, but she was old school because she was raised by her grandmother. I intend to use some of her parenting techniques. I will expect my children to use their manners and treat adults with respect.

My husband and I were just talking about this recently about how kids run their parents because of the lack of discipline and sense of entitlement. It's ridiculous how different one generation can make. Of course, I'm sure older folks were saying that about my generation.  

I wouldn't dare talk like that to another adult at that age. My mom would pop me in the mouth in front of them, make me appologize, and I would have been grounded. I don't mean in my room with TV, cell phones, video games. I didn't have any of that anyway, but what little I did have would have been taken out and locked up until my punishment was over.

I was expected to go to school, come home and do my chores, do my homework, eat dinner, then I could go out to play until the street lights came on and in bed by 10pm.  I was expected to do those things because I was a member of the family. I get the whole teaching kids responsibility and working for allowance, but I think I will do the same system, too. If my kids have what they need, then they will find a way to get what they want.. mowing the lawn, doing yard work, shoveling snow, washing the car... you know, all the extra stuff beyond chores.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Sun, 04-07-2013 - 11:51pm

Exactly! I know that with every new generation comes change, but to distrespect an adult? No way! My mother would've bopped me too. Sometimes I wish I could just discipline other peoples children. There'd be a lot of sore mouths and butts in my city, that's for sure.

Avatar for j8songrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 8:12am

haha, right! Can you imagine if they still had corporal punishement in schools? Kids would act very differently. It would be more like our grandparents generation... when neighbors would even tell on you for doing something bad and then parents would take over discipline.

Now days, parents are afraid to discipline their children because of abuse and that's why kids run their parents. My husband is 31 and his dad is 65... his dad used to make him pick his switch off the tree to spank him with (like I'm sure FIL parents did). He said that was the scariest part of the punishment was actually picking the thing that was going to whoop him. My grandma would never spank us, but she hung a huge paddle above her doorway (for show) and threatened us with it a lot. We didn't act up too bad over her house for fear of that paddle. It's not even necessarily about spanking in general... just lack of discipline.

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Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 8:20pm

I just got home from taking my 2 kids (4 yr. old and 8 yr. old) and thought of you and your post!!!!  I read this huge sign there about rules and I think it said only children up to age 11 are allowed on the playground.  I know you were at a mall, but just wanted to comment that I thought of you Smile

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2011
Tue, 04-09-2013 - 12:11am

LOL. Funny :-)

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